Amy Winehouse Claims That NYC Bedbugs Ate Her Boob Implants
Singer Amy Winehouse told reporters today that she was suing a New York City hotel because, during the night, some bedbugs came out and ate her boob implants! "I have called my lawyer and he's coming over right away", she told reporters in Manhatt...
Read full storyPiers Morgan Announces That He Has "A List of Banned People" Who Will Never Appear On His New Show
NEW YORK CITY - Piers Morgan has not even completed his first week on his new show Piers Morgan Tonight and he has already announced that he has "A List of Banned People." According to Tittle Tattle Tonight the London native talk show host who rep...
Read full storySpuds to Lincolnshire
Championship football club Tottering Hot Spuds are considering a move to outbid Lincoln City for their stadium. Lincoln are unhappy at this bid to take over their 5000 capacity stadium but reports are that Spuds are desperate to find or steal a fa...
Read full storyOutrage as Oldham by-election candidates were all straight
There has been outrage in the gay community as it has been revealed that all the political candidates in the Oldham by-election were actually straight. The gay community were up-in-arms at what it described as "deliberate misleading" from the gove...
Read full storyFergie joins liverpool
Liverpool's owners have signed a new manager following Kelley Kanglish failing to win the league, cup and the parking fine in his first 3 games in charge. The singer, Fergie, was said to be surprised and excited about being named football manager.
Read full storyGalgar's top tips...or...ways to stretch the shrinking pound
Most motorists are aware that shutting off the engine when stationary for prolonged periods, in traffic jams or similar situations helps cut fuel consumption as does driving at a constant fifty six mph on motorways or main roads. However, those are not the only ways. Why not try coasting whenever the opportunity arises and you may improve fuel consumption between three and five mpg. Give it a g...
Read full storyBritain is becoming a very angry place
Official figures released by the Department of Figures in London last night revealed the uncomfortable truth - that Britain is becoming a very angry place. The DOF investigation into the phenomena was originally sparked by a wave of scare stories,...
Read full storySay the "k" word in Congress, you get yourself a noogie
Congress has gotten tough on any person saying the "k" word (kill) while in the Congressional House. According to a memorandum that was handed to the press, members of Congress have enacted the following series of punishments for a "k" word violatio...
Read full storyThe Vampire Twilight Diaries
Today it was decided that the producers of hit TV show The Vampire Diaries would make a collabaration episode starring the cast of the film Twilight . So far confirmed to appear are Ian Somerhalder, LOST ( 2004-2010),Pulse (2006 ) and The Rules of Attraction (2002) Nina Dobrev, Degrassi (2001) and Never Cry Werewolf ( 2008 ) and Ashley Greene , ( The Twilight Saga : Eclipse (2010), The...
Read full storyThe Torvill and Dean Skate Way To Wictory at Olympics
The dancing duet, The Torvill and Dean from Grand Britain, wins golden medal for the dancing on the slippery ice competition at Olympics. The Torvill - the fat man-shaped one - said she was "wery happy". The Dean said something our interpreter...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Defends Justin Bieber
Singer and sexy performer (of late), Miley Cyrus has come to the rescue of young singer Justin Bieber while talking to reporters in Los Angeles last night. "I'm tired of you guys picking on Justin Bieber", she told reporters. "You treated me the...
Read full storyPresident Thatcher Welcomes Slubal Fwends
Missus Thatcher has granted a wery warm welcome to her fwends from Mother Russia at a feast in the shed The Queen lives in with nice husband. Shaking her firm handbag and nodding friendly to all, President Thatcher told interpreter man that all th...
Read full storyGoden Grobes - Thai Tannic
Astonishing news just in that James Cameron has bowed to Far Eastern pressure and will film a Chinese version of the already world famous disaster film. Interest has been huge and actors already signed up. Dannii Minogue will play the Captain,...
Read full storyUrinal Games the Rage in Tokyo
Video games in Japan are aiming to improve the accuracy of Japanese men when it comes to the art of pissing accurately. As a third of Japanese men prefer to urinate sitting down, when their power of accuracy is unknown and women also, with a few e...
Read full storyMan City's Mario Balotelli (who?) big mouth, big head, big wallet, big balls, pea brain!
Manchester City's Italian motor-mouth has been telling the press about his opinions and man do they stink. This mega-mouthed Italian soccer player has won absolutely nothing in his career. OK last year his team Inter Milan won everything, but he w...
Read full storyUnemployment: Good News
Just when the Government was beginning to look somewhat unstuck great news came through which should save the Coalition. Unemployment is UP and the trend is for more. Shares in the City went to an all time high as the army of jobless guaranteed fe...
Read full storyColombian police smash pigeon drug cartel!
A group of pigeon drug couriers has been caught "pigeon-footed" delivering drugs to Colombian prisons. Regular flights from the Colombian coca fields to the prison were no problem for the pigeons, they're all "Homeys". The only problem was that t...
Read full storyStella Hudgens Sick Of Fame!
Stella Hudgens, sister of (High School Musical Star, Vanessa Hudgens) has reportedly QUIT 'regular' state school to be home-schooled in her LA home. Allegations flooded the Hudgens family last week as Stella, reportedly flipped out in front of pa...
Read full storyWe Live In the Future. Enjoy It
Remember that Qwest commercial? Circa 1999-2000? A guy walks into a diner in the middle of a desert, spots a jukebox in the corner, and asks the owner what's on it. "Every song ever recorded by every artist, ever." That commercial made me sh-t a puppy. I could not imagine a future where every song ever recorded is available on a jukebox. In fact, I thought it to be hyperbole. Fast-forwar...
Read full storyPiers Morgan Has Sights Set on Filling Regis Philbin's Vacancy Also
Piers Morgan recently took over the top spot on CNN when he replaced Larry King and the Larry King Live show with his own Piers Morgan Tonight. After twenty-five years, Larry King called it quits and welcomed Piers Morgan to take a stab at doing what...
Read full storyTwitter spoof Oxford Street shootist still on the run
London - (True Grits): A fictitious gunman's rampage through Oxford Street has continued unabated as thousands of microbloggers got in on the act. By lunchtime today large sections of the shopping enclave were cordoned off with terrified office wo...
Read full storyUtah Man Bowled Over by Reception
Special to INS - Eighty-seven-year-old Dummer Bergsteiger, a resident of La Sal, a tiny town in the mountains of southeast Utah, was surprised to find that "super bowl" referred to the football spectacular of that name: "I thought it meant that overs...
Read full storyRed-Necked Southern Peckers Returning in Droves to Washington
Just as the Swallows have been returning on March 19 to the Mission at San Juan Capistrano in California, so too is the red-necked southern Pecker returning to Washington, D.C. this year in record numbers. In the past, the Peckers' numbers decline...
Read full storyRedskins Owner Daniel Snyder Getting Obese from Eating Too Many Contracts
Redskins' owner Daniel Snyder has reportedly gained over 400 pounds since he first purchased the Redskins organization in 1999, by eating the remainder of contracts of players and coaches that he has fired throughout his tenure as owner. Snyder's ob...
Read full story"The Bachelor" - Brad Keeps 14 And Says "See Ya" To 3
LOS ANGELES - Brad "The Cad" Womack proved to the millions of viewers of ABCs The Bachelor that Michael Bublé and Harry Connick, Jr., have nothing to worry about. The Bachelor and Ashley Hebert (pronounced: HAL-I-BUT) sang Vice-President Joe Biden...
Read full storyRepeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" & Hormonal Change in Liberals Blamed for Hoarding of Popular Tampons!
A run on a popular brand of non-applicator type tampons has put far left liberals in a 'bloody mess' according to Chris Matthews, the talking head of CNBC's 'anchor' show, "Hairball" in a late night rant attributed to his panties bunching up in his...
Read full storyChina's Hu causes White House dog chaos
In chaotic scenes today, Chinese premier Hu Jintao accidentally let President Obama and Vice President Joe Biden's dogs out on to the White House lawn. As the dogs escaped from the White House reception, it emerged that Obama had asked Michelle Obama and his daughters to call the Chinese delegation names. The diplomatic chaos was caught on tape and The Spoof has got hold of a transcript.
Read full storyGay Guys Get Their Back Doors Kicked In
Police in Greater Manchester are investigating an incident in the Urmston area of the city in which a gay couple were awoken during the early hours of Thursday morning to the exhilarating sound of their back doors being kicked in. Larry Sabu, 20,...
Read full storyAlabama Governor Waits Almost Twenty Minutes Before Offending Entire State.
Alabama Governor Robert J. Bentley waited nearly half-an-hour after being sworn in to office before delivering a speech that alienated the entire state. "Anybody here today who has not accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, I'm telling you, you're...
Read full storyHarakiri fears for Queen on 75th anniversary of King George V's euthanasia
Sandringham, Norfolk - (Lèse Majesté): Palace officials have taken the precaution of removing sharp objects, toxins and non-prescription stimulants that have propped up her useless - and largely fictitious - reign. Fears that Queen Elizabeth may t...
Read full storyKatie Price - Alex was a mistake
Kate Price today admitted marrying Alex Reid was a huge mistake. She said: 'I am not usually one for mistakes but Alex was not right for me. All he wanted was his picture in the paper, to be on TV and sex up the wrong un.' Reid on the other han...
Read full storyManufacturer To o.b. Users: They'll Be Back In Stores Soon, So Stop Being So Whiny and Go Make Us A Sandwich
Premenopausal women throughout the country are forced to pay black-market prices --or become petty criminals-- after the unannounced disappearance of o.b. tampons from store shelves. Drugstore shelves have been mysteriously empty of o.b. nonapplic...
Read full storyElton or David could be father of child - Whose sperm was fastest?
Elton John has revealed that neither David Furnish nor he know who the Father of baby Zach is. John said: 'I believe David must be the father, because it stands to reason he is a better swimmer than I am so his sperm must be also.' Furnish on the...
Read full storyDo Crimewatch reconstructions help?
Crimewatch, the Reality TV show for criminals, has been on the air now for twenty years. During this time, they have helped police close many cases, so they claim. One of the more popular methods for enlisting the help of the public is to show a 'reconstruction' using actors that bare a passing resemblance to the victim. Originally, these showed the information that the polcie had, last movemen...
Read full storyJapanese erections to be held
Japanese politics is not known for its radicalism and dynamism but it looks like this is all going to change. Quoting directly from our embedded source in the Japanese "National Unity" ruling party (slogan: Lets all do it together, let's do it now...
Read full storyTunisian Officials Blame American Jazz for Recent Woes
Struggling to bring order to what has been described by political analysts and local reporters to be a "civil war torn country", Tunisian officials still loyal to deposed president Zine al-Abinidine Ben Ali, have now blamed American Jazz for the coun...
Read full storyRussian spies arrested in European Bank for Deconstruction & Embezzlement police probe
London - (Gotcha! News): Four high-ranking Russians have been stripped of diplomatic immunity following a major police bust of the EU's flagship gravy train. Russia's Economic Embezzlement Ministry board representative Yelena Kotova was named toda...
Read full storyBerlusconi hates French Cock
The arrival of the large blue French cock on the North plinth at Trafalgar Square has not been greeted with unanimous approval from all the European leaders. In Brussels, Silvio Berlusconi paying a flying visit to have his shoe heels raised, grabb...
Read full storyMeeting women for Physicists
There is nothing trickier in life than finding The One. Not Neo from the Matrix, but a partner with which to spend one's life; a soul-mate. The One is often typified by a strong attraction, and it is here where we can look for help in physics with the laws of electromagnetism. Faraday's law of induction (or in this case, introduction) states that moving a magnet induces electricity. Or to put i...
Read full storyWatered down measures at cheap alcohol - Government feared more student riots
Taking a few minutes to speak to the press outside 10 Downing Street this morning before heading off to Parliament, Prime Minister David Cameron stopped to provide a short explanation for why the coalition government had decided to only impleme...
Read full storyShort men demand the right to wear high heels without ridicule
The Japanese Institute of Short Men have approached the Japanese government to make it illegal to ridicule their members for wearing high heels. "In a nation typified by shorter people," said Masahiko Nagamoto, sporting a glorious pair of four and...
Read full storyHare Club for Men Launches IPO at Wall Street Opening Bell
Starting out as modest but private trapping grounds and regional furrier business in Arkadelphia, Arkansas, the Hare Club for Men will announce their initial public offering this morning at the Wall Street opening bell. Now famous for creating rea...
Read full storyJewish Council solve UK debt crisis
Rabbi David Cohenron, leader of the Jewish Council of Great Britain, has outlined plans to bring an end to the recession and put the United Kingdom back on the world map. Speaking outside the council chambers, Rabbi Cohenron stated; "Oye vot a...
Read full storyOfficial - Water to become more valuable than oil and land by 2020!
It's now official - as broadcast this morning on BBC Radio Four's morning News Briefing programme, water will become more valuable than oil and land by 2020. Activities revealed by our Spoof Gazette reporter, directly from the Stock Exchange news...
Read full storyTaoiseach Brian Cowen survives Twitter Confidence Vote
Taoiseach Brian Cowen yesterday survived a confidence vote to remain as leader of Ireland's ruling Fianna Fáil party. Cowen, widely credited for bringing about Ireland's recent economic situation, has become the first party leader in the world to...
Read full storyJonathan Ross Reveals Daughter Is Gay... Or Something
Britain was underwhelmed in waves of apathy today as the tabloid Press reported on Jonathan Ross's 'outing' of his daughter. Broadcasting personality "Wossy" has two daughters and a son. Asked on a radio programme on Tuesday how he would feel if o...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens Denies The Kristen Stewart Lesbian Rumors
VENICE BEACH - Left Coast Mirror Magazine is reporting that the rumors of an intimate relationship that were reported in The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette between movie starlets Vanessa Hudgens and Kristen Stewart are totally false. LC2M Editor A...
Read full storyRicky Gervais Has Agreed To Be Sarah Palin's 2012 Presidential Campaign Manager
WASILLA, Alaska - Immediately after hosting the 68th Annual Golden Globe Awards in Los Angeles, Ricky Gervais flew to Wasilla, Alaska to meet with Sarah Palin. Palin had seen Gervais in action on the award show and right away she knew that he was...
Read full storyGrandma dies of heart attack after penis pictures appear on iPhone
An 85year old Seattle area grandmother died of a heart attack Tuesday after receiving an anonymous email of an erect penis. Family members say they bought her the new phone after she accidentally flushed hers down the toilet during a family party.
Read full storyRegis Philbin of "Live With Regis And Kelly" Is Retiring and Rush Limbaugh Will Take His Place
NEW YORK CITY - It is now officially official, Regis Philbin, the Regis of Live With Regis and Kelly is following in the footsteps of his hero and mentor Larry King and retiring. Philbin, who is 79, but looks 49, or so he says has decided to hang...
Read full storyPiers Morgan Interviews Oprah Winfrey Who Surprisingly Calls Herself "A Former Colored Girl"
NEW YORK CITY - British journalist Piers Morgan's new show Piers Morgan Tonight premiered with his first guest Oprah Winfrey. The show which was shot in a Motel 6 room in downtown Queens has no audience, no cue cards, no visual Groucho Marx Microp...
Read full storyElvis Presley Hated Warren Beatty!
After several tabloids told the public that rock & roll legend Elvis Presley hated the Beatles John Lennon because of Lennon's anti-war, pacifist views, our reporters have discovered that Elvis wasn't exactly fond of actor Warren Beatty either.
Read full storyWikiLeaks Reports on PSL Virus Development
The Top Secret Pint Sized Leader (PSL) Project has been overshadowed by the Stuxnet computer worm performing a successful cyber attack on Iran's nuclear development capabilities. The PSL Project was initiated in 2005, at a hidden multinational lab...
Read full storyManiac goes mad in public place
A man, described as a maniac by neighbours, police officers and security guards appeared at Norwich Magistrates Court today, accused of going mad in public. The man, who cannot be named due to reporting restrictions imposed by the court, along wit...
Read full storyGOP Leaders Reveal Their Vision Of Health Care For Americans
Washington D.C. - Taking a break from the busy legislative session going on inside, Speaker of the House John Boehner lit up a cigarette on the steps of the Capitol Building and expanded on the Republican Party's idea of what health care should look...
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