Kirstie Alley and Wynonna Judd Want To Buy Pizza Hut
LOS ANGELES - Noted California attorney Ginger Allred has been hired by Kirstie Alley and Wynonna Judd. The two celebrities have expressed a desire to purchase the national pizza chain Pizza Hut. Ms. Allred has said that she is presently in the...
Read full storyGrandson Finds Sex Toys In The Attic
Here's a tip from an Old Time reporter: Get rid of any old sex toys or this might happen to you. Martha and I were saying goodbye to our grandson who was headed off to college when he came downstairs from the attic where he was looking for his luc...
Read full storyFrance Is Contemplating Putting The World Famous Eiffel Tower On The Market
PARIS - The French government has reported that its financial situation is almost getting as bad as America's. A high ranking official stated that there has been talk coming out of President Francois Hollande's office that one way to quickly raise...
Read full storyGovernor Chris Christie Considering Getting A 100-Pound Liposuction
TRENTON, New Jersey - Governor Chris Christie has made it clear that he has his eyes focused on being the Republican candidate in the 2016 presidential race. The rotund governor recently appeared on The View and he was asked by Barbara Walters if...
Read full storyBigger role mooted for Chinese Flea Market
Beijing - The new Chinese government has given the nod for market farces to play a bigger role in the country's state-dominated trading tool, the All-China Flea Market Corp. Communist Party apparatchiks want the state-run behemoth to take a decisi...
Read full storyLatest Government Austerity Measures Cause Havoc On Nations Pockets
David Cameron, Prime Minister and Conservative, has unveiled his latest tactic in achieving 'permanent austerity' in Britain. Announcing his latest plan at a banquet, held in honour of having expensive parties for people who don't really do anythi...
Read full storyKim Jong Un's Marriage Is Reportedly On The Rocks
PYONGYANG, North Korea - An unnamed, inside source has informed North Korea's Rice Paddy National News Agency that there appears to be some problems in North Korean leader Kim Jong Un's marriage. The source stated that Mrs. Kim Jong Un (Ri Sol Ju)...
Read full storyThe Tampa Bay Buccaneers Are No Longer Winless As They Beat The Miami Dolphins 22-19
TAMPA BAY, Florida - The Buccaneers fans were totally ecstatic as their 0-8 team finally won its first game of the season. The Buccaneers beat the Miami Dolphins by a score of 22-19. Many sports writers were quick to blame the loss on all of the D...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Smokes A Marijuana Joint At The MTV Europe Music Awards
AMSTERDAM - Miley Cyrus keeps trying to outdo herself with each new day and lately she has been quite successful. She performed at the MTV EMA's and many in the audience could not believe when the 20-year-old attention-seeker lit up a marijuana ci...
Read full storyNASA Says That China Has Expressed An Interest In Buying The Land Rover Curiosity
HOUSTON - The government of China has acquired a lot of property in the United States and they have a strong desire to purchase a lot more. National Focus Magazine reported that (China) has expressed an interest in purchasing such well known Ameri...
Read full storySenator John "The Casanova" Edwards Is Up To His Old Womanizing Habit
CHAPEL HILL, North Carolina - John Edwards, the notorious womanizer is at it again. The senator from North Carolina has dumped his baby mama Rielle Hunter, 49, for a much younger Danielle King who is only 35. Hunter was a photographer and King...
Read full storyPaula Deen's Husband Dumps Her For A Younger Woman
SAVANNAH, Georgia - The word coming out of Savannah is that just when it looked like it could not have gotten worse for Paula Deen - it has. The 66-year-old dethroned Southern cooking maven has just found out that her husband of nine years Michael...
Read full storyJohn Boehner arrested for sniffing bicycle seats at LGBT rally in DC!
Speaker of the House of Representatives, John Boehner was apprehended this morning after police observed him sniffing bicycle seats at a LGBT rally on the mall in Washington DC. Boehner appeared to be intoxicated when a reporter from the Washingto...
Read full storyZac Efron's relationship goes afoul
Zac Efron is not married, yet his break up with his girlfriend is just as disastrous as Michael Jordan's divorce to Juanita Jordan. Micheal payed Juanita a whopping $168 million dollars, which at the time made it the largest public-record divorce set...
Read full storyNadal succumbs to same bizarre ritual touching routine that signalled end of Andy Roddick's career
London, UK - Grand Slam legend has it that Roger Federer was always able to scent early victory over Andy Roddick by 'reading' the one-time US Open champ's weird on-court behavioral quirks of constantly tugging on his baseball cap, pulling up the sh...
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