London - And what's more those swollen feline raspberry-pink nipples will soon be lactating all over the PM's red boxes, officials warned this weekend.
Billed as a neutered, de-flea'd, vaccinated, housetrained tom the Downing Street Pussy has tested pregnant.
No 10 sources have also admitted that Larry's got chronic morning sickness and has chundered all over the priceless rugs.
In between gestation-fuelled six-hour catnaps Larry is gorging herself silly, grazing smoked salmon and foie-gras leftovers from sumptuous Downing Street dinners.
Where the actual act of fertilization took place remains a mystery and Battersea pet rehoming sources deny it was them.
"Looks like some rough trade from nearby Smith Square may have gangbanged Gay Larry two weeks ago," Whitehall street sweepers said today.
A gnarly weatherbeaten old mog nicknamed locally as Gary Glitter recently escaped from a SW1 cat pound and has been spreading its virulent seed ever since.
Meanwhile half the rodent population of Whitehall is also pregnant - and running rings round useless mogs not up to the job for which they were recruited.
"Much like Nick Clegg, he-he-he!"
