Katy Perry Disses Ex-Boyfriend John Mayer

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 14 April 2014


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Katy has said that Mayer just used her for her amazingly sexy body.

HOLLYWOOD - Katy Perry was sitting at The Flamboyant Tortilla Restaurant with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight asking herself how in the world she could have fallen for that low-life, snake in the grass John Mayer and three times to boot.

The "I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It" singer talked between bites of her Chimichanga. She told de Gallo that she hates to say it but John "The Player" Mayer has a type of svengali mystic hold on women he dates.

She said that John Derek had it when he was dating Ursula Andress, Linda Evans, and then Bo Derek (the original 10 girl).

Perry blames herself for acting like a boy-crazy Beverly Hills school girl and letting Johnny have his way with her time after time after time.

She now realizes that when the jerk (Mayer) sees a woman he only sees a physical specimen. He sees boobs, legs, a butt, and an enticing groin region.

Katy took a sip of her Avocado Margarita and said that Mayer does not now, nor has he ever looked at a woman because she was intelligent, or a great cook, or even because she has a smile that can melt ice up at the North Pole.

But she points out that she has learned her lesson just like other Mayer victims before her did and she will never, ever get together with that pecker-with-feet again.

In Other News. Dennis Rodman has stated that his goal for 2014 is to date his BFF Kim Jong Un's sister, Kim Yo Jong.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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