Lady Godiva meets with Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, both of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough, to discuss the upcoming Royal Wedding
Lady Godiva visited Middlesbrough last week to meet with two of her favourite lasses in the world, Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, both of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough. Both 'sporting' South Bank facelift hairdos. As usual, they met in their favourite restaurant in Morrison's, Berwick Hills Branch. Lady G. ordered the meals. Takwana just wanted Fish,chips and mushy peas...Anitakapita fanci...
Read full storyJordan Walks On The Wild Side
Glamour girl Katie Price, formally known as Jordan, has been out showing her wild side. She has gone out draped in a black acrylic jacket and tight leopard skin leggings. Katie Price resembles Jane Fonda in 1000 years BC; she is glamourous and sexy and she looks as if she is looking for a handsome hunk of a caveman to come and carry her off to his cave. Katie has been celebrating her divorc...
Read full storyStartling new revelations from our far east correspondent
The Chinese communist government is panic stricken about the recent developments in Egypt where they financed the pro Mubarak thugs in a vain attempt to influence the outcome of the uprising against the dictatorship. Peking fear they be next in li...
Read full storyKnitting - there is no easy way
A government think-tank comprising of esteemed scientists, mathematicians, statisticians and four elderly ladies, yesterday concluded that there is no easy way to approach the almost forgotten art of knitting. "Knitting is an incredibly complex pr...
Read full storyLady Godiva in line for the throne
Spoof Writer, Lady Godiva heard that Ellen Degeneres recently found out that she is distantly related to the British Royal Family. This spurred Lady G. to take a closer look into her own family tree. To her astonishment she found that she too is distantly related to the Royal Family and is, in fact, 593rd in line for the throne. Thanks to the World Wide Web, Google and the Mormons, we all h...
Read full storyCatholic Priest Involved in... Blah Blah Blah
LONDON - Another catholic priest has been... oh c'mon! Really? Don't these guys get the message? Anyway, another catholic priest, the sick loser, has yet again did the nasty with a kid, again. You know the drill. You want unbiased? Just go to some...
Read full storyVincent Tabak Described By Girlfriend as "Perfectly Normal"
Samantha Morson said that her boyfriend Vincent Tabak is "perfectly normal" and is said to be devastated over his arrest for the murder of landscape architect Jo Yeates. Glamourous Sam is to take part in a documentary later in the year to describe...
Read full storyBritain's Got Celebrity Talent
Simon Cowell has released audio tapes from the never-released Britain's Got Celebrity Talent show in 2010. See what you think : Piers Morgan - "Derek Simpson. Tell me about yourself". Derek Simpson - "Well, Piers, I'm Joint Leader of the Union Unite, and tonight I'm going to conduct last minute discussions with Willie Walsh of British Airways while tweetin...
Read full storyFinally Some Great Economic News
Everyone agrees that the past couple of years have been a terrible drain on the collective American psyche. At least the collective American psyche that has had to contend with high unemployment rates, low housing prices, a tightening credit market a...
Read full storyBush's Memoirs On The Way
The memoirs of former US President George W Bush are to be released in November, his publishers announced. The book, tentatively titled "The Not So Mighty Bush", will list many of the ex President's eccentricities, some of which have never before...
Read full storyGay Man Takes Schoolboys up the Back Passage
A gay man has been given a stern telling off for taking a bunch of under-age boys of the back passage. Larry Sabu, 20, was told that he was helping the lads avoid paying the entrance fee to see a Ronnie Corbett one-man show at the local theatre.
Read full storyNew Twist for Sex Education
A senior Iranian cleric has emphasised the need for women not to dress promiscuously or there would be severe consequences not only for them but for the rest of Iranian society. In a speech made in Tehran, Hoiatoleslam Kazem Sedighi told worshippe...
Read full storyAfrican Nations Cup Fever Builds
Kenya football fans in the North Eastern town of Mandera are furious at the Muslim leader Sheikh Khalif Mohammed's decision to close public video halls ahead of the African Nations Cup 2012 qualifiers. Because many Kenyans are too poor to afford s...
Read full storyMubarak Leaves His Office
Honesty Mubarak, former Egyptian President has cleared his desk and left his office in Cairo. He has resigned after weeks of indecision. He told your Spoof man, the only newsperson to accompany him on his flight from his office: 'Honesty is the be...
Read full storyEgypt's Hosni Mubarak Actually Found To Be Bela Lugosi In Disguise!
CAIRO, Egypt - Embattled Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak, fleeing the hordes of anti-government protesters that lined the streets of the capital, was stopped at the border by Egyptian border patrol guards. Most supporters of the now-faltering go...
Read full storyHustle - BBC Show Puts Big Football On The Alert
English football authorities will be watching a popular TV show with interest tonight as a team of loveable rogues take a fat cat agent "to the cleaners." BBC's Hustle features a team of grifters who each week punish a greedy crook or unscrupulous...
Read full storyGood News: President Obama Has Quit Smoking - Bad News: He's Taken Up Chewing Tobacco
WASHINGTON, D.C. - White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax has told the White House Press Corps that President Obama, after months and months of trying has finally kicked the cigarette habit. The members of the media erupted in a thunderous applaus...
Read full storyThe Denver Nuggets Trade Carmelo Anthony To The Harlem Globetrotters
DENVER - Disgruntled Denver Nuggets super star Carmelo Anthony has been insisting for weeks now that the Nuggets organization trade him to the New York Knicks. The 6 foot 8 inch Anthony, who signed a 5 year, $80 million contract in 2006 ($16 milli...
Read full storyWhat's that in the Archbishop's beard?
Quietly announced a few days ago from the Church of England's press office was the odd piece of news that Rowan Williams, Archbishop of Canterbury has discovered there's a tiny pimpernel bat apparently hibernating in his beard! The pimpernel bat...
Read full storyCooking for Physicists
There are plenty of "How To" articles for buying houses and the other big decisions. How To books for cooking, however, are rarely called "How to Cook", unless you look for books by Delia Smith. Instead, they have a bewildering array of names, such as "30 Minute Meals", "101 Recipes for Lentils", and the like. This makes selecting appropriate reference material more complicated. Many of you wil...
Read full storyU. S. Gives State of Texas & Super Bowl Club Seats to Mubarak!
In an announcement that took the US and the world by surprise, President Barack Obama called the Egyptian President last night and made him an offer, "you can't refuse." Obama offered him the State of Texas plus Club Seats to the Super Bowl for t...
Read full storyUFO flypast swoops over Joanna Yeates funeral cortege
Bristol - (Pie-In-The-Sky): At lunchtime today the alien craft's trajectory was spotted tracing ancient Hampshire ley lines called the Monarch's Way. The route has previously seen mothership reconnaissance flights sourced by the RAF to the Devil'...
Read full storyPostage prices will be better value for money in the future.
Since regulators turned down Royal Mails request to raise postage prices in 2011 last year they have been looking at ways of ensuring their request will sail through the regulators net next time.They believe they've come up with a plan that will a...
Read full storyAnother Amazing Invention
US Researchers have created a robot that can pick up a towel from a pile of laundry, fold and then stack it. Housewives with spare cash are eagerly putting their names down to be the first recipients as soon as the invention comes on the market. J...
Read full storyTurin Shroud Alternative Available
Each year, millions of people -- including Pope Benedict XVI -- view the Turin shroud while it's on view at various locations in Europe. The reason for its popularity stems from the fact that it appears to bear the image of Jesus' face. But identi...
Read full storyGlobal Cooling - By 1 degree Fahrenheit per decade!
Joseph Goebbels, Hitler's Propaganda Minister said, "The bigger the lie,the more it will be believed". Taking part in a "low carbon summit" in Parliament this week Prince Charles appealed for an increase in targets aimed at reducing CO2 emissio...
Read full storyWest Lothian put on full alert!
West Lothian has been put on full alert, after the Fanatics Tracking Bureau issued a Category 5 loonicane warning for the area. The loonicane, made up of hundreds of Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies, is expected to hit the area in e...
Read full storyMubarak Messes with the Masses
Last night, with the Sphinx-like Sphinx in the background, President Hosni Mubarak addressed his people in a manner that demonstrated the Egyptian paradox of defiant compliance. While the world expected that he would withdraw from ruling the nati...
Read full storyFuture Wanking
Graffitti artist Rich Simmons has created a royal mural with Prince William as the Sex Pistols bass player and Kate Middleton as Nancy Spungen. Over the picture is the intriguing title FUTURE ****KING. Unfortunately Nancy ended her day's being sta...
Read full storyDog Wins Custody Of Litter
In a ground breaking move today, a Judge at a Lincolnshire court stunned the packed courthouse with his ruling that a dog should have custody rites to all his litter. Jack Russell, the delighted owner of the dog in question explained how events had u...
Read full storyMubarak Cancels Trip to Clacton
I rang Mrs Chuckle of The Farmer's Whistle about the decision of President of Egypt Honesty Mubarak to cancel his trip to Clacton. 'I feel such a fool' she told me 'but it was that Cameron - he stopped it, said it was too much mudlyculturism. Appa...
Read full storyCeltic F.C To Tie Up With Greens?
A sensational story is breaking involving the once mighty Celtic FC. Sources close to Parkhead have revealed that the biscuit tinted club directors - concerned about the humiliating early exit from European competition - have been leaving no stone...
Read full storyU2 Announce New Album
Following Bono's back injury in 2010 that led to worldwide gigs being cancelled, U2 have moved quickly to pacify fans by releasing an album of previously unheard demos under their working titles. "How To Dismantle A Touring Schedule" will be available on Tuesday. Provisional track listing believed to be - Agony, Bloody Agony Sciatica, In The Name Of The Wee Man With Or Without Ibupr...
Read full storyShock Theft From Tourist Venue
Tayside Police have reported that goods worth thousands of pounds were stolen from a clothing and food store at the weekend. A grim faced police spokesman stated that items to the value of almost £6,000 were taken from the House of Bruar in Bridge...
Read full storyMan Went Shopping Without Trousers!
Reports are coming in that an ordinary man, who isn't a celebrity or a sports star endured a horrifying ordeal yesterday evening, when he went shopping at a local supermarket, only to realise, half way round the store that he had somehow inadvertentl...
Read full storyNaomi Campbell Autobiography Out Soon
Supermodel Naomi Campbell is hoping to put a bad 12 months behind her with the publication of her first autobiography entitled "Nothing To Do With Me". An advance extract tells all about her recent brush with the long arm of the law and reveals that she really hasn't learned anything after her alleged involvement with ex Liberian leader Charles Taylor. "OMG !!! You'll never believe what happ...
Read full storyBad Year for Australia
Australia has been voted the Unluckiest Country In The World by a panel of experts specialising in assessing Bad Luck Events. A disastrous 12 months - in which the former colony suffered billions of pounds worth of damage after cyclones, floods an...
Read full storyMubarak - "I'll step down when my bloodied children fork over another $80 billion!"
Hosni Mubarak just outdid Barack Obama for the numbers of flip-flops performed within a 24-hour period, while dragging his own Arabic language through the mud almost as badly as recent U.S. Presidents have done with English. At least Mubarak didn'...
Read full storyOut of Egypt
Cairo -- "Let yourself go!" cried the people to Pharaoh, "So that we may be free!" "Who are the people," replied Pharaoh, "that they know better than me? I will let everyone in my Cabinet go, but I will not let myself go." Using tools of communi...
Read full storyBlack Eyed Peas Banned from Local Karaoke Bar
The backlash from the poor performance the Black Eyed Peas dished out at last Sunday's Super Bowl has been rough. The bad reviews continue to pour in across the internet and are showing up in celebrity rags from New York to Los Angeles. While no u...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Has Stated She Is Seriously Thinking About Getting A Tattoo With The Initials J.G. (Jake Gyllenhaal)
OXNARD, California - Taylor Swift finished her encore song "He's My Hot Doggin' Hot Dog Man" and walked backstage where she was met by Tittle Tattle Tonight's Skippy Viperwater. Skippy was in Oxnard visiting his maternal grandparents Marlowe Bob a...
Read full storyAmerican Idol Bombshell: Adam Lambert, Simon Cowell, and Dick Clark All Agree On Who This Years American Idol Winner Will Be
HOLLYWOOD - This year American Idol traveled to seventy-nine different cities and heard over 3 million AI wannabees sing, wail, scream, shout, yell, and even hum every song imaginable from "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" to "Single Ladies (Put A Ring O...
Read full storySexually Offensive Avatars Create Dilemma on Shared Internet Sites
With the advent of Social Networking, there comes a whole new set of rules pertaining to privacy of information. While some people take it upon themselves to give as little information as possible to try to protect their private information, others find nothing wrong with giving TMO (too much information) to the point that you know everything about them from their favorite hobbies to the precise t...
Read full storyAngry Egyptians Use Vuvuzelas to Roust Mubarak from Power
Update 2/12/11: Threats of use of vuvuzelas have forced Mubarak to finally step down and hand power over to the Egyptian army. Proving once again the power of the vuvuzela. Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak pulled a fast one on the citizens of Eg...
Read full storyTaylor Lautner and Bristol Palin To Star In A Remake of The Musical Dance Classic "Singing In The Rain"
HOLLYWOOD - Noted American director-producer Sheboygan Saddlewood has announced to the Hollywood press that he has just agreed to produce Touchrock Films remake of the classic musical dance motion picture Singing In The Rain. Starring as the male...
Read full storyRepublican Research Shows: Sarah Palin is Related to Ronald Reagan's Chimp Bonzo!
Gnome, Alaska - Conservative dunk tank The P-U Chairitable trust today announced a new research report that puts Sarah Palin in the Ronald Reagan family tree. At least, that is if you count Bonzo the Chimp. "DNA testing of Sarah and Bonzo's hair...
Read full storyGlobal Crisis - Thunderbirds On Red Alert
The latest press release from Tracy Island appears to be a thinly disguised attempt to reassure the world's population, that no matter how disastrous things may appear to be getting around the globe, we can all relax, because International Rescue are...
Read full storyHubby to Chelsea: "Get a Face Transplant.....Or Else!"
Washington DC-- Chelsea Clinton has moved back to her parents home to lick her wounds amid rumors of divorce and infedelity with her husband of 6 months, Marc Mezvinski. Mezvinski has run off to Jackson Hole, WY to ponder the future of his marriage t...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson Learns Something New Every Day
EPISODE 47: ROBERT LEARNS ABOUT LIQUORICE In the licorice fields at Pontefract My love and I did meet And many a burdened licorice bush Was blooming round our feet; Red hair she had and golden skin, Her sulky lips were shaped for sin, Her sturdy legs were flannel-slack'd The strongest legs in Pontefract. from The Licorice Fields At Pontefract by Sir John Betjeman with Guest Pre...
Read full story