Amy Winehouse Claims That NYC Bedbugs Ate Her Boob Implants

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Wednesday, 19 January 2011

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Singer Amy Winehouse told reporters today that she was suing a New York City hotel because, during the night, some bedbugs came out and ate her boob implants!

"I have called my lawyer and he's coming over right away", she told reporters in Manhattan, including our own Chester Ingraham. "I mean, look at me. I'm as flat chested as that poor little country singer."

How did she know it was bedbugs?

"Lookee here. I caught three of the (Beep). I bet they are full of that gel stuff. I should have known better and stayed at someplace cheap. You know, where you hear the moaning and the bed springs all night. But no, I got to go to a Four Star Bedbug Palace."

An attorney then showed up but it was for the hotel, The Wall Dwarf!

"What the...Wall Dwarf? I thought this was the 'Asstoria'. You changed your sign since last night", remarked Winehouse.

"Some of the lights were out. Happens all the time", stated the attorney. "The Hotel is not responsible."

"I give up. You're ambulance chasers all of you. I should have known something was up when they asked me to sleep in the nude facing the nun and priest painting."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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