American has mishap with goggle box
Visitor to Cape Breton by the sea, American businessman Heft Adar, suffered irreparable brain damage in his cottage sometime late Tuesday. Early Wednesday morning, Mr. Adar was found in his room in somewhat of a fog. The cottage housekeeper opened th...
Read full storyNew sex symbols preferred
Confusion over sexual identity symbols has grown over the last thirty years. A citizens committee comprised of poets, writers, actors and religious leaders has selected four symbols to convey sexual interest and affiliation.
Read full storyPrince Harry brings war home
Prince Harry is to be allowed to continue his mission back here in the UK.
Read full storyClinton gets behind In campaign promises
Washington AC-DC (Kea Toff) - Sen. Hillarity Clinton (Female-Bitch party) has taken a manly stance in the battle for isometry for any and all fetishistic Americans. She vowed to totally trash the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't See, Do...
Read full storyIn Seine Found In Model
Following some strange moaning noises emanating from a snowbound garden shed in Shrewsbury, Shropshire, England, police were called by concerned neighbours. When police gained entry, they found a man and a woman in the throes of
Read full storyMayall joins Beadle Biopic Cast
Rik Mayall is the latest actor to join the cast of a film charting the life of the late prankster and You've Been Framed Host Jeremy Beadle. The film is to be released later this year and already has Charlie Clements aka Bradley from Eastenders a...
Read full story2008 Peabody Awards Announced
The 2008 Peabody Awards were announced Sunday morning and the nominees this year in electronic media range from controversial, to funny, to novice.
Read full storyModel Found In Seine
Supermodel Katoucha Aged 47 had long been a campaigner against female circumcision, having undergone the same practice as a 9 year-old girl in her native Guinea. She had even written a book on the subject. It is believed it was revie...
Read full storyHaut de la Garenne was a Godsend
A former pupil of Jersey's Industrial Schools, Flogan Horrance, tells Tarina Phreemoan that, contrary to popular belief, for many children Haut de la Garenne was a Godsend One can't imagine words like kindness, compassion and mercy regularly...
Read full storyHugo Chavez and Chairman Mao Never in Same Room
Cucarrachas, Venezuela (IPP) - World leaders attending a United Nation Security Council meeting announced over the UN's PA system that Chairman Mao Tse-tung and Venezuela President Hugo Chavez had never been seen in the same room at the same ti...
Read full storyMortgage Crisis Hits White House; Bush Faces Eviction Notice
Washington, D.C. In an apparent suicide attempt, George Bush leaped out of a window, Tuesday. White House officials reported that he sustained only minor cuts and scratches, as he fell from a ground floor window in the West Wing of W...
Read full storyBrad Pitt mistakenly auditioned for 'Shite Club'
When Brad Pitt was first offered the role of Tyler Durden in Fight Club, he thought the movie would be called 'Shite Club', according to director David Fincher in an recent interview with The Watchtower:...
Read full storyPrince Harry Rejects 'Hero' Sandwich, asks for bath at Bosworth Field instead
Prince Harry insists he is not up for a hero and hails the "humbling' bravery of his mates and squaddies who can eat any size or amount of sandwiches, as well as go days without bathing.
Read full storyMinuteman Militia Extends Mexican Tunnel to USA
San Pablo, Texas (IPP) - American members of the anti-immigration group known as the Minutemen stumbled onto a tunnel from Mexico to the USA the other day along the Mexican-American border.
Read full storyMexico Lands Astronauts on Mars
Mexico City, Mexico (IPP) - The Mexican Aeronautics and Space Administration (MASA) has successfully landed three manned and three unmanned spacecraft on the planet Mars.
Read full storyAshington Earthquake Disaster Fund
A group has set up a disaster fund following the major earthquake measuring 5.3 on the Richter Scale which hit in the early hours of Wednesday morning at 12:56 a.m. Its epicentre was Ashington, Northumberland.
Read full storyArmy covering up Harry Afghani marriage secrets fiasco
London - (Gut-wrenching Mess): Foreign Orifice sources have strenuously denied that the Drudge Report's crediting with Prince Harry's sudden Afghani recall is a government PR masterpiece.
Read full storyOpus Dei paranoia as cops probe murder of supermodel found in Seine
Paris - (Delusional Mess): Last week's discovery of the naked, decomposing body of Guinean supermodel Katoucha Niane has sent French Opus Dei apparatchiks screaming with paranoia.
Read full storyPope Benedict Has Sex Change
Superstar representative of God on Earth, His Supreme Highness Pope Benedict XVI has had a sex change - so claims a Vatican insider.
Read full storyLove on the horizon for Elton and Cher
Gossips are reporting Ben Elton and Cher have been seen enjoying a meal together at a top Camden restaurant. Passers by said they seemed to be very intimate.
Read full storyEastenders to move production
BBC bosses are planning to move production of Eastenders to India. All of the cast and crew are set to be replaced in a massive shake up that will save the BBC millions of pounds a year.
Read full storyCasualty mix up costs a life
Edna Jeffries, 74 from Easton in Bristol, humorously lost her life yesterday as a taxi driver whom she flagged down mistook her for a cast member of Bristol based drama Casualty.
Read full storyPrince returns from active service in Afghanistan
Ministry of Defence successfully abort mission following leak that funk-rock-pop pioneer fighting for British Army in Afghanistan...
Read full storyPrince Harry accompanied by Two Blondes seen falling out of a Kabul Nightclub completely Rat Arsed
GB News has just announced on its Website that reporter Gordon Bennet has been detained by MI6 in Kabul for revealing the whereabouts of Prince Harry...
Read full storySupreme Thomas Proves to Be Dumb!
Judge Clarence Thomas has not spoken a word in Supreme Court proceedings in over two years. His numerous critics have deplored his appointment, by the father of the worst President ever GW Bush, as the replacement for historic First African American...
Read full storyReverse Mortgages Drive Elderly to Poor House
Maude Gonne-Broke had a nice little house paid for free and clear and a small pension from her lifetime as a nurse. That was, until her friendly neighborhood banker convinced her to sign her house over to the bank for a monthly reverse mortgage check...
Read full storyStallWallScrawl: Special Lenten Addition
StallWallScrawl has sampled Catholic Stalls to bring you this Special Lenten Edition!:...
Read full storyMcCain Able To Accept All Endorsements, No Matter How Hateful
In an ironically fratricidal development, "Son Of Cain", Republican near-certain Presidential nominee Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) seems to welcome every racist and sexist hate-mongering endorsement he can get - No matter what harm it does to hi...
Read full storyInternational Terrorist Mas Selamat spotting and the top five 999 calls
Caller number one...
Read full storyFormer President Clinton prefers Obama over Hillary
(Washington, DC)--According to an informed source who requested to remain anonymous (Gennifer Flowers), former President Bill Clinton has decided to support Barack Obama rather than his wife Hillary Clinton for President of the United States.
Read full storyAG Mucousey Congests Contempt Citations Vs Bush Lackies
Heavy as viscous phlegm the obstruction of justice against Bush associates Meiers and Bolton reminds Americans of the dark days of AG under Nixon and recent roadblock to just law, Alberto Gonzalez.
Read full storyPeru Meteorite Crater Hit by New Meteorite
Lima Beana, Peru (IPP) - Scientists report that the Peru meteorite which is inside the crater it created when it hit the Earth has been hit by another meteorite.
Read full storyLAFagHagSlagMag poaching top satirical writer
Cyberspace - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): The top-selling Californian celeb-watch publication LAFagHagSlagMag is believed to be creaming off the internet's best satirical writers after a consortium of bigoil interests admitted pooling their ma...
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