LONDON - After Inhopeless decided to let his right-wing cousins Bob run Inhopeless Media Group for a day, he has found some... interesting news.
According to research done by Bob, SI units could be the number one killer of middle-class families.
Although the true middle-class is nothing like Bob says, here is what he says.
The middle-classes, who are mostly educated, distrust the metric system due to the harm in causes.
For example, John Smith was killed in a car crash last year when he mistook the speedometer's mph readings for km/h readings causing him to speed up to 200mph, instead of 200km/h (125mph).
Also, Sarah Whitingston was killed after she mistook the imperial measurements of her university friend as metric, causing her to make a 50m-long kite, instead of a 50ft-long (15m) long kite.
This reporter, me Bob, thinks that the metric system is just Brussels trying to murder our hard-working families.
For Inhopeless Media Group, this is Bob, Inhopeless's cousin.
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In no way does Bob represent the views of IMG. If they did, we would have killed ourselves long ago.
