New Jersey Governor Chris Christie Denies He's Gay

Written by Adam Click

Monday, 11 April 2011

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New Jersey Governor Chris Christie denies he's gay.

A new study suggests that one in thirty people in the United States is gay. That's 8,707,739 or roughly the entire population of New Jersey. New Jersey Governor, Chris Christie, denies he's gay. Okay. So make that 8,707,738, but still...That's a lot of gay people for one state.

"Liberty and Prosperity" may be the state motto of New Jersey, but with that many gay people, can "Footloose and Fancy free," be far behind? Your daughter and her girlfriend seem okay with the gay lifestyle. So does your son and all of his friends. Half of your own cabinet is out of the closet. So why aren't you, governor?

New Jersey is no slouch when it comes to gay bars either. Why I bet there's probably a gay bar just down the street from the state capitol.

Why don't you just pop in for a little drinky poo? You're sure to meet somebody you know and if you don't, well, there's always that handsome hunk at the end of the bar. The one that just bought you that lovely Brandy Alexander.

So go ahead and admit it: YOU'RE GAY! Everybody knows it. Fess up, and you'll feel a lot better. I'll be there for you, Governor Christie. Hey! That would make an even 8,707,740! How cool is that?!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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