Cyril Smith Was Not Fat - B.M.A. Report Shocker
Quirky deceased Rochdale Liberal M.P. Cyril Smith was not fat according to a report commisioned by the Dead Politicians Research Committee. Investigations into his death reveal that he was simply not as tall as he should have been. Cyril should ha...
Read full storyCameron Panicking; Suffers Sleepless Nights
David Cameron is firmly in panic mode regarding the rising star of UKIP leader Nigel Farrage. The poor man is suffering badly from sleepless nights and the return of the old bed-wetting problem, supposedly cured during his late teen years. However, w...
Read full storyGeorge Foreman Says Ben Franklin Helped Him Become Wealthy
Benjamin Franklin has been credited as being the inventor of the bifocals, the lightning rod, the odometer, the $100 bill, and the Franklin Stove. But hardly anyone knows that the kite-flying chubster also invented the Franklin Grill, which hundreds...
Read full story'And bijou ensuite bathroom' as realtors list vagrants' Manhattan Bridge frame shacks
New York - Admittedly the plumbing is a little primitive unless you consider a one pint plastic beaker having sufficient capacity for those midnight trips to the bathroom but hey, this is Manhattan where real estate rentals are going through the roo...
Read full storyPutin offers to send military support to Bundy Ranch
The saga at the Bundy Ranch has gone International with the Russian President approaching Cliven Bundy earlier today. It is believed that Vladimir Putin offered the Bundy family up to five thousand trained personnel to guard his ranch and family f...
Read full storyWelsh Independence Referendum Imminent After Feeling Miffed about Attention Given to Scottish Independence
Welsh Nationalist Politicians are sulking and not looking at Sky and BBC News because Alex Salmond is now "Mr. Big Pants", according to the Newspaper, CumruCwyddfyddarcfarchnidd Evening Tribune. A spokesperson in hiding at Rhyll Eisteddfodd told...
Read full story"Snakes on a train" movie to begin production
It's one more clear indication that Hollywood is running out of ideas for movies, with another very similar film to one we have already seen is in production. Mutual film company confirmed that "Snakes on a train" will begin production next month...
Read full storyScientific Studies Show That Twerking Could Lead To Coitus
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A US Government Study has just been released which shows that the practice of twerking could very well lead to coitus. The scientific study was conducted at Johnny Appleseed University in Indianapolis, Indiana. A total of 500...
Read full storyPope Francis To Visit The Ukraine
VATICAN CITY - The Vatican is reporting that Pope Francis is making plans to visit the Ukraine. His holiness has been advised by his team of advisers not to make the trip to Kiev, but he says that he has to go in order to show the world that he is...
Read full storyPing Was My Thong Untwisting - Apologetic Sonar Operator Admits - The Arse That Launched a Thousand Ships
Sheila Sweals, Sonic Detection Unit (S.D.U) Operator on the state of the art Australian ping listening boat, Prince George, admitted not wearing a secure thong at a Court Martial this morning. The boat, looking for pings from missing aeroplane MH 370...
Read full storyJack-In-The-Box Introduces The Latest Member In Its Burger Family
SAN DIEGO, California - Jack-In-The-Box Corporate Spokeswoman Buffy Buttonburg told the press that the San Diego based hamburger giant has just come out with its latest burger creation. The new burger is named The QuakeBurger and it was developed...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Boasts That He Has 1.3 Billion Twitter Followers
PYONGYANG, North Korea - The Rice Paddy National News Agency has just announced that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un now has 1.3 billion twitter followers. Kim Jong Un proudly bragged that he has more twitter followers than Miley Cyrus, Justin Bie...
Read full storyAnn Coulter Says Middle East Peace Talks Are Just An Excuse To Get Drunk and Trade Camel Jokes
NEW YORK CITY - The Middle East Peace Talks have been going on for thousands of years and so far not a damn thing has been accomplished. GOP maven Ann Coulter hit the nail on the head with that remark. She went on to add that the talks are just an...
Read full storyWisconsin To Close Three Cheese Factories
MILWAUKEE - The state of Wisconsin regrets to have to announce that it will be closing down three cheese factories within the next four weeks. The cheese factories are located in Milwaukee, Green Bay, and Oshkosh. A representative for the state...
Read full storyDenmark Has Developed A Drone That It Says Can Carry A Greyhound Bus
COPENHAGEN, Denmark - The Danish government has just let the world know that it has just developed a drone that is so powerful that it can actually carry a Greyhound Bus. Denmark's Prime Minister, the very attractive Helle Thorning-Schmidt unveile...
Read full storyNASA Will No Longer Provide Russia With Mechanical Parts For Her Satellites
HOUSTON - Word coming out of The Lyndon B. Johnson Space Center is that NASA will be making good on the threat they made to Russia one month ago. According to Trent Timmelfarb, NASA spokesperson, the government of Russia was told that if it invade...
Read full storyArizona Residents Vow To Sue Governor Jan Brewer If She Bans Facebook
PHOENIX - American Spotlight Magazine reports that lame duck Governor Brewer has stated that before she leaves office she is going to try and cause as much misery and mayhem as she can. She said that her bitterness is a result of so many Arizona r...
Read full storyThe Hubble Space Telescope Has Detected 3 North Korean Missiles
MERRITT ISLAND, Florida - Kennedy Space Center Spokesperson Virgo Coopercastle has informed the news media that the Hubble Space Telescope has made an amazing discovery. Hubby, as the space telescope is affectionately known, has detected 3 North K...
Read full story800 Convicted Babies and Toddlers Released from Prisons After D.N.A. Tests
An estimated 800 convicted babies, some of them up to 19 months old have been granted pardons after DNA tests proved some of them were not even born at the time the alleged crimes were comitted. Investigations by the Internal Affairs Department i...
Read full storyBo The White House Dog Resigns
Bo, The White House Dog has announced that he will be Resigning effective at the end of April. It's another in a string of resignations to come from the Obama Administration and was not totally unexpected. Bo,a Portuguese water dog was at the cen...
Read full storySpider Venom Causes Painful Erections!
The Brazilian Wandering Spider has repeatedly ranked as the world's most venomous spider to those who study them. You hear a lot about Brown Recluse and Black Widows but these guys are hunters on the ground. They do not try to catch their prey by...
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