Aging Vets Send Questionnaire to Aging Dem Politicians: Why don't you check out instead?

Funny story written by Morse

Friday, 28 August 2009

image for Aging Vets Send Questionnaire to Aging Dem Politicians: Why don't you check out instead?
Message to Obama: "We Ain't Dead Yet!"

Pork Chop Hill Nusing Home/ Arlington, Va/ Veterans News - In a response to a condescending questionaire by the Obama Health Care Death Squads, a hastily formed platoon of aging Korean War Vets prepared their own 'Quality of Life" guide sheet for a host of over the hill Democratic Congressional Leaders attempting to manage their earthly departure.

Long known as a haven for former High School Presidents, and sons and daughters of wealthy or connected parents, the US Congress has been loathe to have their right to govern questioned, a right they feel entitled to due to decades in office.

Elected officials have long been living on the teat of the American Taxpayer, and while receiving a "modest" salary in the neighborhood of $165,000 a year, receive perks involving cost of living allowances, a golden parachute retirement package, and complete, and I mean real complete HEALTH CARE PACKAGE that will not be dropped if the Obama/Emanuel health rationing system goes into effect.

The questionnaire addressed : TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN was sent to the following Democrats amongst others:

Robert Byrd (91) Frank Lautenerg (85) Danuel Inouye (84)

David Akaka (84) Aarlen Spector (79) Diane Feinstein (76)

Carl Levin (75) Herb Kohl (?) Barbara Wikulski (73)

Jay Rockefellar (72) Roland Burris (72) Harry Reid (69)

Nancy Pelosi (69) Barbara Boxer (68) Chris Dodd (66)

The following is a sampling of some of the questions the retired vets wanted answers on:

  • Do you find the Phrase "It's 5 O'clock somewhere" makes it ok to drink at 8
  • Is the bill for your mini bar in the limo higher than your weekly food budget?
  • How many viagra pills are we, the taxpayer, subsidizing you for?(males only)
  • How much are you paying the family lawyer on retainer to cover your ass?
  • After three (3) four (4) hour days at work, how do you fill the rest of the day?
  • How much of your time is spent on fund raising?
  • How many relatives do you currently have on your payroll. And for how much?
  • Why don't you have time to read the bills you vote on?
  • Do you and your spouse(partner) sleep in separate bedrooms?
  • Do you remember your kids names and birthdays?
  • Have you ever served your country in a military uniform?
  • Have you ever had a real job?
  • Are you a good listener?
  • Would you switch parties after being elected if you know it would help your next election campaign?
  • Have you paid your taxes. All your Taxes?
  • What internet Dating Service do you usually use when in DC?
  • Has your government heath care plan paid for any botox/lyposuction lately? If so, what area of your body was the procedure performed?
  • Who are your favorite lobbyists, and why?
  • Have you had a bridge, highway or Airport named after you recently?
  • Are you on the top ten list for 'earmarks', if so why?
  • In a 140 character snippet, please justify your position and why we should vote for you.

According to White House spokesman Robert Gibbs the questionnaire represents an outpouring of far right thinking, rabble rousing, and gun toting wing nuts who are not in touch with reality. "Luckily", he said, "they all die off soon!"

There are about 3 living Vets from WWII still around and kicking.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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