Police Target Metal Thieves

Written by grimbo

Monday, 11 April 2011

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Police forces across the country are gearing up to combat a major increase in thefts from heavy metal bands.

Hot on the heels of thieves stealing guitars worth over £6,500 from a Led Zeppelin tribute band in Dundee, fans of the legendary Motorhead were stunned to learn that frontman Lemmy Kilmister had woken up to find that his facial mole had been surgically removed during the night.

Stoke On Trent police are puzzled by the theft.

A spokesman commented that "this incident is quite baffling. The perpetrator must have applied some kind of anaesthetic to Mr Kilmister in order to carry out the procedure.

The culprit obviously had some medical training as, apart from the shock of losing such a trademark asset,Mr Kilmister has suffered no obvious after effects".

A general alert has been issued to alll heavy metal bands to be extra vigilant. Iys understood that a specific threat has been made against Eddie ,Iron Maiden's iconic mask, which is now being given round the clock protection.

Derby police have warned Def Leppard drummer Rick Allen that his false arm may also be at risk.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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