Grinch Turns Eyes to Fashion Industry
Highly popular yet grossly misunderstood, 'Mr. Grinch' today launched his new brand of men and women's fashion. The label, "GCUK" or "Grinch Connection Undoes Kristmas" promotes faux green fur in their line of fashion and a detest for anything rem...
Read full storySecret Palace Concern over Testino/Middleton Photo Shoot
Buckingham Palace is 'delighted' over the 'announcement by Clarence House' that Kate Middleton is to appear in a series of photographs by famed photographer Mario Testino. The Palace says 'we applaud the choice of Mr. Testino, whose gifted work has...
Read full storyQueen's knickers auction in Florida
Miami - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): The Xtra-Large pink M&S stretch polyester undies were left by the Queen on a private plane to Chile circa 1968. They are being auctioned by the estate of 'Baron' Joseph de Bicske Dobrony who paid General Pino...
Read full storyUnabomber's House Property For Sale
The house and property of Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber, has been put up for sale over ten years after it's owner was safely locked away for murder. In case you weren't around, letters and packages loaded with explosives were sent from this residen...
Read full storyWikiLeaks Putting Nation's Blackmailers Out of Work!
Both the Democrat and Republican parties have united to sue WikiLeaks for all their releases thus far and for any new ones. "We have enough people out of work now", stated Senator Mitch McConnell the Senate Minority Leader from Kentucky. "If WikiL...
Read full storyCricketing world turned upside down as Australia turn into England
The Cricketing world has been turned upside down as Australian fans begin praying for rain as they watch their Ashes opponents disappear over the hills whilst their team toils on wickets flatter than a decade old bottle of happy shopper lemonade.
Read full storyJustin Bieber Asks Police not to Arrest Fan's Mother!
A teenager's mother was arrested after running her hand down the front of Justin Bieber's pants! The mother of a young lady who is the president of a local Justin Bieber Fan Club in Ohio, has embarrassed her daughter after a Bieber concert they tr...
Read full storyMel Gibson has his hand up a beaver's arse, shocking photos prove it.
"Mel Gibson has had to endure questions about his stability following a string of controversies. Now he is preparing to relaunch his career by playing a man who befriends a hand-puppet beaver after suffering a breakdown." This just in, complete wi...
Read full storySimpering Cher Lloyd Survives Sing Off With Mary Byrne - Sparks Fury In Ireland
Skoob Entertainment News Exclusive - sulky diva, and alleged brat, Cher Lloyd has just triumphed over Ireland's sweetheart, 'Tesco' Mary Byrne in the X-Factor sing off. Prompting fury in the already financially besieged Emerald Isle, with several...
Read full storyEgypt Shark Attack Shocks World: "There's a F--king Ocean In Egypt??" - And Seth Meyers Stole My Joke Again!
The world is stunned by news from Egypt, where officials have closed area beaches because a German woman died Sunday after being attacked by a shark in waters off Sharm el-Sheikh, Egypt. SNL's Seth Meyers Stole Another Joke!! Nice joke, about Egy...
Read full storyHuman Mutation Factors Identified
Life for mankind during the twentieth century was a roller coaster of immense changes and extreme pressure on brains geared for hunter gathering. To date the scientific explanation as to what the volley of changes has meant to genes and DNA has been...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Wimps Out Of Performance On German TV Show
Teen Magazine's Cute Girl Of The Decade, Justin Bieber, walked off of a German TV show, claiming that a critical injury suffered by another performer on the show left him "too weepy" to perform. The teen singer was scheduled to appear on Germany's...
Read full storyFalkland Islands to bid for the 2026 FIFA World Cup.
Port Stanley, Falkland Islands - With Qatar winning the 2022 bid, a nation state that has never qualified for the footballing world cup finals in FIFAs 80 history, it means that the Falkland Islands has a chance to win. With FIFA hell bent on tak...
Read full storyAt The Restaurant
Good evening Sir. Are you ready to order? Why yes, I think I am. Very good Sir, go ahead. Who do I give my orders to? To me, Sir. That's my job, to receive your order. Right. I want you to recite Charge of The Light Brigade for me. Then I would like you to fetch the Chef and I would like you to dance a polka together. Then I want you to go and stand over there, by the castor oil p...
Read full storyQuad bike falls through ice on frozen lake in Wales
"Quad bike falls through ice on frozen lake Quad bikers who drove onto a frozen lake have been criticised for "stupidity at the highest level" after one of their machines fell through the ice. " That's putting it mildly but it did give me a good laugh when I saw the photo of the incident and read the true story. Idiots of the highest degree. They are probably the fellas who were sitting coz...
Read full story'Airplane!' Final Edit: Leslie Nielsen, Peter Graves and Barbara Billingsley All Die In 2010.
The funniest movie to come out during the Carter Administration --1980's Airplane!-- has undergone a final edit this year thanks to the Grim Reaper, with the 2010 deaths of stars Leslie Nielsen, Peter Graves and Barbara Billingsley. While Billings...
Read full storyIt's Gonna be a Poopy Christmas According to M & M's Manufacturer
The makers of everyone's favorite candy, M & M's has just released a press report which states that they will not be producing red and green candies this holiday season. Several factors have been cited for the decision. First of all, the dyes...
Read full storyX-factor One Direction's Morrissey Dream Come True
Friends from within the camp of One Direction have revealed that the boys will be taking a shocking new career move this Christmas if they win the show. They said that the boys plan to commit a Revolutionary act against the X-factor machine and...
Read full storyWikileaks Founder Claims He is Developing Nuclear Weapon?
United States intelligence sources are claiming that Wilileaks Founder, Julian Assange's recent release of highly sensitive cables is just the tip of the iceberg of what Assange is truly capable of. They paint the picture of a man who considers himse...
Read full storyDon't like the weather forecast? Wait an hour...
The weather in Britain is the hardest weather in the world to predict. It requires three supercomputers working round the clock, a network of satellites looking at the entire world, a dedicated meteorological team of scientists, a wealth of experienc...
Read full storyPrince William's FIFA carpet burns pics posted online
Cyberspace - (Sore Ass Mess): Knees, elbows and other joints feature prominently in the soft-focus, hard core shots. Today's online publication saw the Palace mount a furious rearguard action defending William's bigamous offer. The princelet re...
Read full story174 'Twilight: Eclipse' Viewers Hospitalized By Robert Pattinson / Kristen Stewart DVD Commentary.
Summit Entertainment, the movie studio which has made approximately $905 jillion dollars moistening the panties of young women via the 'Twilight' movie series, has landed in hot water after 174 fans of the new 'Twilight: Eclipse' DVD were hspitalized...
Read full storyBrothel to Become Museum
A former brothel in Taiwan has been turned into a Museum with exhibits reminding visitors of the previous facilities provided at the building. This idea has been examined by the Coalition Government with the clever trick of reversing the process b...
Read full storySmoking To Be Classed As Extreme Sport
Government ministers have today announced that the act of smoking cigarettes is to be classified as an extreme sport. The continued popularity of the lethal hobby in the face of overwhelming, some might say 'blasé', scientific evidence that it causes...
Read full story'FIFA inserted 45-minute claim into dodgy dossier' - Campbell
Alastair Campbell has sensationally accused FIFA of inserting the 45-minute claim into what later became known as the 'dodgy dossier' that went on to form the British governments case for war with Iraq in 2003. The document, 'Iraq: Its Infrastruct...
Read full storyEncyclopaedia Salesman Tries To Pass Himself Off As Burglar To Gain Entry To Woman's House
Police are investigating the strange case of an encyclopaedia salesman in London who tried to gain entry into a woman's house by claiming he was a burglar. The man, Johnny Repp, was arrested after he duped his way into the home of Elsie Nobble, 93...
Read full storyTom Brady Vows to Shave his Head & Wax his Balls if Patriots Lose to Jets Monday Night!
Appearing relaxed and confidant, NE Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, reclining in front of his fireplace clad in flannel boxer shorts and calf high sheepskin house slippers, said he would 'go commando' if his team loses to those "loud mouth fat NY Ba...
Read full storyWomen Disputes Price Of Sandwiches
There was controversy in the Thai capital of Bangkok today, when a female sales assistant in a 24-hour convenience store became argumentative over the price of two sandwiches bought by my dad. The incident occurred today at the Bang Kruay soi 7Ele...
Read full storyEnergy bills drop dramatically in FIFA HQ
After FIFA awarded Russia and Qatar with the 2018 and 2022 World Cups, it has been exclusively revealed that energy bills have dropped dramatically at the football federation's HQ. Compared to last year's massive bill, this year's has only come i...
Read full storyBorn to Spoof: Chapter Eleven: Rebirth
The light from the window seemed to be coming from a tiny little cabin. Curious, Skoob made his way from out of his hideyhole and pressed his face up against said window. And then gasped. He felt around in his pockets, then sent a message to the one person he felt could help. * Nick Hobbs paced the wreckage of the castle, muttering angrily as he noticed how Number 3.5 and 4 had so far fail...
Read full storyKatia Zatuliveter to be deported. Her REAL mission as a spy is out in the open..
"Katia Zatuliveter - who worked for Lib Dem MP Mike Hancock and has written articles criticising Nato while defending Russian military action - is facing deportation." She succeeded in her mission and has now come out from under the covers in Mr.
Read full storyAccused Russian spy Katia Zatuliveter 'a scapegoat for England world cup flop'
London - (Spy-Who-Gagged-Me Mess): Pals of blonde, blue-eyed Katia Zatuliveter reckon she's a sacrificial lamb for England's World Cup 2018 slaughter. The 35CC-23-34 beauty faces extradition to Bloodyvostock in a tit (sic) for tat spat with Russia...
Read full storyWikileaks: Nick Clegg upset not to have any of his emails leaked
Nick Clegg, the anonymous face of the UK government, is said to be distraught at finding that not one of his emails has been deemed sufficiently interesting to be released by Wikileaks. "I send lots of emails, regularly - to some really important...
Read full storyObama Blocks GOP Access to Capitol Toilets!
In a move today that stunned the nation's Capitol and infuriated the GOP members of Congress, President Barack Obama issued an order to Capitol police to block all GOP members of Congress and their staffs from using the toilets in the nation's Capit...
Read full storyWikileaks: Existence of Santa Claus questioned by world governments
The Wikileaks stream of governmental consciousness has revealed another shocking element to the murky world of international diplomacy. In emails that were released yesterday world leaders were confessing that many of them were sceptical about the ex...
Read full storySnowed in Yorkshire Kid Lucky to be Alive After Ordeal Isolated in Pub with Open Bar and 7 Waitresses!
Reports from Yorkshire today indicate that a famous scribe known the world over as "The Yorkshire Kidd", and to his close friends as "Birbee" is recovering in a secret location after surviving 9 days in a snowed in pub only existing on an endless bu...
Read full storyPanda female bears only get "hot" 72 hours a year, many human housewives have the same problem!
The Panda bear is one of the most adored animals on the planet, unfortunately they have one problem, reproduction? It seems that female Panda's only get "hot" 72 hours in the year and during this period their male partners are either too busy devo...
Read full storyEcuadorian volcano outburst is work of Al Qaeda!
The Ecuadorian volcano about to erupt is not a natural occurrence? Seismologists studying the outburst and the surrounding quakes were convinced that the volcano was only due to erupt in 2050 and not now. After researching the volatile situatio...
Read full storyBreakthrough in giant panda breeding
A critical breakthrough has been made in efforts to save the giant panda, one that could kick-start attempts to reintroduce the animals to the wild. For many years, people have tried to get giant pandas to breed in captivity, but with little succe...
Read full storyAnother Sexy Russian Spy
Mike Handcock LibDem MP who sits on the all party defence committee has been accused of employing a Russian spy Katia Zatuliveter (25) as his research assistant. 'She's a delightful asset to our team and helps to keep my pecker up but she is not a...
Read full storySimpsons Timeline Baffles Poltroon
A Fylde man has admitted to being "baffled and completely discombobulated" by the timeline portrayed in the popular animation series The Simpsons. Eric Poltroon, a nincompoop, of Fairhaven, Lytham St Anne's, told us: "What's with that headmaster c...
Read full storyRussians Deserved the World Cup
Russian sports minister Gregori Bentazulike, the dentures and nylon suit billionaire, , today called an extraordinary press conference in Spudulikeograd at which he defended the awarding of the 2018 world cup to his homeland. He said all Russia wa...
Read full storyBlather Resigns As FIFA President
After 12 years as the boss of FIFA (the F**king Football Association), Supp Blather has announced his resignation from the job, bringing to an end a stellar career which had such humble beginnings. After graduating from university, Blather worked...
Read full storyMel Gibson and Jodie Foster To Star In "The Beaver" - Foster Stresses That She Is Not Playing "The Beaver"
HOLLYWOOD - Mel Gibson, who says that he is thrilled beyond belief that everyone has moved on and forgotten about his ridiculous, crazy man, rants and raves regarding his ex-future wife Oksana Grigorieva, says his new movie The Beaver will be a box-o...
Read full story"Gilligan's Island" Remix Episode #1
Rap Music Version of the Gilligan's Island Intro Song: Just sit it right back onna yer ass and your gonna hear a tale; a tail of an awsome trip Started from a tropic port and Alien Planet Aboard two awesome ships. The mate was an ex Pop Star, the Skipper use to play Golf, 5 passengers set sale that day on a lipo-suction tour The weather started getting disturbed! The Ships all tossed the...
Read full storySecretary of State Hillary Clinton Sells Soiled Panties to Repay Campaign Debt
Hillary Clinton, Secretary of State, took a beating two years ago from Barak Obama. In the process she accumulated a pretty hefty debt from campaigning. In order to pay the debt down Hillary has gone the, "Home Shopping Network", way. She is selli...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News - Botanical Garden Lift Problem Identified
Yet another twist has surfaced in the ongoing saga of replacement of the lift at the Ventnor Botanical Garden. It seems that the delegated decision made by Cllr George Brown to authorize the replacement of the beleaguered lift may have been a bit...
Read full storyTSA Gets Approval to Add Cosmetic Surgery Line
Washington D.C. - After the TSA's success with the Sensual Massage pat down line over Thanks Giving, they are adding another service, the Cosmetic Surgery Line. Lady Gaga "Get your pat down and nose job," said Lady Gaga, sporting a new look as...
Read full storyTSA Administrator Pistole Found Guilty
Washington DC: A Federal Court in the District of Columbia heard the case of Airline Passengers Vs Transportation Security Administration (TSA) Administrator John S. Pastole. The TSA Administrator was charged with violating the Fourth Amendment right...
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