Written by Herr Riballs

Thursday, 3 February 2011

A woman has appeared in court, charged with attempting to poison sex toy tycoon Jacqueline Gold.

Alison Cox, 33, is charged with contaminating the food of Ms Gold, the Ann Summers founder, with car screen wash. She was initially remanded on grounds of administering poison with "intent to annoy", although this has been dropped to the lesser charge of administering poison "with intent to make the victim somewhat cross."

Chief Superintendent Lynn GeriƩ said "This case could have turned out far worse. The victim could have easily asphyxiated on the concoction in her food. And whilst we accept Ms Gold works in the sex industry, it is still horrific to think she could have been choked by Cox."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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