Written by Ellis Ian Fields

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

image for Publishers Slammed For Misleading Readers Over Language
Dante and Virgil (at rear). Nice to use some culture, innit?

A couple of British tourists have lambasted publishing houses for luring unwary readers into buying books they can't understand.

Ken and Liz Bonkers, of Harlesden, north London, recently returned from a visit to Florence but claim their excursion was "completely ruined" by uncaring publishers.

Said Liz: "Our Ken's been fancying himself as something of a poet recently - he's been going to creative writing classes at the local adult education centre of an evening.

"Any road, when we went to Florence he got all interested in Dante - you know, the chap of The Divine Comedy fame. I do like his theme tune to Father Ted.

"So he thought he'd buy a copy, went into a book shop, handed over 30 euros for a nice looking edition with Dante on the front - he had a nose on him, didn't he? 'Talk about a Roman nose,' I said, 'it roams all over his face,' hah ha! 'Romes' - get it?

"But when we got home, he couldn't read it! It was all in gobbledy gook - completely unreadable."

Ken added: "I showed it to my mate Dave down the pub and told me it was printed in Italian!

"Well what a bloody con! What's the point of selling me a book in Italian? I can't ready bloody Eyeteye! My old man was as in Italy in the war, but that's it!"

Now the Bonkers have complained to their European MP to urge him to get the EU to stop this 'scam.'

"It's a diabolical liberty," said Liz. "Innocent tourists are being scammed and ripped off - paying for expensive books and finding they're in Italian.

"What's next... French, German? Chinese? No - it's got to be nipped in the bud."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Books, Bonkers

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