Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 3 February 2011


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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image for Lindsay Lohan's Latest Shocking Scandal - NecklaceGate!
A photo of the $2,500 necklace that Lindsay Lohan mistakingly stole from the jewelry store.

HOLLYWOOD - Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton pretty much ran neck and neck in the 2010 Celebrity Publicity Race.

"I'm Hot" Hilton backed off towards the end when told by her attorney that if she did not start acting like a normal person she was going to find herself sharing a 15 by 20 foot cold, damp jail cell with Laquanda Washington, or Trixie Jo McTavish, or Eldorada Cuevas, or Ling Fu Chow, or Ginavina Mozzarella, or Pransing Woodchuck.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: In the interest of being an equal opportunity publication.]

So with Hilton delegating herself to the background that left LiLo Lohan all by herself up on the main stage. And La Lohan took advantage of the situation.

She found herself doing this and saying that and denying that she said that and insisting that she did not recall saying or doing this.

And after pissing of California Judge Marsha "The Pink Gavel" Revel with her vulgar x-rated fingernail message "LL" found herself headed for as they say in Chicago, "The Big House."

But after her lawyer did some fancy carnival sideshow barking to the guarders of the California legal system LiLo was allowed to go into rehab at The Henry and Betty Ford Rehab Clinic instead of going into The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women.

She served her time at the rehab clinic and now it appears that La Lohan has fallen off the celluloid wagon. She was caught on tape stealing a $2,500 necklace from The Casa De Bling Bling Jewelry Store in Venice Beach.

At first Lohan denied that the person in the video was her. But after video tape experts were able to match 17 of her freckles there was no doubt that it was in fact her.

Looney Lindsay insisted that she had stolen the necklace by mistake and that she would gladly pay for it.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Well duh and no shit Sherlock. It has always amazed me at how when someone tries to steal something and then they get caught that they immediately say that they will pay for it. Well why didn't they just pay for it to begin with?...I guess that's why they call it stealing huh?"]

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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