Mel Gibson regrets dating a Ukrainian

Funny story written by Kid Icarus

Monday, 28 February 2011

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Gibson is expected to become a jail bird.

Mel Gibson said he regrets dating a pussy face Ukrainian critter because of all the hardship the creature has brought upon him.

Gibson was forced to lose his temper when the Ukrainian held his child hostage in exchange for extortion money and hefty child support payments.

The Ukrainian also ruined Gibson's Hollywood career and Gibson states he was better off having a child through a surrogate mother from Germany rather than playing Russian roulette with unpredictable women.

He was advised to show his manly side and to shut off his feelings like Leonardo DiCaprio did when he pulled out of Gibson's Viking movie. His lawyers are advising him to abandon the child and move back to Australia without paying any child support.

Sources tell that Gibson will be charged with domestic violence, but the Ukrainian will not be charged for extortion.

Sadly, Mel admitted to slapping the bizarre looking Ukrainian, he says because she was shaking his baby wildly in front of him while laughing hysterically and he feared Shaken Baby Syndrome would affect his child.

The sources say the Ukrainian falsified enough evidence to convict Gibson and most likely Gibson will be charged with a misdemeanor domestic violence.

There is enough evidence to prosecute the Ukrainian for extortion, but since she is a female and of the weaker sex, she won't be prosecuted.

Sources tell that Gibson will most likely be charged with in the next two weeks and he will spend six months in a jail cell occupied by black homosexual men with 12 inch genitals that carry venereal diseases and who don't like guys that abuse women or children.

"It appears a woman got the best of him," said long time friend Elton John.

Gibson may need reconstruction of the bottom end after the time period served. He will also need treatment for warts inside his lower intestines and outer orphus.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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