Doctor Alonzo Carpathian, the world's leading authority and researcher on small parasitic insects of the family Cimicidae, or more commonly called Cimex lectularius, or bedbugs, disclosed recently at a seminar held in Bulgaria, at the Consortium Regulata that under proper laboratory conditions the placenta produced, after birth, can be dehydrated and then reconstituted, the resulting residue of which can be used in the production of a new drug, Neprudentianalothal.
Neprudentianalothal when taken in a controlled environment and under extremely regulated conditions has proven to be effective in the treatment of Pityriasis simplex capillitii.
Carpathian stated, "As you can imagine, it is a very laborious procedure to collect the placenta after the newborn Cimicidae are born. It is all performed under microscopic conditions. To collect enough of the material to be of use in our experiment it is necessary to locate approximately four thousand impregnated females, all who are close to term. The placenta is then mixed with virgin olive oil from the Metapolis Region in Greece, (because of unique soil characteristic qualities) and yellow food coloring, dried, and then put in pill form."
He further stated, "In out tests program, consisting of two hundred volunteers from Flushing, New York, 100 of which used the Neprudentianalothal, ninety-eight percent of those using the Neprudentianalothal showed a marked improvement in their condition. The half not using the experimental drug continued to have a problem with their dandruff."
As soon as enough product can be manufactured, the product will be available exclusively at The Mattress Mart, which is the leading supplier of the impregnated bedbugs.