Danger Mouse Disputes Rasta Mouses UN Appointment In Egypt
The diplomatic world came to a shuddering halt today as Danger Mouse came out of his long standing exile to oppose the appointment of elected UN delegate Rasta Mouse. Danger Mouse was on assignment when I called, but I spoke to his faithful assis...
Read full storyScousers steal Andy Carroll's ponytail
Britain's most expensive Geordie, Andy Carroll has had his trademark ponytail stolen on his first day in Liverpool. The 23 year old from Byker Grove in Newcastle was surrounded by a gang of curly haired, moustached, shell suit wearing stereotypes...
Read full storyLocal Man Left Bloody & Beaten after Encounter with Dental Hygienist over Language Barrier!
A Local Man, a semi articulate and part time satire writer, was left speechless after a mind numbing encounter with a dental hygienist today which left him bloody and wishing for a kidney stone attack instead. Melvin Wordsmithe, a mild mannered r...
Read full storyHalliburton Share Surge Linked To Egypt
Changes in the stock market have indicated that American de-reconstruction company Hallibertun are preparing for a major venture in the Nile region. Some speculation points toward a hydro electricity plant on the Nile, while others have suggested...
Read full storyJackie Collins...Exclusive Interview.
Takemi Pantsoff of The Vagina Observer secured the following exclusive interview with famed novelist Jackie Collins on the eve of the release of her new book "Isabella". "We met by the enormous heart-shaped pool of Jackie's $30 million mansion in Beverly Hills. She lay on a low recliner in her black swimsuit and stared at a blue sky as she answered my questions. Periodically, she would...
Read full storyHelp For Lib Dems Announced
A Parliamentary group for stressed out Liberal Democrat members of the Coalition Government is to be launched tonight, with Vince Cable as its President. The group, named FreakingOut, was created with the advice of famed psychiatrist Dr Milton Ber...
Read full storyRegulator to Investigate X Factor Complaints
The media watchdog is to investigate 2,750 complaints about Cheryl Cole's accent in December's X Factor Final. More than 17.2 million viewers saw former painter and decorator Matt Cardle win the 2010 competition. But investigators will have to...
Read full storyRasta Mouse To Head Off Egyptian Riots
The UN today confirmed that it will be sending a peace delegation to counter unrest in the Egyptian capital Cairo. Although tensions are running extremely high in the country due to the civil uprising aimed at removing the current unpopular Presi...
Read full storyBarbie Doll Is In Her 50's -BEWARE- COUGAR ALERT!!
Barbie doll is now well into her 50's. She sure doesn't look it. She looks like she's either discovered the Fountain of Youth or had her whole body Botoxed. Of course it helps when you get all your plastic surgery the day you are made. It is also fortunate when all your exquisite feminine contours are molded into their enticing proportions. It must be a bit rough, though, when you are only one yea...
Read full storyFuture News: Triple-Dimensional-Way Crash Occurs
(Published 2060) - LAYER 22, BIRMINGHAM - A 487-car pile-up between the vetipass traffic and the orbitalpass on layer 22 ends up with 198 dead and 436 injured. The collision occurred when a car from Layer 21 vertijumped up into orbitalway traffic,...
Read full storyKatie Price and Alex Reid Blamed for The Fall of Egypt
Katie Price and Alex Reid have tonight been blamed for the fall of Egypt. This news was released earlier on today, as the riots in Cairo began to eat away at the infrastructure of the once great civilisation. The accusation was made by Abdul Kh...
Read full storyBarack Obama Deals Blow To Egyptian Democracy
Plans for a lasting democracy in Egypt were dealt a mortal blow today as President Obama landed in the countries capital Cairo today. The President, who has failed to give any further announcements since his recent white house address that shocke...
Read full storyMP Actually Has Worthy Idea
LONDON - At Westminster, something incredible happened. An MP stood up and asked Parliament to pass a law. Sharon Hodgson is the MP who has launched a private member's bill in the House of Commons, which apes a law that already exists and seems to...
Read full storyHow to: Write How to Articles
Want to write a how to article? Well,this is the guide for you! Written by the team at Inhopeless Literary Solutions (TM) (a subsidy of Inhopeless Corp.(TM)), this will be the only guide. This is the real guide. All the other guides are just imitations. 1) Think of a cool name for a how to article. There would be a suggestion, but then again, we have writers' block, and even if we did, we would...
Read full storyHoliday camps to take over UK youth jails!
British youths being sent to jail for different crimes just can't wait; especially after hearing the news that Holiday Camps are taking over the running of the jails. It seems that many people are criticising the way youth jails are run and have a...
Read full storyHoward Stern's Phychiatrist Caught With His Fingers in the Cookie Jar
An insider working at the Dr.'s office that Howard goes to for psycho analysis has revealed that Howard's Doctor is a constant reader and sometime contributor to the The Stern Fan Network. Why would it make any difference that Howard's Doctor read...
Read full storyWhy Have Charlie Sheen's Angels Talked To Everyone?
As usual "The Teflon Actor" Charlie Sheen has dodged another bullet. His Maadam admitted to having the girls at Charlie's house stash the drugs before authorities arrived. Everyone is asking why Charlie Sheen's Maadam and various prostitutes and p...
Read full storyThe Real Reason Justin Bieber Will Not Be Allowed To Compete On This Season's 'Dancing With The Stars'
HOLLYWOOD - The overhead lights, the stage lights, the floor lights, and the strobe lights have all been taken out of storage as the producers of Dancing With The Stars prepare for another season of the reality show. And the big question is why in...
Read full storyAnn Summers Boss Poisoned
A woman has appeared in court, charged with attempting to poison sex toy tycoon Jacqueline Gold. Alison Cox, 33, is charged with contaminating the food of Ms Gold, the Ann Summers founder, with car screen wash. She was initially remanded on ground...
Read full storyCrossbow Cannibal, Stephen Griffiths - how many more did he kill?
Self styled Crossbow Cannibal, serial killer Stephen Griffiths is dying. Having been declared officially sane, the raving monster is being allowed to starve himself to death, in prison. Griffiths, convicted for the murders of Suzanne Blamires, Sus...
Read full storyAnderson Cooper Attacked In Cairo, Egypt - Says He Felt Like He Was In Detroit
CAIRO, Egypt - CNN talk show host and International spokesperson for Dos Equis Beer Anderson Cooper was verbally, physically, mentally, and even geographically attacked by an angry mob of angry mob members in downtown Cairo. Cooper, who with his s...
Read full storyIsle of Wight Woman Paints Door Green
A woman from the normally sedate village of Godshill on the Island has caused much upset and 'gnashing of teeth' according to the local Parish Council by the decision of local resident Emily Spurt to paint her front-door a vivid shade of green. E...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News-Newby villagers being innovative: Single Sock Pairing Social to take place in village hall
Members of Newby Women's Institute, Isle of Wight, have come up with a wonderful idea which they are putting into practice for the first time next Saturday. Tired of finding single socks in their washing machines and dryers, not knowing what to d...
Read full storyPariah Found Alive in Piranha Pond
Surprising most who found the man still figuratively alive and unscathed from the hundreds of omnivores surrounding him in a close-knit community of newspaper professionals, one fairly obtuse hack writer with good intent, emerged for the last time from the London journalist's favorite watering hole without so much as a nibble on his pinkie. Mr. Pat Wohm began adulthood as an above average Engli...
Read full storyInspector Barnaby Investigates the Mystery of the Missing Sock
Inspector Barnaby was called by Avon and Somerset police to help in the mystery of the missing sock. Local lass Jo was found naked in the snow minus one grey sock. The local police called in Inspector Barnaby to help them solve this intriguing mystery. The great man himself with his scrunched up creased old face like a scrunched up paper bag was glad to be brought in to the farce. He had b...
Read full storyFifth Avenue big oil couple plead The Fifth about Chelsea Clinton marriage meltdown
New York - (Shalom Slalom!): Was the Silk Stocking District's premier avenue constructed in honor of the Bill of Rights Amendment about self-incrimination? This week the theory is being sorely tested as newlyweds Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky...
Read full storyFootball players getting choosy over who they swap shirts with after matches
Some footballers are very choosy when it comes to deciding with whom to swap shirts following matches. "Well," said one Arsenal player, "fink abart i'..would YOU wanna swap sherts wi' someone who'd just finished tryin' to kick seven types o' shite...
Read full storyWoman Divorced For Eating A Chip
A Sussex woman was brutally divorced yesterday for simply eating some of her husbands lunch. Witnesses said that the couple arrived at the Parched Partridge public house and restaurant in seemingly high spirits, and purchased drinks at the bar, be...
Read full storyChinatown's Latest Fortune Cookie Messages
The Fortunate Sun Fortune Cookie Company of Chinatown, in honor of The Chinese New Year, has just released its latest fortune cookie messages for 2011. Hu Hu How, chief fortune cookie message writer, was born and raised in China. He attended the prestigious Chopsticks University in Shanghai where he met and married Suzi Yo Fung Chin, heiress to the Republican Rickshaw Company of Peking, China.
Read full storyGary Neville is to spend more time with his family
The big headline was that Gary Neville quit football completely at the age of thirty five having spent the past forty-two years playing for Manchester United. Most Manchester United fans were under the impression he had retired two years ago. "Was...
Read full storyRicky Gervais fans plead with him to host Golden Globes for a third time
Ricky Gervais is receiving thousands of emails, twitters, letters etc.,from fans begging him NOT to turn down the invitation to host the next Golden Globes. "He's the only reason I watch the Golden Globes," commented Spoof Writer Lady Godiva when...
Read full storyDa Vinci Fancied Sparky Shocker
As further evidence emerged that the worlds most famous painting 'The Mona Lisa' is actually a man, experts have indeed made significant findings to back that up. For centuries art lovers and critics alike have asked who the smiling lady is, and a...
Read full storyRicky Gervais Signs On To Host The 2012 Golden Globe Awards
HOLLYWOOD - Ricky Gervais who was a hit as the host of the recent 2011 Golden Globe Awards has just announced that he has already been approached about being the host for the 2012 Golden Globe Awards. Gervais who has been described as having a raz...
Read full storyVP Biden: Egypt Just Small Hump in the Road to Eventual Word Peace!
VP Joe Biden, struggling to over come his pronouncement just a few days ago that "Mubarak is not a Dictator" tried to downplay the US's sudden divorce from Egypt's strongman, an ally for over 30 years. "What I meant was," said Biden as he faced...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan's Latest Shocking Scandal - NecklaceGate!
HOLLYWOOD - Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton pretty much ran neck and neck in the 2010 Celebrity Publicity Race. "I'm Hot" Hilton backed off towards the end when told by her attorney that if she did not start acting like a normal person she was goi...
Read full storyFive a day is not enough
Nutritionists working for the Government's Ministry of Health and Safety have announced that the current recommendation of five portions of fruit and veg a day is not enough and it should be raised to eight or nine a day. "We have found that a dec...
Read full storyChelsea Clinton Dumped By Husband: She Moves In With Bill and Hillary - Marc Heads For Wyoming
NEW YORK CITY - The one and only child of President Bill Clinton and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has been dumped by her husband of six months Marc Mezvinsky. Mezvinsky, is a Wall Street investment broker and part time ski instructor. He is...
Read full storyUnited run out of money
Redditch United are looking for people willing to play their Conference North fixture on Saturday at home to Hyde. They are not picky, and will even supply the kit, though prospective players would need their own boots. "We'd need confirmation by...
Read full storyRemake of Carry On Cowboy Film to be made
Spoof Gazette reporter Dense Inchcock, has revealed that despite fears of ridicule, the Government is to produce a remake of the 1966 Carry on Cowboy film - using politicians as actors. (Which will help aleviate the politicians loss in expense fiddles, and help boost their already gigantic ego, although the pay will be well below their normal expectations) Original Character: Short Sighted Sher...
Read full storyWhich Way will Egypt Turn?
I am currently under fire in the centre of Cairo interviewing people who are shouting at me in Arabic. It is so exciting. This is history in the making and I am here to tell you all about it. I can pass you to my best mate, Braveheart Simpson, who is now heading a protest rally - Over to you Braveheart. Crackle, pop. Sorry Braveheart has bitten the dust. A sacrifice for freedom and well worth i...
Read full storyI Never Doubted West Ham
At the outset I wish to make it clear that misunderstood articles from my 'pen' on Spoof in recent months had nothing but praise for Avram Grant, the management and team at the Hammers. Those who claim my current views on this wonderful manager were not complimentary have simply got things wrong. Avram does not wear his heart on his sleeve but he has the heart of a lion. He takes the ignora...
Read full storyArgos and IKEA to merge
Retail giants Argos and IKEA have today announced plans to merge. Their new company is to be known as Mitbullkatalog in deference to their mutual origins. Strategically this move makes sense for both organisations. Customers of the new stores will...
Read full storyFat People Cause The Destruction Of Humanity
With news hitting the headlines this week that ambulances are to get bigger, to accommodate the bulging waist lines of the U.K public, at a great cost to the NHS, more shocks are to hit the beleaguered service this week. Tommy Windsail, spokesman...
Read full storyGreyhound Trainer Wins Trophy Race!
Champion greyhound trainer Wally Devon, 57, from Cornwall defied nature last night when he actually won the Invitational event at a top race meeting. The annual event is an invitation to 24 of the Country's best greyhound racers, the best 6 dogs race...
Read full storyMy Gun is Warm
We are proud to present an excerpt from My Gun is Warm, a previously unpublished story by acclaimed detective author Spickey Mullane. My Gun is Warm A Jack Hammer Mystery I threw my toothpick into the gutter and strolled down the street. There was a girl crying her eyes out. I handed her a handkerchief. "Here, babe," I said. "You'll probably ruin...
Read full storyManchester United Star Gary Neville Hangs Boots Up
Manchester United have announced in a statement on their website this morning that former captain Gary Neville has hung his boots up. Neville, 35, who has made a staggering 602 appearances for the Reds, decided to hang the boots up in the corner o...
Read full storyGary Neville (Manchester United) Retires After Unbelievable Career
Gary Neville, the Manchester United and former England right-back, has announced his retirement from professional game, and all connected with football will be sad to see him go. Neville, 44, joined United from school, aged 8, in 1956, and has ma...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen is the Teflon Actor
Charlie Sheen has recently had some problems stemming from his drug and prostitute addiction. Three nights ago after paying a budding porn star $30.000 for a mostly limp 5 minute encounter he experienced abdominal cramps and discomfort. 911 was a...
Read full storyMedical Marijuana to be Grown in White House Garden this Year
It is the first week of February, and for Michelle Obama, this means it is time to start planning the White House organic garden. While the garden will again contain a variety of fruits and vegetables as well as a few ornamental flowers, a new additi...
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