Kim Kardashian Signs Deal With Implant Manufacturer

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

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Recently named as having the "Best Butt" in the world for 2010, Kim Kardashian has just inked an agreement with Meddiplant Corporation to produce a full line of butt-implants for the "caboose challenged", as Kim likes to call it.

Working closely with implant designer Dr. Hans Onnermuphenz, Kardashian has already completed a full rear end casting and numerous measurement sessions with the doctor. "We feel that we will be able to offer most women, the size and shape of Kim's wonderful posterior. I should have all the research I need to start implant production, after a few more private sessions with Kim's biscuits", says Dr. Onnermuphenz.

Patterning different shapes of implants, Onnermuphenz should be able to adjust the contours of nearly any shaped tush, and reshape it to match that of the award winning Kardashian model. "Except in cases where the badonkadonk is already wider than Kim's, then a liposuction procedure would need to occur first", says Onnermuphenz.

Filming the commercial in advance of the implant release, Meddiplant Corporation will feature Ms. Kardashian in numerous variations of the downward facing dog pose, while the background music will feature 'Don't Cha Wish Your Girlfriend was Hot Like Me', by Tori Alamaze. Kardashian wraps up the commercial by slapping her right cheek, staring into the camera and ending with "Get Some".

Meddiplant stock reportedly fell by 13 points at this morning's opening bell. Analysts noted the root cause as "poor taste".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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