Galgar's top tips...or...ways to stretch the shrinking pound

Funny story written by galgar

Wednesday, 19 January 2011

Most motorists are aware that shutting off the engine when stationary for prolonged periods, in traffic jams or similar situations helps cut fuel consumption as does driving at a constant fifty six mph on motorways or main roads.

However, those are not the only ways. Why not try coasting whenever the opportunity arises and you may improve fuel consumption between three and five mpg. Give it a go and watch the revs drop when the gears are disengaged as you merrily roll along. Lower revs equals less fuel's only common sense. Beats me why Cammi and Cleggi failed to think of this one.

Let's have no more of those complaints about the frustrating 20mph speed limits imposed in many estates and towns because they can actually save you money. Stop avoiding them like the plague and get right into them. Head for those horrid little 20 signs and take full advantage of them.

For those hooked on diesel, find a friendly hard up farmer who will sell you the odd few gallons of T.V.O (tractor vaporising oil) and save few quid.

For dismayed drunks and alcoholics facing yet another unfair rise in the cost of their favourite beverages, turn to home brew or make your own still, it's quite easy. You could even flog the odd bottle and make a profit.

The new austerity moves could even mean a bonus for the overburdened NHS when the morbidly obese can't afford to eat so bloody much.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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