Crossbow Cannibal, Stephen Griffiths - how many more did he kill?

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Thursday, 3 February 2011

image for Crossbow Cannibal, Stephen Griffiths - how many more did he kill?
Banged up and gagging for a Big Mac - Griffiths

Self styled Crossbow Cannibal, serial killer Stephen Griffiths is dying. Having been declared officially sane, the raving monster is being allowed to starve himself to death, in prison.

Griffiths, convicted for the murders of Suzanne Blamires, Susan Rushworth, and Shelley Armitage in Bradford is suspected of having committed at least six more unsolved slayings in the Bradford/Sheffield areas. It is widely believed that he was trying to emulate, and surpass, the body count of Yorkshire Ripper, Peter Sutcliffe - currently a fat bloated bastard with a massive ego who is quite rightly locked up in Broadmoor.

The problem for detectives is that Griffiths isn't telling. They have been trying to elicit a death bed confession from the murderer that he was responsible for the murder of Claudia Lawrence, 35, who vanished in York in 2009.

Griffiths is saying nothing, but detectives hope that he will make a deathbed confession, believing privately that the deranged former criminology student will eventually spill the beans, in order to gain full recognition for his heinous acts.

So, how many more did the mentally deranged tosser kill?

Crime buff, Ledley Lidcap has his own views on the subject after having read a book about serial killers last year. He said:

"It's highly doubtful that the murders he was convicted of were the only ones he committed. He was a highly organized killer, an expert in body disposal, and he'd quite simply come to the end of the road. This explains why his final crime was so reckless. He simply didn't care any more. He'd clearly reached the point of no return. Like Jeffrey Dahmer.

"In my opinion, he's been doing this kind of thing for a long time, and now he's playing mind games with the police. It's just a pity that his mother didn't lie on the sick shithead and suffocate him at birth."

Police investigations continue.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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