Cameron backs e-petition to save Career Advisers
In response to an e-petition calling for Career Advisers in Schools to be saved, the government has pledged £1.2 million to be invested over the next three years. A confidential source close to the Prime Minister said: "The government relies on C...
Read full story
Dino Turns 40 Something
Dino Macdermutt turned 40 something last Wednesday, and it certainly was a B-Day to remember! It started out with a whiney unromantic public declaration of love from his soulmate Torid Spellington who posted "A Letter to My Love Mate" on her website: www.90210X0X0.web, reported TMZTALK Dino... I've known about you my whole scattered life. I would dream of you every nite leaving your unassumi...
Read full story
Republican Party Changes Name to Teapublican Party
After weeks of rancorous internal debate, the Republican National Committee (RNC) passed a resolution renaming itself the Teapublican Party. Although the cost of the change is estimated at close to $53 million, Chairman Reince Priebus said the Te...
Read full story
Typos in Small Town Newspaper Story Puts Herman Cain in Awkward Position
The Leaderville Picayune-Messenger is in hot water after a typo throughout a news article slipped past a final edit. The error is making Herman Cain out to be one horny old man, but this time it was not intentional. Evidently, whoever edited the s...
Read full story
The Dallas Cowboys Organization Silences Melissa Kellerman, The Cowboy Cheerleader Who Was Tackled On The Sidelines
DALLAS - Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones prides himself in running a very tight ship, but in the case of the Cowboys cheerleader who was tackled by Dallas tight end Jason Witten the ship got a whole lot tighter. By now, just about everyone who d...
Read full story
Obama's Budget Finds Funding for Armageddon
The White House reports that President Obama has "up and converted to evangelism" in preparation for a possible run against Herman Cain in 2012, apparently not realizing Cain had already bitten the proverbial political dust. Citing Harold Campin...
Read full story
Prince Harry to enter NASA's Astronaut Training Program!
Prince Harry is to enter NASA's Astronaut Training Program. However, it is unlikely he will begin his initial two year astronaut training phase at NASA's Johnson Space Centre in Texas until January as he feels he should be spending at least some time...
Read full story
William's choppper scours Lleyn Peninsula for 3,000 tonnes of rocks
Wales - A cargo ship's Cowes-bound 3,000 tonne rock payload is being hunted on the Welsh seabed by RAF search and rescue pilot Prince William following the sinking of the Swanland today. Coastguard sources were keen to stress that the rocks are al...
Read full story
'MoD paranoia' has kept backbencher MP's George Cross classified for nearly 30 years
London - Details of an eminent UK Parliamentartian's George Cross medal have been mothballed from the public domain ever since Mrs Thatcher's first term of office in the 1980s. According to reliable Whitehall sources the gong was awarded for 'incr...
Read full story
Shopping: The Manchester Way
Two femme Fatales were arrested by the police yesterday after their daring robbery was foiled by most high tech (and unstoppable) of police tactics. The stationary, highly visible security camera. The two woman gang, made up of Rose "The Flowerpo...
Read full story
Jesus's birth was not supernatural
A new scripture, the gospel of Bob, has been found in the deserts of Israel. It describes intimate details about the love life of Mary, mother of Jesus, and is sure to rock the foundations of the Christian world. In the gospel, which is written in the form of a sitcom, it describes Mary meeting her parents and telling her them of her pregnancy. It says: Mary: Hi, Mum, I have something to tel...
Read full story
Bryan Air to show free in-flight movies
Bryan Air, the cheapest of the budget airways is to show in flight films free of charge. This is an unusual move by the low-cost airline renowned for charging for everything else above and beyond the price of the ticket. "Ordinarily," said OfAi...
Read full story
Worthing Love God Alf Starling Does Double Date With Stacey Solomon And Tulisa Off X Factor In Dorking
Although it does seem highly improbable, and possibly completely unreadable, it appears that real life is often stranger than fiction. Especially on this website. 104 year old Alf Starling, of Worthing, a viagra 20 a day man, was allegedly see...
Read full story
Rodgers and Hammerstein Estate go after Liverpool FC
The estate of Rodgers and Hammerstein are going after Liverpool Football Club in Liverpool for unclaimed royalties dating back sixty years. "We have discovered," said Roger Shammerstein (no relation), lawyer for the estate, "that Liverpool Associa...
Read full story
Kelly Clarkson Is Tired of Kelly Osbourne's Trash Talk
HOLLYWOOD - Kelly Clarkson recently appeared on X-Factor where she sang her hit song "Stronger." After the show she spoke backstage with Vodka Vermicelli of iRumors. Miss V asked Kelly how she was feeling after recently having had a little female...
Read full story
Gingrich wants to put the Grinch in a Winch
Republican Presidential Candidate, Newt Gingrich, has decided to show his passion and empathy to the American people by forcing an investigation on his lecherous relative Jerry Odious who is more commonly known as The Grinch. "The Grinch who resid...
Read full story
NBA Lockout May Be Over, Players Have to Relearn the Game
The good news is that professional basketball in the U.S. may soon be making its return. The bad news is that many of the players need to be retrained in their field of endeavor. Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but apparently it does noth...
Read full story
Plastic surgery is going to the dogs
Plastic surgery for dogs is the hottest thing in Hollywood right now, and many practitioners are struggling to keep up. Not so Dr Michael Sag, a leading plastic surgeon who predicted the trend over a decade ago and runs the wildly successful Canine...
Read full story
Scientists discover paisley-propensity gene
In an important breakthrough, scientists have discovered a gene that causes a fondness for paisley. This gene, which was discovered on chromosome 11, nestled between addictive personality and porphyria, is known as PKGUM2. Although the presence o...
Read full story
In Order to Avoid the Mayan Doomsday Prediction, the Year 2012 Will be Skipped Entirely
It has been announced by the President of the World's Calendar Association, Eddy Days, that the Gregorian calendar shall be changed in order to avoid the Mayan doomsday prediction which is supposed to happen sometime in the year 2012, which by chance...
Read full story
Black Friday 2 hits shelves, 3D compatible with PS3
Warring Bros. has released Black Friday 2 for the PlayerStation 3 and Xboxer 360 game consoles. The game offers several new gameplay features including Pepper Spray, 4 Player Tag-Team, Blue Light Challenge Mode, and King of the Clearance Rack. Bla...
Read full story
The Detroit Lions' Ndamukong Suh Says He May Quit Football And Become A Pro Wrestler
DETROIT - The NFL football player who has been voted by his fellow NFL members as The Dirtiest Football Player In The NFL has said that he may be changing professions. Ndamukong Suh [Pronounced: NUMB-SKULL-SHIT] was ejected from the Detroit Lions-...
Read full story
