Kim Kardashian Denies That She Is Divorcing Kris Humphries Because She Is Pregnant With Herman Cain's Baby

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 3 November 2011


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Kris Humphries has said that he is going to miss Kim's big butt even more than he misses playing basketball.

HOLLYWOOD - The Kim Kardashian - Kris Humphries divorce is quickly turning into a Hollywood version of The Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus.

After just 72 days of wedded bliss or semi-wedded bliss, Kimberly Noel Kardashian filed for divorce from NBA lockout basketball star Kris Humphries.

Kris was absolutely floored as he told Gibraltar Yukon of the El Lay Informer that he had no idea that his wife of just a little over two months did not want to be Mrs. Kris Humphries anymore.

Yukon asked Kris if he had any idea why the big butted Kim had acted to end their marriage. Kris took umbrage to Yukon referring to his wife as being big butted.

The El Lay Informer reporter asked Kris if he has really taken a good look at his wife's ass. Kris told him not to be referring to his wife's ass as her ass.

Yukon told him that he called it an ass because that is exactly what it is and if truth be told, Kim's ass is so big that technically it could physically, scientifically, and medically qualify as being two asses.

Kris told Yukon that he still loves Kim and knows that he is going to miss her humongous as hell booty which he said is so big that it actually leaves a room two seconds after Kim does.

Gibraltar Yukon was able to talk with Kim Kardashian on the phone and he asked her about the rumor that the reason why she had filed for divorce from Kris was because she was pregnant with Herman "The Player" Cain's baby.

Kim yelled out that the rumor was completely false. She then said that concrete proof that the rumor was untrue is the fact that for one thing she hates politicians and for another thing she is allergic to the smell of pizza.

The El Lay Informer will stay with the Kardashian-Humphries divorce story and shoot down any more salacious rumors that may pop up.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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