Simpering Cher Lloyd Survives Sing Off With Mary Byrne - Sparks Fury In Ireland

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Sunday, 5 December 2010

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Skoob Entertainment News Exclusive - sulky diva, and alleged brat, Cher Lloyd has just triumphed over Ireland's sweetheart, 'Tesco' Mary Byrne in the X-Factor sing off.

Prompting fury in the already financially besieged Emerald Isle, with several reports coming in of plasma screen HD TVs being attacked with hammers and Guinness bottles, especially in Dublin.

SEN's Buffty Ginslinger described the judge's vote as 'a bloody travesty' and 'an absolute disgrace.'

"It should have gone to the public vote," he told us. "Left to the judges, there was no way Mary was ever going to win. They even hinted at it last night; and on tonight's sing off, Mary looked almost resigned to her fate. What we got from Cher was this 'little girl lost and in great peril' act, which according to sources I've spoken to runs contrary to the spoiled brat diva antics I've heard her linked with."

Irish beef farmer, Feargal McCluskey expressed his outrage at the X-Factor's loss of a national icon.

"Ould Tesco Mary, the big Dublin lassie shoulda won hands down. The wee English waif was strident, strident I tell you's. And she appeared to me very own eyes to be verging on hysteria. I don't think she's quite right. Probably a bit flaky or something."

Irish master builder, Fergus McCarthy has climbed up on to the roof of his house and refused to come down until justice is administered.

So he has.

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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