The dancing duet, The Torvill and Dean from Grand Britain, wins golden medal for the dancing on the slippery ice competition at Olympics.
The Torvill - the fat man-shaped one - said she was "wery happy".
The Dean said something our interpreter could not comprehend.
Dancing poetically to the meaningful music, The Torvill and Dean did twists and turns galore and entertained many children present.
A lucky cripple boy from Slubal, who was wisiting his sick whore mother, said a fun time was had by him.
He enjoyed eating sticky toffee apples which organisers had kindly offered to crowd.
In honour of the great wictory, we are told that Grand Britain will sacrifice wirgins and a thousand sheep.
The willage of Slubal has asked to be twinned with The Torvill and Deans town and await a response in parchment before the bomb detonates.