Written by Inhopeless

Sunday, 6 March 2011

LONDON - After Inhopeless decided to let his right-wing cousins Bob run Inhopeless Media Group for a day, he has found some... interesting news.

According to research done by Bob, SI units could be the number one killer of middle-class families.

Although the true middle-class is nothing like Bob says, here is what he says.

The middle-classes, who are mostly educated, distrust the metric system due to the harm in causes.

For example, John Smith was killed in a car crash last year when he mistook the speedometer's mph readings for km/h readings causing him to speed up to 200mph, instead of 200km/h (125mph).

Also, Sarah Whitingston was killed after she mistook the imperial measurements of her university friend as metric, causing her to make a 50m-long kite, instead of a 50ft-long (15m) long kite.

This reporter, me Bob, thinks that the metric system is just Brussels trying to murder our hard-working families.

For Inhopeless Media Group, this is Bob, Inhopeless's cousin.


In no way does Bob represent the views of IMG. If they did, we would have killed ourselves long ago.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Middle Class, Metric

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