Stressed-Out Banker Throws a Sicky - Sympathy In Short Supply

Funny story: Stressed-Out Banker Throws a Sicky - Sympathy In Short Supply

It was announced today that a stressed out banker has thrown a sicky, at least until Christmas, and been placed in a medical facility in order to aid his recovery from fatigue and exhaustion. The banker, who in certain circles has been described as...

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Not Everyone Wins With Black Friday Arriving Late Thanksgiving Day

Funny story: Not Everyone Wins With Black Friday Arriving Late Thanksgiving Day

With the announcement of getting an early jump on the seasonal shopping season; Kohl's, Target and Macy's hope to kickstart "Black Friday" by opening very late in the evening on Thanksgiving, Named Black Friday because the day is a quasi benchmark fo...

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President Obama's Nobel Peace Prize rumored to be used in next generation Predator Drones

Funny story: President Obama's Nobel Peace Prize rumored to be used in next generation Predator Drones

A confidential source within the Central Intelligence Agency has revealed that a new generation of Predator Drones is set to be deployed. While not officially confirmed, the new remote-controlled killing machines will reportedly be used within the Un...

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Greek PM promises not to change his mind again (much)

Funny story: Greek PM promises not to change his mind again (much)

The Greek PM George Papalazarou has stated firmly that democracy is alive and well in Greece, and that he has complete control over it. Earlier this week he promised that there would be a referendum on the austerity measures Greece had promised. Thes...

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God chickens out of debating Richard Dawkins

Funny story: God chickens out of debating Richard Dawkins

God has refused to debate Richard Dawkins, citing the following passage from "The God Delusion": "The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-...

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Bank of America and Chase Bank Offset the Costs of Charging You Fees by Adding a Fee Surcharge

Funny story: Bank of America and Chase Bank Offset the Costs of Charging You Fees by Adding a Fee Surcharge

Corporate money-sequestration titans Bank of America and Chase Bank today announced that their recently announced new fees and the hikes of existing fees will actually cost more money to introduce, charge and enforce than expected, leaving net profit...

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The Microsoft Tablet is Dead, Long Live the Felchmann Project

Funny story: The Microsoft Tablet is Dead, Long Live the Felchmann Project

Following the announced cancellation of the Courier tablet project by Microsoft, other small engineering firms are standing ready to pick up the slack and build their own version of a thin and highly functional tablet. Enter technology industry vent...

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Pakistan bowlers will get plenty of "fast ball action" in prison!

Funny story: Pakistan bowlers will get plenty of "fast ball action" in prison!

The two Pakistan bowlers convicted of match fixing because of bowling their balls too wide are to be jailed, and in prison they will have to learn to bowl "no balls" even better because in-mates will be aiming their balls at them pretty fast, tossers...

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Professor Norton Folgate's Theory on Narwhals

Funny story: Professor Norton Folgate's Theory on Narwhals

In the sometime occasional series by Professor Norton Folgate there have been many fascinating and intriguing topics and today's is no exception. This edition discusses the benefits of having a three metre tusk, but only if you are a Narwhal. "Narwhals are an odd species. Related to the Beluga whale they live in the Artic. During the really cold periods, which they have in the Artic on a...

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Prince Philip 'to be burnt at the stake' to atone for Greek debt fiasco: reports

Funny story: Prince Philip 'to be burnt at the stake' to atone for Greek debt fiasco: reports

Athens - Hellenic Hellfire Club grandees are demanding the public immolation of Prince Philip in an appeasement of the gods sacrifice that some reckon he's had coming for years. "The Old Spanish Inquisition had the right idea," Greek Minister for...

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Scott Walker doing a little Koch

Madison, WI--Scott Walker is getting booed where ever he goes these days, and his spirit was sinking, until he discovered doing a little Koch would fix the problem. "It is hard to get up everyday and be booed during breakfast, go to the office an...

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Professor says "oh no" to online onanism

Recently there has been a lot of controversy relating to the modern world's effects on the developing brain. However, one area in particular has been overlooked, until now. Professor Susan Fallowfield notes "My previous work has shown that the poo...

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Scott Walker defends his tough choices

Scott Walker is worried that the people of Wisconsin don't see the good he has done for the state, so is pleading with every media outlet to let him make his case for remaining in office. UWGB-Beek: Scott I just want to thank you for taking the time to do this interview. Walker: I just want to say that I really enjoy your news stories, and know that you will tell my story in a way that peo...

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Rod Stewart Latest Victim Of Rock Legal Watchdog

Funny story: Rod Stewart Latest Victim Of Rock Legal Watchdog

Rock superstar Rod Stewart is the latest musician to find himself in the sites of a litigious music fan - and all because of recent torrential rain. Rod, 66, shot to fame in the 1970's with solo hits like Maggie May and You Wear It Well and as the...

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"Mr. Bankruptcy" calls Jon Stewart a racist

New York, NY--Donald Trump is calling Jon Stewart a racist for pointing out that Herman Cain sexually harassed two women. "How dare Jon Stewart make jokes about Herman Cain harassing two women. It is totally racist to pick on a man because of his...

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Cain accuser: "It was no big thing!"

The young blonde, blue eyed woman took the podium yesterday in a press conference to explain the circumstances surrounding the accusations of Herman Cain's sexual harassment charges. It didn't last long as she made her opening statement. She began: "...

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What It Is To Be Fracked Off

Studies have revealed that hydraulic fracturing of rocks underground for shale gas otherwise known as 'fracking' could be responsible not just for minor earthquakes close to where the fracking goes on such as what happened earlier this year near Blac...

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Shocking Photos of Mitt Romney Suckling the Breast of a Woman, Neither his Mother nor his Wife

Funny story: Shocking Photos of Mitt Romney Suckling the Breast of a Woman, Neither his Mother nor his Wife

Late last Friday, revealing photographs surfaced on the internet of GOP Presidential candidate Mitt Romney. Pictures depicting Governor Romney with his lips wrapped around the areola of a woman that is definitely not his Mother or his wife. On Mon...

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Who Was The Unidentified Erotic Blonde That Ashton Kutcher Was Allegedly Doing The Horizontal Hula With Down In Cabo San Lucas, Mexico?

Funny story: Who Was The Unidentified Erotic Blonde That Ashton Kutcher Was Allegedly Doing The Horizontal Hula With Down In Cabo San Lucas, Mexico?

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - The producers of Two and A Half Men are thrilled that the viewers have taken to Charlie Sheen's replacement Ashton Kutcher likes sardines to water. Kutcher who is extremely popular with not only the cast and crew but with...

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Kim Karplastican Lobbies Daniel Craig for Next Bond Girl Spot

Funny story: Kim Karplastican Lobbies Daniel Craig for Next Bond Girl Spot

Not to be left out of the next entertainment news cycle and realizing her 15 minutes of reality show nonsensical fame is about up, newly available though not yet divorced Kim Karplastican, will be lobbying Daniel Craig to win the female lead in the n...

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Premiership managers asked to take part in Cliché-free December

Funny story: Premiership managers asked to take part in Cliché-free December

Premiership managers will be reaching for the thesaurus in December as they are asked to take part in Cliché-free December. "I'm fed up to the back teeth of all the clichés," said Ed Balls minister for sport. "So we had a blue sky meeting and came...

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Third Herman Cain Accuser Willing To Talk For Girl Scout Cookies

Funny story: Third Herman Cain Accuser Willing To Talk For Girl Scout Cookies

VIRGINIA - At a campaign stop at Alexandria, Virginia, where people are simply happy to eat their Thomas Jefferson Liberty popsicles and be on their merry way, reporters swarmed Herman Cain and pelted him with questions about accuser number three's a...

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The Cause of The LeAnn Rimes - Kelly Clarkson Feud

Funny story: The Cause of The LeAnn Rimes - Kelly Clarkson Feud

NASHVILLE - LeAnn Rimes has lately been in the news more because of her tremendous weight loss than for anything to do with singing. The country music songstress has admitted to getting down to 67 pounds. She says that her husband Eddie Cibrian, w...

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Herman Cain Caught Trying To Get A Piece

Funny story: Herman Cain Caught Trying To Get A Piece

Republican presidential primary candidate Herman Cain has been broadsided with accusations of, and covering up, sexual harassment. The former pizza magnate has now had a fifth accuser come forward with allegations that she was sexually harassed on...

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Kim Kardashian Denies That She Is Divorcing Kris Humphries Because She Is Pregnant With Herman Cain's Baby

Funny story: Kim Kardashian Denies That She Is Divorcing Kris Humphries Because She Is Pregnant With Herman Cain's Baby

HOLLYWOOD - The Kim Kardashian - Kris Humphries divorce is quickly turning into a Hollywood version of The Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus. After just 72 days of wedded bliss or semi-wedded bliss, Kimberly Noel Kardashian filed for d...

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Charlie Sheen Has Interviewed Two Possible New Sexy Goddesses

Funny story: Charlie Sheen Has Interviewed Two Possible New Sexy Goddesses

SHERMAN OAKS - Charlie "The Space Cadet" Sheen has been keeping a bit of a low-profile lately. He recently told a Hollywood reporter that it is all by design because he is getting ready to make a memorable announcement. According to Fajita San Gua...

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UK Police to be issued with rubber chickens

Funny story: UK Police to be issued with rubber chickens

Following on from the furore surrounding the 'baseball-bat arrrest' incident in which three male and one female officer smashed a car to pieces using baseball-bats because the driver of the vehicle did not get out of his car in time, all police aroun...

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