First Bus and Trains to sponsor next Grand National

Funny story written by Steddyeddy

Monday, 11 April 2011


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image for First Bus and Trains to sponsor next Grand National
Is it a train, is it a bus.....not it's, er, the First Group

The First Bus and Trains group who er, run buses and trains have decided to sponsor the next Grand National at Aintree in Liverpool.

Commenting on their decision, a director of the transport form said "they were sponsoring the next Grand National at Aintree in Liverpool because that it where the race is usually held."

What lead to the sponsorship was the fact that the spokeswoman from the Association of Ladies' Day Race Goers felt that their members were going to the trouble of dressing up in extremely expensive clothes, wearing extremely expensive hats (yes, the majority of them being extremely silly, as well as the hats) only to be photographed for OK!, Hello!, Lancashire Life and Exchange and Mart holding plastic pint glasses full of John Smith's beer.

Especially unsuitable, as the average Grand National lady day attendee from Fazakerley is more used to binge drinking on cheap sparkling wine from Aldi and not John Smith's best.

Also, the directors of First Group said that the start of the Grand National was very much like the average group of train or rail passengers - people milling around hoping for a bus or train to arrive, not knowing which direction to take or at what time to take it, and having some man in a hat start shouting "not yet, not yet".

Also, the betting on the Grand National is very much like buying a Transpennine rail ticket - you don't know what price you'll get until the train starts.

And to finish off the total fit for First Group sponsorship of the race, the start of the grand national is never exactly on time, very much like the average First Bus or Train.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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