Spider Venom Causes Painful Erections!

Funny story written by Bureau

Sunday, 13 April 2014

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The Brazilian Wandering Spider has repeatedly ranked as the world's most venomous spider to those who study them.

You hear a lot about Brown Recluse and Black Widows but these guys are hunters on the ground. They do not try to catch their prey by using a web. Human beings can also be their prey if threatened.

This spider's bite is potent enough to kill a human being within minutes if antidote isn't delivered. Even with medication, the bite can still prove deadly. Just 6 micrograms of venom are enough to kill a mouse, and the spider carries more than 10 times that amount of venom in reserve. You can imagine what would happen with several bites.

In addition, the spider's bite can cause a long and painful erection in men, scientists have discovered. The venom boosts levels of a chemical that increases blood flow, and some have considered using the venom in drugs for erectile dysfunction.

"I think I'll stick with the Viagra", stated one scientist we interviewed.

Found mostly in South America, the large brown spider, which sometimes sports a black spot on its belly, can reach up to 2 inches in body length, with a leg span of up to 6 inches.

However, our climate is changing and as the southern U.S. gets warmer, the spiders may come north or travel by banana boxes as another name for the spider is the Banana Spider!

According to a story in National Geographics, the spider has a trademark move, raising its two front legs in an intimidating pose when frightened. This pose reveals the arachnid's red-haired fangs. The "wandering" part of its name comes from the spider's hunting habits. Instead of using a web to catch prey, the Brazilian spider "wanders" around and hunts on the ground.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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