Snowden: U.S. Already Has Robot Soldiers

Funny story written by Bureau

Monday, 14 April 2014

image for Snowden: U.S. Already Has Robot Soldiers

Edward Snowden, the revealer of secrets, has told the press that the United States already has robot soldiers and since he's been gone, they could number in the hundreds or thousands.

"I don't think they want anyone to know how far advanced these really are and my information is old on this", stated Snowden. "These robots can be programmed, use lasers that will cut through a tank and by use of DNA go in and take out a leading terrorist."

The only other country that would know about a lot of this is Japan who also have the robots, according to his best guess. "I'm sure they have some large robot staffed weapons but neither country would use them except in emergencies. But they no longer need special forces that are human or all human."

A Source in Japan says that Japan could defend itself even against China.

"We would probably lose the war but the Chinese would be badly crippled, perhaps enough never to recover."

I guess it's better we don't know what weapons are being built. One thing no one can defend against is a large earthquake, a super volcano explosion or asteroid/comet.

All this 'good news' is paying off for the drug companies and their tranquilizers.

-Reporter: Barry Craig

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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