Royal Wedding has been called off!
It is true. The Royal Wedding has indeed been called off. Now before you cancel your hotel bookings and days off work, please take time to read the rest of this amazing story. Read it to the end and you will learn a lot about the customs of othe...
Read full storyBrian Cox - the rising star of British Astronomy
Brian Cox, the rising star of television astronomy, has been asked to explain the entire universe, all that has happened, all that will happen, how it happens and what is going on right now across the entire visible universe. In four hour long episod...
Read full storyPresident Obama Begs Texas Governor to Secede from the Union
Unable to come up with sufficient funds to fight the drug war that is spilling over the Mexican border into Texas, Obama says he is finally willing to take Texas Governor Rick Perry up on his threat to secede from the union. Said Obama, "We've con...
Read full storyCould the metric system kill the middle class?
LONDON - After Inhopeless decided to let his right-wing cousins Bob run Inhopeless Media Group for a day, he has found some... interesting news. According to research done by Bob, SI units could be the number one killer of middle-class families. Although the true middle-class is nothing like Bob says, here is what he says. The middle-classes, who are mostly educated, distrust the metric s...
Read full storySpooferheroes: Chapter Two: He Occurs
To clarify, my mother is not dead. My homeworld is Earth, not Gop. I was never dumped in a vat of radioactive waste, nor was I biten by a special being. I am normal. Ish. Of course, my powers started manifesting, innocently. Yet again, today, after being beaten up by losers for my intelligence, I found an old drawer in the street. In there was a phone. My HTC Desire HD phone. What it was...
Read full storyNew Sensation from Outer Space!
In timing of clear relevance and meaning a scientist from NASA has found the remnants of alien life fossils at a time when all is being revealed about UFO sightings. Richard Hoover, writing in the Journal of Cosmology, found these fossils which h...
Read full storySimon Cowell Is Touting Chelsea Footballer Ashley Cole To Replace His Ex-Wife Cheryl Cole As A Judge On "X-Factor"
LONDON - Simon Cowell, who Queen Elizabeth II herself has remarked will soon become the richest man in The United Kingdom, has stated who he would like to see replace Cheryl Cole as judge on his highly rated reality show X-Factor. Cowell, the man...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson Is Tired Of Twilight
Twilight franchise star Robert Pattinson continues to sweep all before him when it comes to being a top star and even topper sex symbol. You would think he would be cock-a-hoop. But Robert Pattinson is not completely cock-a-hoop. It's unlikely Rob...
Read full storyMichael Jackson's Three Kids, Paris, Prince, and Blanket Star In Glove and Sock Commercials
HOLLYWOOD - Janet Jackson has announced that her niece Paris, and her two nephews Prince and Blanket have just finished shooting commercials for Handy Gloves and Rock Socks. The children of Michael Jackson are all very talented and will soon be ap...
Read full storyUnderstanding the Small Print
This world is constantly being tied up with red tape and bureaucracy and even with the simplest, cheapest gadgets (usually made in China, and therefore translated rather badly) come a plethora of instructions that can take weeks to digest before even using new equipment for the first time. Then of course there is the gobbledygook to contend with. For example: I recently bought one of those new...
Read full storySpooferheroes: Chapter One: The Titan Explodes
Ah, Masterchev, such a pleasant surprise," the voice in the darkness cooed. "Not really. You only sent me thirty invites to come to this exact destination, then text me to make sure I'd come to the right place, and then took a picture of yourself milling around this dingy little club. By the way, couldn't you have arranged to meet at a Starbucks?" I replied, biting on a toothpick. Not because...
Read full storySir Alex Ferguson pleased to see Rangers back on track
Walter Smith, having banished Sally McCoist to a golf course in Crieff, is reported to have discussed his present Rangers team's performances with true blue, once a Ger always a Ger, Sir Alex Ferguson. Hothead Sally, always up for a joke and a lau...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Gets Chat-Up Tips From Robert Pattinson
Twilight Titan Robert Pattinson is certainly a hit with the ladies. So is Tousle-Topped Poppet Prince of Pop Justin Bieber. Both Robert Pattinson and Justin Bieber, then, are hits with the ladies. We asked Hollywood Gossip Guru Gutsi S Vermont about the sex appeal of both Robert Pattinson and Justin Bieber. "Yes, I would agree", said Gutsi S Vermont. "Both Robert Pattinson and Justin Bieber...
Read full storyFamous Spoof writer, S+++b 99, commits Hari Kari as Man Utd are stuffed by the Scousers!
One of the Spoof's most famous son's, S+++b 99, has committed hari-kari after watching his fav Reds being stuffed by the other wannabee Reds, Scousers, it was too much to take. After half-time there was still some hope and S+++b 99, being suppor...
Read full storySome Second-hand Man. U kits up for sale on Ebay-being bought up by gloating Liverpool fans
Many fickle Man. U. fans are hanging their heads in shame and putting Man. U.team kits up for sale on Ebay. It was rumoured that Liverpool fans are buying them for pennies to use as 'dusters'. True fans are hanging in with 'the lads' as they say i...
Read full storyPansy footballers wearing "snoods" (neckwarmers) get sore throats as FIFA ban them!
The latest trend in the soccer world for pampered, over-paid players, has been banned by the governing body, FIFA; they claim neck-warmers or snoods are unaccepable in the real men's game (what?), "choke, choke!" (The writer of this Spoof just got a...
Read full storyManchester United Fuming After Loss Against Liverpool.
Further back room let-downs have struck Manchester United this weekend. As reported last week here, after an administrative error caused defeat at Chelsea, the gremlins struck again for the beleaguered club as they played the superior Liverpool squad...
Read full storyGeorge Bush Committed
Unnamed sources are reporting that former U.S president George W. Bush has been admitted to a mental health facility in Houston, Texas suffering from "severe emotional distress". 'Dubya', who lost the presidential election to Barack Obama in 2008,...
Read full storyGay Man makes Teenage Boy Blow his Garden Hose
A gay man pottering about his garden summoned the assistance of a passing teenage schoolboy when he discovered that his garden hose was blocked. Larry Sabu, 20, was attempting to wash his pink VW Beetle in the driveway of his house when he noticed...
Read full storyVictoria Beckham planning to outshine Kate at Royal Wedding
It has been brought to our notice that Victoria Beckham is planning to 'outshine' the bride herself at the upcoming Royal Wedding. Although she has vehemently denied this when asked directly, a reporter of The Spoof was standing behind Victoria as...
Read full storyGay Man lets Teenage Boys Climb all over his Erection
A gay artist has dumbfounded locals in his village by giving permission for children to climb all over a marble sculpture he erected in the towns square. Larry Sabu, 20, said that he wants to bring his art to as wide an audience as possible - pref...
Read full storyManchester United's Nani Invents Leg Injury To Save Getting Shouted At During Half Time
Manchester United's Nani was taken off just before half time during the drubbing they were getting from arch-rivals Liverpool. In a fantastic display that the Oscar judges would have been proud of, Nani dropped to the floor after a soft challenge...
Read full storyInquiry; Lady Gaga replied she's going to run for President
I got some emails from whom I believe is either Lady Gaga or her producers encouraging the idea that she is going to announce her candidacy for President on 11/11/11. I can't prove that's who the emails are from but whoever sent them is relating information about her new video Born This Way that it would seem only her inner circle would know about. My impression is that they want to build this int...
Read full storyScandalous! Justin Bieber Listens to Rock Music!
LOS ANGELES - Inhopeless Media Group have unearthed the music stored on Bieber's iPod. The results are shocking. After stealing it from Bieber's bedroom, posing as highly-acclaimed movie star Todd Toddson, Inhopeless has disemated the contents.
Read full storyKate already HAS her dress...
Kate Middleton already HAS her dress. It is in the sewing room of a very large bridal store just outside Toronto for final alterations. She was apparently shopping for her dress the same day one of our Spoof Writers was there with her daughter, shopping for a wedding dress. Most 'shoppers' stopped in their tracks when they saw Kate enter. They all watched as her 'assistant' (all brides-to-...
Read full storyFrank Lampard to have a sex change operation
Chelsea midfielder, Frank Lampard has admitted that he is nearing the end of his career in the beautiful game. Unfortunately, being the dullest object on the planet, so dull he occasionally vanishes during matches, he would only be eligible for a Mat...
Read full storyMcQueen to design dress for Royal Wedding
With news that John Galliano from Dior was unavailable for design work due to his references towards a Mr A Hitler, formerly of Austria (Mr Hitler and not Mr Galliano), the designer McQueen has come to the rescue to design the dress for the up and co...
Read full storyConcern Rises As Police Hunt For Missing Jedward's Hair
Concerns are escalating today as police step-up their nationwide search for Jedward's hair. The X-Factor losers were made famous for their out of tune singing and twee Irish accents back in 2009. The duo gained notoriety when conspiracy theorists...
Read full storyBeggars should not be choosers
Sociologists at Loughborough University have tested out the old phrase "Beggars Cannot Be Choosers" to see how much truth it holds. "We had a blank week between identifying the next big thing and solving the riddle of the supermarket checkout queu...
Read full storyJames Bond in Libya
We have reliable reports coming in that James Bond is currently in Libya. Previously he slept with Gaddafi's daughter Salome in an attempt to find out more about her father's plans. But Bond was suspected, because his penis was tattooed with the Union Jack - only visible when erect. Our man James only escaped after overpowering several tanks sent to eliminate him. But this was after Bond d...
Read full storyBoy Saddened at Returned Love Letter
SACREMENTO, CA - Richard Wright was returned a love letter from his friend, to his dismay. "She [Sarah Smith] thought I was sending her a piece to be marked, I'm assuming," he said. He produced a tatty bit of paper with scribblings correcting gram...
Read full storyCameron admits advisor appointment was a "disastrous decision"
David Cameron has today been forced to admit that his appointment of a controversial economic adviser was a mistake. The adviser was behind some of the recent unpopular "austerity measures" but it appears that his credentials may not have been fully...
Read full storyJerkaffi believes his people still 'laff him'
TRIPOLI (Reuters) - Muammar Gaddafi (more commonly known as G-dog) has vowed to die in Libya as a martyr. "Ma beeble laff mee," said Gaddafi. Earlier, witnesses protesting at Tripoli's Green square said Gaddafi was the most hated man in the wh...
Read full storyJennifer Aniston on Why She Hates Angelina Jolie
LOS ANGELES CALIFORNIA - Although the former F.R.I.E.N.D.S actor doesn't like to come to terms with her loss of super star hunk Brad Pitt, she's finally decided to let the cat out of the bag and responded to my request for a phone interview Saturday morning. Jennifer claims that the reason Brad dumped her for Angelina was because Angelina like Brad is a devil worshipper and while that's complet...
Read full storyThe Great Wall of China May Have To Be Demolished Due To Extensive Damage From Decades of Graffiti
HONG KONG - One of China's leading news agencies The Ying Yang News Agency is reporting that government inspectors have reported that recent inspections of The Great Wall of China have turned up some shocking discoveries. It appears that due to de...
Read full storyLiverpool v Man Utd Too Massive To Be Seen?
Scientists fear that today's football match between Liverpool and Manchester United will not be seen by anyone. They are concerned that the game is so massive that no light will escape from Anfield - the home of Liverpool. Said a science inside...
Read full storyPolitical Correctness in Football - Chapter 25
Continuing our look at the ever increasing world of political correctness and the many ways in which accepted soccer speak breaks the rules. ".... made a monkey out of him" This expression used to be perfectly o.k. but over the years has more and more become a target for the anti-racism lobby. Accordiingly, a previously unheard of suggestion is to be made, namely, . the use of one of the m...
Read full storyKevin Pietersen Facing Major Operation
England batsman and occasional off spinner Kevin Pietersen is to undergo a major operation at the end of the World Cup, which is currently taking place in India and Sri Lanka. Originally Pietersen was scheduled to have a hernia operation, but the...
Read full storyRangers Boss Lays Down The Law To Players
As Rangers season seems on the verge of imploding, manager Walter Smith has laid down a harsh new code of conduct for all players. Smith is concerned that, in the wake of another humiliating defeat at the hands of Old Firm rivals Celtic, season 20...
Read full storyLennon Apologises To Celtic Board
Celtic manager Neil Lennon has made a formal apology to the Celtic board after his touchline antics at the Old Firm game last Wednesday. The Irishman not only exchanged words with Rangers assistant manager Ally McCoist when the final whistle went,...
Read full storyAmerican Idol's Lauren Alaina, 16, Does Not Appreciate The Comment That She's A Cross Between Carrie Underwood and Kelly Clarkson
HOLLYWOOD - One of the youngest performers to ever appear on American Idol has a fairly good chance of making it into the finals. Rossville, Georgia native Lauren Alaina, who just recently turned 16, is being touted as one of the ones to beat. She...
Read full storyThe Costume Designer On 'Dancing With The Stars' Says He Is Having To Use Lots and Lots of Material Sewing Kirstie Alley's Dance Outfits
HOLLYWOOD - The gentleman in charge of designing and sewing every single dance costume for the celebrities and professionals on Dancing With The Stars has confided that this year he really has his work cut out for him (no pun intended). Lazlo Lazl...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen Offers to Buy CBS for Two Billion Dollars
Charlie Sheen, appearing on a special edition of the Shopping Channel, has made an offer to buy CBS, which owns the rights to his cancelled show Two and a Half Men. So far, he's offering $2 billion dollars. Sheen, appearing on the show dressed lik...
Read full storySkoob Sports News Banned From Reporting On Liverpool v United
That's it - we're banned. We can't say another word. There have been allegations in the past that SSN has referred to those cuddly, good natured, naturally witty Liverpudlian folks as "bin dippers" "granny stabbers" Mickey Mousers" and sour pussed...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen and Goddesses Mud Wrestling Video Breaks YouTube Record
Charlie Sheen is out to show CBS and anyone else who may have doubted his ability to make money that he is closest to becoming God than anyone on earth, even while his life seems to be falling to pieces. In case no one has yet noticed, Sheen is t...
Read full storyParmesan Cheese Manufacturer Takes Out Patent On Sweaty Socks
Just in - Italian Parmesan cheese manufacturing market leader, 'Mister Whiffy' has launched an unprecedented patent pending bid for sweaty socks. "We are protecting our interests inna de market" said Signor Kraft Dolcelatte of 'Mister Whiffy.'...
Read full storyCabinet fears over Prince Andrew's rough trade role
London - The Duke of York's pervy paedo pals are tarnishing the glitter of royal glitz. Now the government fears his role as Britain's International Representative for Rough Trade & Investment may have been brought into disrepute. This week...
Read full storyDrug Of The Vampire: Chapter 5: A Day In the Office
Previous chapters: Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. "Mr Higgins, I presume" said Von Haelstrom, as he swept into the study, smiling widely and extending his long fingered hand in greeting. "Very good to make your acquaintance sir," said Higgins, slightly taken aback and sheepishly accepting the handshake. Being a country boy, he had never met a man of Von Haelstrom's soc...
Read full storyTwo Spoof Writers To Wed
The inevitable has transpired...two of our Spoof Writers are to be wed. We are not prepared to disclose the names of the two Spoofers at this point in time as they have not yet met face to face. They have been corresponding via PRIVATE MESSAGI...
Read full storyDanny Dyer to play East End hard man in new film
Movie news now, and in a marked departure from previous roles, Danny Dyer is expected to play a trash-talking, Cockerknee Geezer type in his latest film project. With the working title "Apples", after the Cockney rhyming slang "Apples and Pears" (st...
Read full storyGay Larry the Downing Street cat is pregnant!
London - And what's more those swollen feline raspberry-pink nipples will soon be lactating all over the PM's red boxes, officials warned this weekend. Billed as a neutered, de-flea'd, vaccinated, housetrained tom the Downing Street Pussy has test...
Read full storyAlex Pettyfer Explains Why He Will Not Remove His Ex-Girlfriend Emma Robert's Tattoo From His Right Wrist
UPPER TOOTING, England - Alex Pettyfer, a young English actor who first gained world wide acclaim when he appeared in the spy thriller Stormbreaker, was seen visiting one of his high school chums Harold Blenkinsopp who resides in Upper Tooting. Alex was spotted by a reporter for The Bees Knees News Agency Birmingham Cribworthy and asked about his relationship with American actress Dianna Agron.
Read full storyArafat Made Me The Man I Am Gaddafi Tells Israel
Tel Aviv - Libyan leader Colonel Gaddafi has told The Knesset what his terms are for the 2011 Miss Congeniality crown. Israeli Prime Monster Benjamin Netanyahu immediately sent for Sandra Bullock and some of Tiger Woods' slutty old castoffs. Ga...
Read full storyWar Of The Tombies: Chapter 1: First Strike.
Shards of sunlight pierced the make shift wooden shutters like long fingers, slowly moving, searching, sensing. Ed sat on the floor, his cheek pressed against the cold wall. Chunks of plaster missing in huge divets, a sign of the previous nights battle. As the beads of sweat formed on his brow he realised how hot it was in the city today. What day was it, he thought. What time? Date? Who kno...
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