Kristen Stewart Nude Pole Dancing Shock
Sultry Twilight star Kristen Stewart flew back to Vancouver this morning, after enjoying a pre-Oscars party get-together with co-star Robert Pattinson. The pair were spotted smooching at the celeb-riddled bash at the fabulous Chateau Marmont hotel...
Read full storyThatcher on the way to rescue stranded Britons in Libya
It was confirmed today that Mark Thatcher the only son of Lady Thatcher, the scourge of UK primary industry set off last weekend to Libya.It has been revealed that Sir Mark and his convoy of six 4 x 4s and 2 buses left early Saturday morning headin...
Read full storyGeorge Harrison Meant "My Sweet Lord" as Tribute to Mo-Town: Patti Boyd
Former wife and still a huge fan of George Harrison, Patti Boyd told "Best in British Rock" yesterday that the late Beatle, George Harrison, meant his song's tune to be a tribute to the Mo-Town sound but was sued before he could talk to the people th...
Read full storyGas $4.00 In California: Obama Sez "Qu'ils mangent de la pond scum"
Like Marie Antoinette, Barack Obama showed his disdain for the plight of the common man today by dismissing any thought he might have of making the USA less vulnerable to rising oil prices by opening up drilling in Alaska and in the Gulf. When ask...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen: Secret Agent for Uncle Sam
In a surprising turn of events US Secretary of Defense, Robert M. Gates, has made this revelation: Charlie Sheen IS Captain America. Mr. Sheen alluded to his superpowers during a NBC interview when he stated that he has tiger blood flowing in hi...
Read full storyLibyan Cash Ends UK Money Worry
Chancellor George Osborne has appropriated Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi's cash pile in order to reverse the UK Government's proposed spending cuts. In a move calculated to win all party support, the Country's spending revisions have been scrapped...
Read full storyScience Admits Evolution Theory Wrong
Scientists at the WITSALTA convention in Denver, Colorado, U.S. of A., today agreed that the theory of evolution has been debunked (that doesn't mean kicked out of bed though). Delegates to the WITSALTA (What Is This All Stuff Leading To Anyway)...
Read full storyNina Dobrev's Back Injury Almost Causes Her to Hit Pedestrian
Nina Dobrev of television's "The Vampire Diaries" nearly ran over a pedestrian trying to cross the street in Chicago last Thursday and a bank camera caught it all on video. After watching the video at police headquarters, Dobrev and fellow actress...
Read full storyTaylor Lautner Admits to Hamming it up in "Eclipse", "New Moon" Episodes as They Had to Redo the Shooting
Actor Taylor Lautner has offered an official apology to Phil Tippett for ruining a scene in one of the Twilight movies. "I got bored awaiting this big scene in Eclipse that Phil Tippett was working very hard to get just right. He is a perfectionis...
Read full storySuBo fanatics launch own phone app!
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today launched their own phone app, SuBoStalker 1.0. The app, available for a variety of trendy over-priced phones, can find SuBo within a 5 mile radius. "It runs in the background sniffing...
Read full storyAshley Cole In Gun Incident?
Chelsea left back Ashley Cole is under investigation after an alleged shooting incident that left a job placement student with an air gun injury. The player, who was voted the best left back in the world last year, is alleged to have discharged a...
Read full storyThe Academy Awards: Kirk Douglas Announcing The Winner of The Best Supporting Actress Award Marks The First Time The Orchestra Actually Had To Play The "Hurry Up And Finish" Music
HOLLYWOOD - One of Hollywood's legends, Kirk Douglas, who during his career made close to 3,000 movies, was on hand at The 83rd Annual Academy Award Show. Douglas presented the award for Best Supporting Actress. But it was not in the usual...and t...
Read full storyMel Gibson regrets dating a Ukrainian
Mel Gibson said he regrets dating a pussy face Ukrainian critter because of all the hardship the creature has brought upon him. Gibson was forced to lose his temper when the Ukrainian held his child hostage in exchange for extortion money and hef...
Read full storyPot Gear
Aging schoolboy and petrol head Jeremy Clarkson who presents BBC's 'Top Gear' programme featuring cars no ordinary bloke can afford has been offered a contract by French tyre manufacturer Michelin to promote the brand in Britain. Initially, Clarkson, who likes his food, thought it was for a rôle also as a restaurant critic for their popular guides. i.e. a free lunch. Thus he would get to drive...
Read full storyThis Week's Downs and Ups in Adult Entertainment
Hartley Matters Nina Hartley, much respected veteran adult film coochie who featured prominently in the 1997 Academy Award Nominated film 'Boogie Nights' is currently indisposed with a sore throat. "I don't know how I got it" she croaked. "It means I haven't been in a position to take any big parts recently." Get well soon, Mrs H; we hope you'll be on your back in no time. The Member...
Read full storyRichard Desmond Announces Health Lottery: "Survival rates are down to luck and where you live"
Media tycoon Richard Desmond has unveiled a new lottery game which aims to raise awareness of the disparity of healthcare across the UK. Everyone will pay into the lottery from their normal tax contributions, and the fund will be used to pay for a...
Read full storyN.Korea concerned over US plans to include Computer War Games in annual Drills
South Korea and US troops have begun annual military drills in the peninsula bringing a warning from North Korea that it could trigger a nuclear war. The North Korean warning is not about the actual drills but because part of them will involv...
Read full storyJustin Bieber's Mother Buys Him A Ranch In Wyoming For His 17th Birthday
CHEYENNE, Wyoming - Well it looks like Justin Bieber will now have a place where he can keep the birthday present he received from Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato. The two teen queens bought their best friend Justin a Shetland pony for his 17th birthday. And although Justin was thrilled beyond belief to receive the little horse named "Little Fella" he was faced with the problem of where to keep...
Read full storyPresident Nodinnajaquet of Iran close to declaring war
President Ihavea Nodinnajaquet of Iran, sometimes compared to a lunatic - although genuine lunatics and people like George Galloway get very annoyed when people generalise about lunatics in terms of Iranian presidents in such a flippant manner - is o...
Read full storyNatalie Portman Wins The Best Actress Award For The "Black Swan" And Immediately Calls Off Her Upcoming Marriage
HOLLYWOOD - Natalie Portman is quite aware of 'The Curse of The Best Actress Academy Award Winners.' After winning the Best Actress Oscar at The 83rd Annual Academy Award Show, which took place in Hollywood's Kodak Theater, Portman, who won for h...
Read full storyColin Firth lambasted at Oscars
Colin Firth, the actor who played King George in the film The King's Speech, has been lambasted by the press at the Oscars. "He stood up there," said one newshound, "all prim and proper, orating in his posh English accent. There was not one stutt...
Read full storyCameron's St David's Day shocker!
London - Tragedy awaits the nation amid reports of Welsh Canwyll Corph corpse candles flickering in the mist over the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain. Early sightings reported a Prince Will-O'-The-Wisp apparition, a St David's Day salamander mate...
Read full storyTiger Woods called Fallen Mike Tyson by Johnny Miller
The bigger they are the harder they fall. Devon James who claimed to be one of Tiger Woods' 18 mistresses announced that she was releasing a Tiger Woods sex tape but then Philadelphia boxer Teneal Goyco came forward and said that in the Tiger Woods Devon James sex tape he played Tiger Woods. Teneal Goyco will not be receiving tonight's Academy Awards Irving G. Thalberg Lifetime Achievement Awa...
Read full storyWord on the tip of your tongue? There's an app for that
Collins, the makers of the most popular English book, the Dictionary, have branched out into the technological world with an App for the iPhone that gives you the word you are looking for. "You know how it is," said Dave Lopper, chief developer at...
Read full storyNew Battery technology set to revolutionise the world
Scientists in Birmingham have been working on a revolutionary new battery technology that is set to change the way we use electricity forever. "For too long," said Matt Baker, "we have been shackled by batteries. As the rest of the technological w...
Read full storyGay Man Comes Out: I Love Cricket
A top gay celebrity famous for his flamboyant lifestyle has shocked the gay community by coming out as a cricket fan. Fashion commentator Pepe Rimbaud has been a fixture on the celebrity circuit since the early '90s. He has always proclaimed his h...
Read full storyIrish election results in full, to be sure
The results of the Irish election have been announced by a chap in a rather Irish accent, similar to Sir Bob Geldof's, but without the attitude. And without a couple of top ten music hits. The outgoing government, led by Gerry Mander, saw their ne...
Read full storyBreast milk ice cream
An ice cream parlour in London is selling breast milk ice cream at £14.99 per scoop. Named Baby Gaga after the sound of a baby, there is no connection with the singer GaGa who said she has not supplied the breast milk. Women are coming forward who...
Read full storyHomeless Man Reunited With Mobile Phone
Daniel Morales, a 58 year old homeless man in New York City, has been reunited with his mobile phone after being separated for 10 years. Morales was one of number of persons who had been participating in a project in the city whereby unfortunates...
Read full storyManchester United Sever Wayne Rooney's Elbow's Contract
Astonishing news emerged from Old Trafford this afternoon when it was revealed that Manchester United had taken the extraordinary step of severing the contract of Wayne Rooney's elbow. The right elbow, nicknamed the Terminator, was the cause of so...
Read full storySarah Palin Hints That She May Be Heading For Arizona and Moving In With Daughter Bristol
WASILLA, Alaska - The word on the frozen streets of Wasilla is not good in regards to the Palin Family. It appears that there may be trouble over in Casa Moscow, the Todd and Sarah Palin home. For the past few weeks the rumor mills of this tiny Al...
Read full storyiPad 2 Has Sandwich Named for it at Carnegie Deli
It's a New York tradition. Well-known newcomers to the city often have sandwiches named after them at the world-famous Carnegie Deli. So this week, in honor of the rumored introduction of the Apple iPad 2 on Wednesday, the Carnegie has announc...
Read full storyColin Firth Wins The Academy Award For Best Actor And Announces He Will Give The 'Oscar' To Prince William and Kate Middleton As A Wedding Present
HOLLYWOOD - English actor Colin Firth and his Italian-born wife Livia Giuggioli had been wondering what to get Prince William and Kate Middleton as a wedding gift. Well at about 8:30 p.m. (Pacific Standard Time) on Sunday, February 27, at The 83r...
Read full storyIBM Computer Watson Gets His Own Reality Show
Okay, he isn't a real person. But that didn't stop TV executives from giving him a reality show on the new Reality network. Called "I am the Smartest," the show will be filmed in NY and will feature folks from all walks of life attempting to s...
Read full storyOscar Winner Colin Firth's Hotel Room Tagged By Banksy
It was all good a couple of hours ago for Brit actor Colin Firth, as he collected the Oscar for Best Actor in The King's Speech and went on to a proper Hollywood knees up with Billy Crystal and a holographic projection of the late and greatly lamente...
Read full storyThe Oscars - As They Happened - A Minute By Minute Account From Skoob Entertainment News
With Buffty Ginslinger - Reporting LIVE from the Kodak Theatre, Los Angeles. The 83rd Academy Awards Ceremony. If he can manage to stay awake...and sober... Sorry I'm a bit late - just been having a snifter with Charlie Sheen in The Viper Lounge. Lovely bloke. Bit of a lightweight, but you can't have everything I suppose. Right - am I on yet? Okay... 01:20 GMT - I didn't ask for this gig.
Read full storyU2 Reschedule U.S And Canada Dates
The world has been rocked by the news that rock act U2's Bono has rescheduled dates in the U.S and Canada. It has long been acknowledged that the singer has become one of the most influential men in global politics, regularly appearing at world pe...
Read full storyHelena Bonham Carter In Shock Announcement
The film world was in shock today with the news that Helena Bonham Carter's next project would not be a costume or period drama. The award winning actress , who has made a career out of playing upper class roles such as Lady Jane Grey, Anne Boleyn...
Read full storyClegg Fends Off Holiday Criticism
Coalition Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has defended his decision to go on holiday during the Libyan crisis, while Prime Minister David Cameron was on a tour of the Middle East. Clegg vehemently denied he had been irresponsible by going skiing...
Read full storySanitized King's Speech For U.S. Audiences
Award winning "The King's Speech" is to get a makeover in order to make it more suitable for younger audiences in the States. Director Mike Hooper has reluctantly agreed for swearing to be removed from the Oscar nominated film so that the over 17...
Read full storyFulham Boss Accuses Mancini
Fulham boss Mark Hughes has accused Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini of giving him a handshake that "lacked respect". The controversy took place at the end of the 1-1 draw at Eastlands that all but ended Man City's chances of the Premiershi...
Read full storyGaddafi's Tripoli two-step - with props!
A recent defector from Colonel Gaddafi's regime is said to have revealed that there was a connection between the umbrella the colonel was using a few days ago and the later urgings he was giving to his remaining followers to dance in the streets of T...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen to Play Nutty Congressman
Erratic actor Charlie Sheen has signed on to play erratic Congressman David Wu in "Two and a Half Tigers," a fantasy film about a lawmaker by day and a fake tiger by night. The movie is based on the life of Wu, who blames his frequent mental mel...
Read full storyI Found A Wisconsin Senator Hiding In My Closet
I found a Wisconsin State Democratic Senator hiding in my closet. Bastard! I was coming in to see if I could find a pair of socks I hadn't worn more than one day and, shazaam!, there he was. He looked as surprised as I myself must have. But that isn't what bothered me. He was eating my Pringles. Now, I am normally more on the left of things, but politics only go so far. If...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus and Bob Dylan To Record The Old Dylan Classic - "Lay Lap Dancing Lady Lay"
LOS ANGELES - Bob Dylan who will turn 70, on May 24, 2011, has verified that he and Miley Cyrus will be going into the recording studio to redo a recording of his hit record "Lay Lady Lay." Dylan first recorded the song back in 1969, and it made...
Read full storyPriceless Artwork In Unusual Place Proves that Banksy Was at The Oscars
A priceless piece of Art found in an unusual place has proven that Banksy definitely attended last night's Oscars ceremony. It was found on the wall of a loo cubicle and it said simply, "Banksy was Here". Experts have said that it definitely lo...
Read full storyArsenal Confusion In Defence Hands Birmingham City Carling Cup
Birmingham City won their first major silverware since 1963 as they beat Arsenal 2-1 in the Carling Cup at Wembley yesterday, when on-loan striker Obafemi Martens scored two minutes from the end of normal time, after a howler of a mix-up in the Gunne...
Read full story'Please Release Me Let Me Go' is No 1 in the Libyan Hit Parade!
Benghazi-in-the-Kazi - An early 1960s recording by the young and handsome Muammar singing with the Ronettes has gone straight to the top of the charts in Libya tonight. Private (as he was then) Gaddafi released his version of the 1946 Eddie Miller...
Read full storyGaddafi's busty blond nurse Galyna on euthanasia mercy flight to Buckingham Palace
Benghazi - Galyna Kolotnytska has been airlifted straight to London to collect a remedy vile (sic) mixed personally by the royal physician. An SAS team parachuted Madame K directly to Whorseguards - despite her massive 44DD stonkers constantly int...
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