Homoeopathy works!
The world of science has been rocked when the largest clinical trial of homoeopathy finalised it's data and published in the respected journal Nature. "I was astounded," said one local scientist, Hillary Dale, a long time homoeopathy critic. "I'm...
Read full storySolar eclipse claims Shah of Persia son suicide
Boston, Massachusetts - (Lunacies): Ten years ago an eclipsed full moon snaffled up the life of his drug addict sister Leila - in a seedy London hotel overdose. Today another powerful celestial aspect has seen the suicide of Alireza Pahlavi, young...
Read full storyTwins for Obamas; Wayne Rooney joins NFL; marriage for Tiger-Lady Gaga and divorce for Sarah Palin top 2011 psychic predictions
She's well-known for making her New Year's psych[ot]ic predictions. After which she hibernates for 6 weeks then is woken up by her followers. If they see her shadow another prediction is revealed with winter continuing for another 6 weeks. Now we...
Read full storyUS Sheriff blames Lindsay Lohan battery charger
Los Angeles - (DUI Aftershocks): Riverside Sheriff's Department said today a 'bugged' vibrator - er...cell phone! - battery charger is thought to be behind the latest Lindsay Lohan spat with rehab staff. The actress threw a tantrum at the Betty Fo...
Read full storyThe day the blackbirds fell out of the sky - The truth behind the phenomenon
People world-wide are wondering just why the thousands of red-winged blackbirds fell from the sky on Arkansas a few days ago. Stories are being fabricated as people try to understand what exactly did happen. The answer, according to bird-watche...
Read full storyPaul McCartney urges India to declare Vegetarian day as meat-eating Kashmiris pelt him with Holy Cow patties
Londonistan, Islamic capital of Englanistan: With no new hits on the horizon and no obsessed new wife with crazy causes to lead him by the nose, aging Beatle Paul McCartney is back to re-hashing old issues. Yesterday he urged India to declare a nati...
Read full story'Narcocorridos'- Dramatic Ditties Describing Dastardly Drug Cartel Doings
As though things weren't bad enough in Mexico with the war between the Army and the drug cartels, the drug dealers make up songs to glorify themselves. Known as 'narcocorridos', these ditties attempt to give honor and substance to their lives of narcotic running and selling (see the October issue of National Geographic). The songs were invented to give their sordid lives a higher, though...
Read full storyDriving convertibles with tops down can damage your health
Don't worry if you can't afford and expensive convertible. Recent research has discovered that riding in a convertible with the top down can damage your hearing. (This should come as no surprise, even if you do not have a PhD.) Most people who ca...
Read full storyLa Pelirroja Fue Hallada Descanso Del Puente Peatonal. Con Una Cuerda en Su Cuello. Sin Respirar.
Gabriela Elizabeth Muñiz Tamez, La Pelirroja Mas Fea, presunta lideresa de secuestradores hallada descano, su piel muy fría, del puente peatonal de la avenida Gonzalitos, frente a la colonia Mitras Norte en Monterrey, Nuevo Leon, estaba viva (un poqu...
Read full storyTSA fights back
It would seem that TSA is not happy with a growing list of airports and it seems like a Supreme Court battle may be in the offering. According to sources in the transportation industry, TSA is preparing to begin legal action against Airports such...
Read full storyJustin Bieber to Wed Betty White
Betty White, the daughter of Horace White and Tess White of Vernon Parish, is to be married Sunday to Justin Bieber, the son of Pattie Bieber and Jeremy Bieber of Bossier Parish. Blanche Dubois, sister of the bride, will marry the couple at the Moose...
Read full storyThe Return of "The Bachelor" - 30 Pretty Bachelorettes - Well, Okay Maybe Just 27 With 3 Semi-Pretty Ones
LOS ANGELES - It's the start of a brand new year and at ABC that means it's time to light up the set of The Bachelor. This year's lucky bachelor is none other than Brad Womack, who was also the lucky bachelor back in 2007. It seems that back then...
Read full storyNavy Spokesman: Raunchy Videos a Case of Bad Timing
In a hastily-called press conference, U.S Navy spokesman Ralph Bankton stated that while the raunchy videos filmed aboard the Naval destroyer USS Enterprise may be considered in bad taste, they were part of a carefully orchestrated public relations c...
Read full storyDead people to pay VAT
The Government has announced that dead people will have to pay VAT on the amount of time it takes them to decompose. In a final attempt to balance the books, every person that dies after Wednesday 5th April will pay a VAT accredited tax levy on th...
Read full storyGordon Ramsay - Pie Face!
Fans of TV chef Gordon Ramsay have been shocked by pictures of the legendary foul-mouth in the tabloids. He was photographed with his wife Tana and their kids out walking with David and Victoria Beckham and their family. Close-ups revealed his...
Read full storyNBC Announces Launch of Hill Street Brews
While NBC prepares for it's Spring and Summer programming schedule, a new, almost familiar but misleading title will join the lineup this Spring as a test for a spot in their regular Fall schedule. Hill Street Brews. Not your expected, overplayed...
Read full storyFlorida's Orange Crop in Peril, Brazil Makes Lemonade
Still uncertain as to the extent of the frost damage expected from Florida's current orange crop, Brazil, the world's largest exporter of lemons, is preparing to fill the citrus void with a U.S. national advertising campaign featuring lemonade as an...
Read full storySteele Defends Flaccid Record
Attempting to maintain a firm grip on his post as the Republican National Committee Chairman, Michael Steele continues to "fluff" the press and his constituents, trying to convince them that he really is the strongest, firmest, and most engorged man...
Read full storyMoon Crashes Into Sun Then Disappears
Horror in the UK this morning as astronomy call centres were swamped with calls relating that the the moon and the sun had actually collided within a minute of daybreak. There seems to be general agreement that the sun appears to have swallowed the m...
Read full storyTramps scouring Exeter's rubbish mountains lambast Jamie Oliver
Tramps scouring the many rubbish mountains that have formed across Exeter due to a lack council collections over the Christmas period have voiced outrage at the number of unwanted Jamie Oliver '30 minute cook books' being recovered. They say the p...
Read full story'Biblical Floods' in Australia, but Great Britain is 'drowning' in 'Biblical Rubbish'!
Rubbish Tip Island, off the North Coast of the EU$$R: England may have retained the Ashes in Cricket in Australia where there have been 'Biblical floods', but Great Britain is 'drowning' in 'Biblical Rubbish! All over the British Isles in gardens...
Read full storySepp Blatter appoints members of new football anti-corruption committee
Fifa president Sepp Blatter has announced the members of its new anti-corruption committee set to become fully operational in mid 2011. Mr Blatter has appointed some of the most well-known and influential individuals from around the world who will...
Read full storyArkansas Mystery now being called a Massacre
In Arkansas, there are so many questions and no answers to the mysterious death of thousands of birds and fish that a host of investigators have been brought in from all branches of law enforcement. At a Press Conference today they discussed some of...
Read full storySupermarket introduces Clip-on Trolley Klaxon Horns
One of Britain's major high street supermarket chains is to make their 'hire a horn' option available to customers regularly following 'positive' results of trials carried out in selected branches during the run-up to Christmas. The klaxon horns...
Read full storyUK should brace for a new Earthquake Swarm
During the late nineties the UK was rocked repeatedly by earthquakes measuring up to four on the Richter scale, leading to the creation of the new term "Earthquake Swarm". Back then, the earthquakes were centred on a previously unknown fault under Sa...
Read full storyClean as a whistle
Scientists at Manchester University of Science and Technology have asked that the phrase "Clean as a Whistle" be changed to Clean as Anything Other than a Whistle after a month long study into the bacteria that grow inside whistles. "Whistles are...
Read full storyUnemployed Schwarzenegger does a Stallone and is to star as an OAP musclebound Conan the Barbarian!
Arnie Schwarzenegger is unemployed and Californian's are over the moon. Their latest senator was sworn in and Arnie sworn out with banana skins and rotten apples (all local products) following rapidly behind him. Now Arnie has been observing his o...
Read full storyEngland hit by 2 earthquakes!
As Great Britain woke up after its extra day off they were hit by 2 earthquakes. The first was registered in Yorkshire and measured 3.6 on the Richter scale, caused hardly any harm or structural damage, but Grannies who were thrown out of their be...
Read full storyInteresting Q & A's on Radio Broadcasting Facts
Q) Which BBC radio programme that has lost the highest percentage of listeners over the last 25 years? A) The BBC Inland coastal waters weather forecast: Not surprisingly this programme has lost 74% of it's listeners, the same percentage of fishing boats lost in Britain's fleets over the years of broadcasting. Q) What is the most humorous of all the comedy stations ever introduced? A)...
Read full storyPersonal Definitions of VAT
VAT: Value Added Tax By: Members of Her Majesties Government & Opposition VAT: Vastly Altruistic Tax. By: Inchcock Chambers - Spoofer VAT: Verifies Apocryphal Tories By: N. Obend - Chairman of the Outer Peruvian Pregnant Kangaroo Appreciation Society, Nottingham branch VAT: Ah, that would be the value added tax that we promised we would not increase before we got...
Read full storyiPhone Sleep Alarm Malfunctions, World Rejoices
Thanks to a technical glitch in their iPhone sleep alarms, many iPhone users have gotten up late the last few days. Although many of these folks are furious about the troubles this has caused THEM, most of the REST of the world is rejoicing. A...
Read full storyThe Arkansas Mysterious Mystery: First Birds Crash To The Ground, Then Fish Drown, And Now Beavers Aren't Giving A Dam(n)!
LITTLE ROCK - People all over the country are sitting on front porches, backyard decks, and driveways and wondering what in the world did the state of Arkansas do to cause such a environmental upheaval as it is currently witnessing. The Lieutenant...
Read full storyThe filth and ignorance of the Catholic Church exposed
New York- Hundreds of ignorant peasants who regularly attend Catholic mass to listen to the fables of homosexual priest were exposed to hepatitis while receiving communion on Christmas Day, the holiest of blessed days. The department of health wa...
Read full storyDemi Lovato Has Organized The Patients At Her Rehab Clinic Into A Patients Union
LOS ANGELES - Left Coast Mirror Magazine is reporting that teenage singing sensation Demi Lovato has organized the resident patients at The Henry and Betty Ford Rehab Clinic into a patients union. The executive director of the rehab clinic Cayenne...
Read full storyThe Onward March of Science
VIENNA - Iran has invited Russia, China, the European Union and its allies among the Arab and developing world to tour its nuclear sites, in an apparent move to gain support ahead of a new round of talks with six world powers. The UN Security Cou...
Read full storyTwo More Women File Lawsuits Against Brett Favre: It Looks Like "Frisky" Favre Just Keeps On Stepping In It
NEW YORK CITY - One of the NFLs greatest quarterbacks of all-time just seems to keep on stepping in a pile of dog do every time he turns around. And this time Brett "Frisky" Favre, 63, is being sued by two former New York Jets massage therapists C...
Read full storyRussell Brand and Katy Perry Buy Jesse James' 3,000 Acre Texas Cattle Ranch 'The Blue Tattoo'
SAN ANTONIO - Newlyweds Russell Brand and Katy Perry have just purchased the 3,000 acre cattle ranch, The Blue Tattoo Ranch from Sandra Bullock's ex-husband, Jesse James. The working cattle ranch is located 40 miles south of San Antonio and is equ...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Offers a Leg to Save Zsa Zsa Gabor
Los Angelos - Upon her release from the Betty Ford Clinic on probation today Lindsay Lohan was heard saying, "I must go to her!" "Her" meaning Zsa Zsa Gabor. Upon hearing that the ailing Gabor sister might lose her leg, the new and improved Lindsa...
Read full storyNew Research Confirms People With No Arms Give Lousy High Fives
Cambridge, MA - Researchers at Harvard have published the results of an extensive ten year, one hundred million dollar study. The findings confirm long held beliefs. Turns out people with no arms cannot give a decent high five. Researchers stu...
Read full storyEarthquake hits northern England - Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones share their story
Earthquake hits northern England. Tremors felt for miles around. A small earthquake hit northern England today. Takwana Smith and friend Anitakapta Jones, both of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough, were just sitting down to lunch at their favourite restaurant in Morrisons, Berwick Hills branch. Our reporter was inside the store following up on an unrelated story when the 'quake hit. When things...
Read full storyAncient record of December 21, 1638 Lunar Eclipse Found
Local outdoor enthusiasts ran across what turns out to be an ancient Indian text while snipe hunting in the Horse Heaven Hills just north of Paterson, Washington. Bruce and Velma Ferberger (of Goldendale) thought they had helped Mother Nature by...
Read full story