(Washington, DC)--According to an informed source who requested to remain anonymous (Gennifer Flowers), former President Bill Clinton has decided to support Barack Obama rather than his wife Hillary Clinton for President of the United States.
"He called me the other night and just blurted it out," Flowers declared under penalty of surgery. "I think Obama has more soul than Hillary. He's just more cool, and you know how I feel about cool people," the former President said to the blonde bombshell.
Other anonymous sources (the entire Hillary for President Campaign Committee) said there was no truth to the secret informant's statements. "There is no way Bill would ever betray his wife," they declared in unison. "Certainly not for that no-good-for-nothing blonde bombshell who just wants more publicity for her hot sizzling tell-all book. Some ladies are just jealous of Hillary and her sexy husband who will stand by his woman to the very end."
This reporter contacted the former President for his reaction to the secret informant's claims. "I did not have sex with that woman!" Bill Clinton promptly uttered. "No, Mr. Clinton," I replied. "My question is are you going to announce your support for Obama instead of Hillary this week?"
"It depends on what you mean by 'support'," Mr. Clinton said. "I think Obama is pretty cool but Hillary; well Hillary she's my wife. I can't just kick her to the curb because she's losing."
"What do you see in Obama?" I asked the former President. "Well you know some people say I was the first Black President because of how cool I am. Obama maybe he could teach me some things about really being a Black President. Wouldn't that be even more cool? It would be for me, man! You ever try being a Black anything when you're not?"
When asked if he was showing racial preference to Obama because the candidate was Black, Mr. Clinton said, "Sure, but don't print that. I mean what am I as the first Black President of the United States to do...or am I White? Whatever man, Obama's just so cool."
Mr. Clinton continued, "I play some mean saxophone, you know. Maybe Obama could cut a rug on some of my more swinging tunes. His wife and Hillary could back us up on tambourines...catch my drift?"
"Are you on medication?" I asked the former President. "Seriously sir, are you losing it?"
"Naw man, I'm not losing it, Hillary is!" Mr. Clinton exclaimed. "I told her I wasn't really the Black President they said I was. It's not my fault I'm not the real thing."
Ms. Flowers said she was still going to vote for Hillary "just to make Bill mad. I don't give a rat's ass about Bill anymore. He kicked me to the curb and now it's my turn," she shrieked.