Snowden: U.S. Already Has Robot Soldiers
Edward Snowden, the revealer of secrets, has told the press that the United States already has robot soldiers and since he's been gone, they could number in the hundreds or thousands. "I don't think they want anyone to know how far advanced these...
Read full storyIs There Sex In The Afterlife? Part 3
As everyone on earth now knows - this is my third column on this - beings from the planet Sophia 69 have taken over all of earth's Internet, social media, TV, and radio transmissions in recent days. Details of how this has affected media content...
Read full storyThe Sexy and Sultry Sofia Vergara Woos Then Down In Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Sofia Vergara, the star of the hit sitcom Modern Family flew down to Mexico to get away from the hustle and bustle of Tinsel Town. From the minute her plane landed at The General Antonio Lopez de Santa Ana Airport and she...
Read full storyBook Review - Yoga For Dummies
Where oh where do I start with this review? First of all I think the writer of this book is obviously "having a laugh" at our, the readers - expense. Secondly, who on earth would buy this book? I did. I own a clothes shop, we sell suits, nice suits, but sales have been down, I didn't know if it was due to our opening hours (2.00 am - 4.00 am - Wednesdays only), my sales staff (a mute...
Read full storyRush Limbaugh Says That Nevada Cattleman Cliven Bundy Would Make A Great Senator
NEW YORK CITY - Nevada cattle rancher Cliven Bundy has just about received more publicity than some of the cattleman of the Old West including John Chisum, Charles Goodnight, and Richard King, owner of the one million acre King Ranch in south Texas.
Read full storySunderland Finally Concede That They Are Unlikely To Win Premiership This Year
Sunderland manager Gus Poyet says "It would be a miracle" if his side were to win the Premiership Title this season and has conceded that barring either a miracle or a mathematical impossibility his side are unlikely to be crowned champions. "I th...
Read full storyTetrad news: Exodus 12 warned about Tuesday's bloody Passover eclipse
Israel - Tonight's Tetrad is the first of four eclipses mentioned in the Bible that warns about the time when Passover begins 'on the evening of the fourteenth day of the month' just as an apocalyptic blood-red eclipsed full moon wreaks havoc with t...
Read full storyBlindness Could Lead To Not Being Able To See Things
Although yet to be confirmed by independent scientific corroboration, a research group from Chadswhipple Crosshire Down By The Lake Rockshire University, outside London, has asserted that blindness could have a definite connection to someone not bein...
Read full storyKhloe Kardashian Bashes Angelina Jolie
HOLLYWOOD - Khloe Kardashian has been through quite a bit the past year and a half what with getting canned from Simon Cowell's X-Factor and then having to put up with the sexcapades of her skirt-chasing husband Lamar Odom; whom she has since divorce...
Read full storyZac Efron Is Going Shirtless Everywhere!
Zac Efron ripping his shirt off at public events, like the MTV Awards, is not so rare an event according to ZMT. The sexy star was seen the day after the MTV Awards at the Leatherpride Festival in Akron OH. The shirtless hunk was strutting his s...
Read full storyKaty Perry Disses Ex-Boyfriend John Mayer
HOLLYWOOD - Katy Perry was sitting at The Flamboyant Tortilla Restaurant with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight asking herself how in the world she could have fallen for that low-life, snake in the grass John Mayer and three times to boot. Th...
Read full storyYou Can't Satirize This
TEHRAN - Richard Nelson Frye, a renowned American scholar of Iran who died last month in Boston at 94, wanted to be buried at a spot in this country where songbirds sing and dry desert breezes cool the slow afternoons. Mr. Frye, a Harvard professo...
Read full storyDutch illuminate their streets with glow-in-the dark paint!
The innovative Dutch have gone ahead with a plan to illuminate their streets with paint and do away with lamps. The paint glows in the dark and shines in a green neon colour that they hope will attract aliens in their UFO's to land there. The inve...
Read full storyHospitals to Use Belly Dancers Instead of Anesthesia to Hold Down Costs
A hospital in Minnesota is considering bringing in belly dancers and Chippendales to use instead of knocking medicine and Anesthesia Technician to hold down the costs of many operations. "We can offer this to the person but if he's married we may...
Read full storyRelative Success of Movie Noah Sparks Hollywood Interest In Other Bible-based Movies Completely Devoid of Biblical Accuracy
With the relative success of the recently-released movie 'Noah', staring Russell Crowe, there is buzz in Hollywood of making additional feature-length motion pictures based on Bible stories that are (almost) completely devoid of the events of the act...
Read full storyTwo and A Half Men Announces That Malia and Sasha Obama Will Be Appearing On The Show
HOLLYWOOD - A spokesperson for the CBS sitcom Two and A Half Men has just informed the Hollywood Press that the show will have the nation's first kiddoes appear in an upcoming episode. The White House has confirmed that Malia and Sasha Obama will...
Read full storyUS to Trade Leadership with Britain
London (STT News) - Reports just coming in are of a deal struck between a majority of US citizens and the UK for what could be termed, the deal of the millennium. Right now, the trade would see the entire Dubya Bush and Obama administrations, incl...
Read full storyElectronics industry insider squeals, "Big companies make their products to last long enough for the warranty to expire but not much longer."
Remember the good old days? Your mother or grandmother still has a washing machine that is over forty years old and is still used daily. It sounds and moves like it's trying to lift off to the moon but to it's credit, the bastard still works. You...
Read full storyHorny Moleturds Renew Marriage Vows!
After splitting up a month ago, Kenneth and Carole Moleturd have gotten back together after 28 years of marriage. As we reported in the Mississippi Meadowlark, Kenneth heard Carole sing "You Lost They Loving Feeling" on Karaoke and he said she loo...
Read full storyPope's penance to include 'I Am A Bully' sign
Rome - The European Court of Human Frights has imposed a community service sentence on the Pope ordering him to wear a 'I AM A BULLY!' placard around his neck. For five hours every Sunday until the death of his predecessor, the Deserter Pope Joe R...
Read full storyTryanair institutes "standing room only" section on it's planes
Tryanair has put forward a proposal to the Civil Aviation Authority asking permission to institute a "standing room only" section on designated aircraft. "Fares will be much cheaper for standing room only," read the press release issued by the bud...
Read full storyNY man wrongfully acquitted sues state for $25M
A Brooklyn man wants a million dollars for every year the state did not lock him up in prison. Dean Dork, who spent almost a quarter-century at liberty and free after being found not guilty for a crime he committed, has hit the state with a $25 m...
Read full storySylvester Stallone has mild heart attack re-enacting scene from Rocky
The 67 year old actor Sylvester Stallone was rushed to St. Joesph's hospital Saturday afternoon after sustaining a mild heart attack. Stallone who was re-enacting the famous scene from Rocky where he runs up the stairs of the Philadelphia museum o...
Read full storyMel Gibson and Jeff Ross to star in Lethal Weapon 5
Silver Studios today announced that there would be a fifth film in the Lethal Weapon franchise. Mel Gibson was confirmed to be coming back as Martin Riggs, a bad arse cop who is known for getting under people's skin. Gibson who has been shunn...
Read full storyDallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones Promises That This Season's Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Will Be Prettier, Sexier, and Louder Than Last Year's Version
DALLAS - Jerry Jones, owner of the Dallas Cowboys met with Zorro La Bamba of The Sports Bet Gazette at a local Barbed Wire Barbecue Diner. He let La Bamba know that he is not happy with the 8-8 record that the Cowboys have compiled for the past th...
Read full storyPresident Obama Wanted To Sell Nevada Rancher Cliven Bundy's Cattle To North Korea
WASHINGTON, D.C. - American Spotlight Magazine is reporting that the 402 head of cattle that the Nevada Bureau of Land Management had confiscated from rancher Cliven Bundy were going to be sold to North Korea. President Obama had talked to a repre...
Read full storyThe Federal Government Issues A Warning About Black Market Viagra Pills
WASHINGTON, D.C. - FBI agents have just uncovered a new scam that they say could affect as many as 3 million elderly American males. An FBI agent who did not want his name mentioned stated that agents were able to infiltrate what they are calling...
Read full storyA Volcano Expert From Bombay, India Predicts That Rhode Island's Volcano Will Erupt On September 13, 2014
PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island - The citizens of Providence and the state of Rhode Island have become quite alarmed after hearing the prediction of a volcano expert who lives in Bombay, India. The mayor of Providence received an email from a Mr. Primgar...
Read full storyMaria Sharapova Agrees To Play President Obama In A Benefit Tennis Match
WASHINGTON, D.C. - One of the world's top professional tennis pros, Maria Sharapova, has agreed to play the president of the United States in a benefit tennis match. The match will take place in the summer at The Dr. Renee Richards Tennis Courts i...
Read full storyTaylor Swift and Miley Cyrus' Ex-Boyfriend Liam Hemsworth Spotted At Venice Beach
VENICE BEACH, California - The LaLaLand Daily is reporting that Taylor Swift was spotted on Venice Beach with Liam Hemsworth the ex-boyfriend of the Princess of Twerking Miley Cyrus. Swift and Hemsworth were reportedly holding hands as they walked...
Read full storyGovernor Jan Brewer of Arizona Tells Nevada Rancher Cliven Bundy He Can Graze His Cattle In Her State Free of Charge
PHOENIX - Arizona Governor Jan Brewer contacted Nevada cattle rancher Cliven Bundy and told him that she is proud of him for standing up to the federal government. The dishwater blonde said that she may be a lame duck governor but deep down inside...
Read full storyGlen Miller Big Band Pings Reported by Search Ship
The Australian search ship, Gladiolus I has located a "Chattenoga Choo Choo" ping underwater during the MH370 777 search programme. Earlier faint "In the Mood" pings were logged down last Tuesday. The pings are not thought to have emanated from G...
Read full storyIs There Sex In The Afterlife? Part 2
As everyone on earth now knows, beings from the planet Sophia 69, that harbors extraordinarily intelligent extra-terrestrial life, have taken over all of earth's Internet, social media, TV, and radio transmissions in recent days. As reported in...
Read full storyThe Beatitudes, Updated and Appended to the Recently Passed Republican Tax Plan
Seeing the hungry crowds, Jesus went up on the mountain, and when he sat down, his disciples came to him. 2 And Jesus opened his mouth and yelled at the hungry and destitute crowds, shouting: 3 "Cursed are the poor in spirit, for they are the moochers and the takers! 4 "Cursed are those who mourn, or anyone who needs to be comforted, the saps! 5 "Blessed are the meek, especially those...
Read full storyLights Out During Michael Jackson Autopsy
With all the confusion about the death of Michael Jackson, you would have thought this would come out, but everyone was afraid of publicity or got some cash under the table at the morgue. My name is Roger Mckindle and I was new to my job but was there when the coroner did the work on Michael Jackson. I don't want to bother with the details because they are grisly but not after seeing a lot o...
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