Sunderland Finally Concede That They Are Unlikely To Win Premiership This Year

Funny story written by D P Whitehead

Monday, 14 April 2014

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Sunderland Fan

Sunderland manager Gus Poyet says "It would be a miracle" if his side were to win the Premiership Title this season and has conceded that barring either a miracle or a mathematical impossibility his side are unlikely to be crowned champions.

"I think we need a miracle. We need something unique, a shock because if not I cannot see it coming," said Poyet "The lads are obviously disappointed, up until maybe a week ago we thought we could maybe snatch the title - but after working it out - we need to win our next 20 games - and we only have 5 left, so, despite the boys giving it their all, it is time to face facts and accept that we can't play 20 games more than the other teams."

Poyet, who took over from sacked Paolo Di Canio in October, said "Sometimes the table doesn't lie. It would be a miracle to win now, I have been doing some thinking and unless 19 other teams are all stripped of points - we ain't gonna win it now."

He added: "It's very hard to take, it's not nice.

"I imagine how hard it is for the fans, but there is no place to hide. I am responsible because I am in charge, and I accept full responsibility."

Poyet though still believes Sunderland can lift both the Europa League and the Champions League.

"I think we still have a chance in those competitions because as yet, we are unbeaten in both."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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