Waldo Found, Forced to Pay Child Support
Mexico City, Mexico - The twenty-year search for Waldo is over. The beloved star of the book series "Where's Waldo" disappeared in 1987 from his home just outside of London, England. A group of children spotted him at a beach in Southern Mexico.
Read full storyNo Worries Mate? Rising Inflection No Longer Interrogative?
Australian actresses and pseudo-Aussie dickingtons need no longer be ashamed of their defining speech mannerism! "Brace yourself Sheila?" - The best-known Australian courtship ritual is now recognised as a statement, not a question. For all thi...
Read full storyRevealed: The Mystery of the Piranha Found in Devon River
It sounds like a Monty Python sketch - 'The Dead Piranha Sketch'. At first, mystery surrounded the discovery of a 14 inch piranha in a Devon River. Environment agency staff were sampling the riverbank were amazed to discover the strange looking f...
Read full storyMats Sundin will take to ice in Vancouver Canucks season opener dressed as team mascot.
VANCOUVER -BC: After dithering away half the season last year and then lumbering across the ice like an overfed, out-of-shape beluga, Mats Sundin is once again back to playing his one-man hide-and-seek game with the Vancouver Canucks. According t...
Read full story"Wouldn't piss on his goddam coffin if it was on fire!"
Kennebunkport - (Chappaquiddick Mess): "Goddam bastard killed my sister Mary Jo. Now this frickin bell book n candle freakshow? Send Dubya if he's sober. Hell'll freeze over before I budge." President George Bush Senior is boycotting Mary Jo Kope...
Read full storyGeorge Bush and Dick Cheney Accidently Shoot Each Other in the Face
Crawford TX - A spokesman for ex-President Bush said Dick Cheney arrived this morning for a "sit down" with George Bush. The spokesman acknowledged that George Bush had been upset with remarks that Dick Cheney had released to the press in recent mont...
Read full storyNew British Army head pledges to defend Britain
General Sir David Richards has pledged to focus on the defence of the United Kingdom, as he takes over the post as head of the British Army. 'It will be no easy task', he said, 'as we must use all of our resources to fight back against the almost...
Read full storyNaked Man Crashes School Bus, Interrupts Chicken and Beer Session w/Ludacris
ATLANTA, GA - A man in the nude hijacked a school bus full of teenagers Thursday in Atlanta, said police. Students were only able to laugh and torment their naked captor for a couple of minutes before he finally had to confront a student, accordin...
Read full storyUS Spoofers admit problems in understanding their Brit colleagues' very "Black Humour"
Regular Brit Spoof forum participants have recently began to realise that some of their US colleagues live on a different "Satirical Planet"! Recent forum altercations between some US Spoofers and their Brit colleagues have proven that satirical h...
Read full storyEdward "Ted" Kennedy: "Top Shelf" or just "Bargain Basement"?
(New York-NY) Ted Kennedy, the Lion of the Senate or given his girth more like the Whale, died this week. The 40-year Senator eulogized by politicians while Twitter tweets "Mary Jo Kopechne is probably giving Ted an earful right now as he makes his descent into purgatory for a LONG time." What does it mean, not for the Kennedy legacy but for me? Hey, I never claimed to be a saint or even Irish Cat...
Read full storyAverage Adult Entertainments Industry Worker Goes Blind Within Six Years
A new study by Playguy of its own staff shows that the average time employees last is six years, but they usually leave when their vision can still be saved by wearing special lens in their glasses. When the study was completed, Playguy, out of c...
Read full storyJACKO Report: Readership Decline Threatens Entitlement Programs at "The Spoof"
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Even as some spoof writers lobbied vigorously for the largest expansion of veteran writer entitlements in The Spoof's history, a report from the site's Jackson Aftermath Comedy Kickback Operative (JACKO) indicates that key spoof v...
Read full storyFootball hooliganism rears it's lovely head, especially when the Milwall Firm wants some BOVVVER!
The British authorities thought they had Hooliganism under control, well think again Mother F*ckers, the boys are back in town, big time! Attempting to obliterate Hooliganism in the UK is roughly the same as cutting off Medusa's heads, wiping out...
Read full storyNorth Pole Tragedy
A Polish criminal living in Glasgow was knocked down and killed while out celebrating after legally changing his name. Peter Kowsky 33 originally from Warsaw took the unusual step of applying to the courts to become Mr.Deed Poll in an attempt to m...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Transports $2 Million In Jewels In A Pair of Panties
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Actress Lindsay Lohan last week made a statement to the LAPD that someone had broken into her home and stolen her safe, a safe weighing 3,591 pounds. When Miss Lohan was asked by LAPD Detective Hank Battlecreek what the contents...
Read full storyScientists Harness Power from Bad Journalism
The world's energy problems might have been solved by a group of scientists in Oxford who have found a way to store power released by bad journalism. The twin calamities of tautologies (an unnecessary repetition of meaning using different words) a...
Read full storyNew Spoof Readers' Wives striptease section a winner
Cyberspace - (Reuters & Ass Mess): The online publishing industry is gobsmacked at the success of the newly launched Spoof Readers' Wives striptease section that has seen a lot of midnight ejaculate - er, ratings! - hit the roof. Franchised by...
Read full storyHard Right's Mysterious Doings In The Wilds Of Alaska
A huge luxury yacht leased by the dastardly Dick Cheney, once a member of the notorious Bush gang, has been seen plying the waters of Glacier Bay National Park in Alaska. Only a month before the sailing yacht belonging to Ruppert Murdoch was also...
Read full storyPlastination nutter Von HaagenDaz says Kennedy left his body to science
Berlin - (Ass Mess): It was always Senator Ted Kennedy's dying wish was to be plastinated by German anatomist Gunther Von Haagendaz according to a press release today. And now the embalming nutter wants to start stripping away those corpulent laye...
Read full storyBernie Madoff Now Accused Of Singing Frog Swindle
Apparently alongside his crooked investment schemes, officers have now discovered that Bernie Madoff stole millions more by selling the same "Singing Frog" over and over again. "First he'd use a really big toad and hide a small bug made in Japan u...
Read full storySantilli to issue Ted Kennedy autopsy video
Groom Lake, Nevada - (X-Files Mess): Master mortician Ray Santilli is to publish his Ted Kennedy autopsy video amid concerns the Massachussetts senator was an alien hybrid. The Roswell specialist reckons he has proof that Rose FitzGerald Kennedy's...
Read full storyBan Ki-moon "asks firmly" to speak with Iran
The UN Security Council has been thrown into chaos with the revelation that UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon was "firm" in an email to Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. The normally reserved South Korean, who once went without a pen for two w...
Read full storyMacaulay Culkin Writes A Tell-All Book On Michael Jackson
LOS ANGELES - Actor Macaulay Culkin who knew Michael Jackson just about as well as anyone has just published a book that deals with his close friendship with the 'Gloved One.' The book is titled Neverland Was Originally Named The N Word Land. Culk...
Read full storyBoozy Brits Drink 80 Beers In One Week Holiday
In a shock report, the Ministry of Health has announced that British holidaymakers habitually drink 80 beers in a one-week holiday! "This is disgusting" says Health Minister Gillian Merron "they are risking their health and wellbeing for momentary...
Read full storyThe Second Genesis
According to last night on BBC 4, we are apparently on the verge of a nervous breakthrough. Cell research has progressed to the point where we can make a new generation of the human race without shagging each other. Admittedly that could be a good thing. There never has been any insurance policy against waking up in bed with an absolute minger after several ales. At first I thought a second gen...
Read full storyThe Search for the American Left
With the passing of Edward Kennedy America has apparently lost an icon of the left. But did the left ever exist? In a nation which recently paralleled fixing some skint person's teeth for free, with the immediate re-emergence of Stalin, how left can it be? In the UK you could probably stick your hand down the back of the sofa and come up with an anarchist trying to blow up an oil rig. In Ameri...
Read full storyAging Vets Send Questionnaire to Aging Dem Politicians: Why don't you check out instead?
Pork Chop Hill Nusing Home/ Arlington, Va/ Veterans News - In a response to a condescending questionaire by the Obama Health Care Death Squads, a hastily formed platoon of aging Korean War Vets prepared their own 'Quality of Life" guide sheet for a h...
Read full storyTwo Pensioners Enraged over Edinburgh Fringe Festival Joke
Two pensioners living in Stirling are considering suing comedian Dan Antopolski for making a joke out of their names. The 36-year-old funnyman won a prize, the 'Dave Award' for the best joke of the entire Edinburgh fringe comedy festival. Ed Jogs...
Read full storyTed Kennedy Died Because Death Squad Denied Him Medical Coverage
Senator Ted Kennedy was one of the first people to be covered under Barack Obama's new Health Care Plan. His death was actually a result of his not being approved to received medical treatment after being turned down by a "death squad." Head of t...
Read full storyMadonna explains American comments
Madonna said she was compelled to comment on the discrimination against Americans while she was on stage in Romania, despite being laughed at by everyone. The 61-year old was laughed at by millions after saying the discrimination 'made me realise...
Read full storyChanging times: Swearing, Censorship, Ofcom and Keats
This week, Ofcom will release new legislation for swearing on TV. Frank Miller investigates the past, present and future of what is termed 'Classical English'. Times change We're aware of the changing times where swear words from yesterday may not be deemed offensive by todays standards. A History lesson Did you know that English bylaws of the 1800's stated that public flogging was a reg...
Read full storyAustrian dungeonmaster Fritzl behind Jaycee Lee Dugard abduction?
El Dorado - (Reuterus): Was jailed Austrian incest nutter Joseph Fritzl the inspiration behind Phillip Garrido's 1991 abduction and impregnation of 11 year-old US schoolgirl Jaycee Lee Dugard? California police are probing the claim after a tipoff...
Read full storyMichael Jackson definitely alive
It has once again been confirmed that Micahel Jackson is alive and well, this time working as deputy manager serving in the downtown Minnesota branch of Kentrucky Tried Chicken. The manager of the branch, a portly gentleman in a white suit called...
Read full storyApollo-11 landing fakers gave Dutch PM spoof rock
Amsterdam - (Dark Side of the Moon Mess): A lump of petrified wood sourced to some paranoid Texan Bushes and billed as a genuine moonrock was given to Dutch PM Willem Drees by the Apollo-11 landing fakers. The alien artefact was found near the Buz...
Read full storyA Czar of Czars
The venerable question that has bewildered scholars and thinkers of the Bolshevistic persuasion since Peter the Great is: how many czars does a czar need, and does a czar need a czar to watch over his czars? The urgency for an answer to the preceding query manifested itself in the most incongruous manner. During a meeting in the Oval Office, while deliberating the necessity of appointing a s...
Read full storyGovernment Outsourcing
ADVERTISEMENT Tenders are invited for the supply of a United Kingdom government. The present public/private partnership has broken down, is obsolescent and must be replaced before next April Fool's Day. It is envisaged that companies such as Halliburton, Brown& Root and the Royal Bank of Scotland would be exemplary offerors. Scope Of Supply: Offerors are to provide a complete gover...
Read full storyMichael Jackson to Be Buried Above Marilyn Monroe
Los Angeles, Ca., USA The reasoning behind the numerous delays in laying Michael Jackson's decaying corpse to rest were cleared up today when Elsie Poncher announced that representatives of Jackson's estate had purchased the vault directly above the...
Read full storyObama Orders 300M Copies Of Birth Certificate
Washington, DC - At a press conference held in the White House West Wing, Press Secretary Robert Gibbs has announced President Obama is going to address the concerns of birthers, and those sitting on the fence. "As I speak, President Obama is sign...
Read full storyPrison Break Based on True Story
North Dakota - A producer of the TV Series Prison Break, came forward with the news that Prison Break is based on the forgotten prison break incident at North Dakota State Penitentiary in 1961. The government never televised information about the...
Read full storyTed Kennedy's Head Still Alive, Attached To 16-Year-Old Female Body
Ted Kennedy is not only alive but he's having more fun than a cat with five peckers according to an inside source who asked that he not be named or "all those wild conspiracy theories will spring up again. "The next thing you know there'll be witn...
Read full storyTed Kennedy Actually Dead Ten Hours Before it was Reported
In a stunning news announcement, it was learned today that Ted Kennedy was actually dead for ten hours before it was reported. Instead of dying in his home on Tuesday evening, it actually happened in the early afternoon. One of those involved, sp...
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