Newly-Discovered Adolf Hitler Diary Blames Spike Milligan For His Downfall
A newly-discovered diary belonging to the Nazi dictator, Adolf Hitler, which was found in an old lady's attic in Shropshire, contains previously unknown facts about the despot, and highlights reasons for his downfall, which include British comic, Spi...
Read full storyAnne Robinson And Judge Judy Are The Newest Members Of The PussyCat Dolls!
The manager of the pop tarts Pussycat Dolls, has kicked out two members of the loveable hooker group and has replaced them with celebrity hard women; Anne Robinson and Judge Judy Sheindlin. The manager defending his decision said " The Pussycat D...
Read full storyDavid Bowie Is New Doctor Who
The BBC has tonight revealed that aging crooner, David Bowie, is to be the new Doctor Who, succeeding Scottish actor David Tennant, who is leaving the show to concentrate on his first love, Porn Films. Bowie, pronounced BOH-EE (with the BOH as in...
Read full storyNew York Mayor Bloomberg's HOV Plans
Mayor Bloomberg of New York City has come up with what he considers to be a brilliant plan to save the city from financial disaster and curb the massive daily flow of traffic through Manhattan. In addition to the tolls he plans to exact from the c...
Read full storyWorld famous astrologer says "Stars foretell that Pakistan territory will end up being divided within 3 months because of its own calumnies"
LONDON - Famous astrologer Crystal Ballz says "things do not look good for Pakistan". Ms. Ballz is well-known for her famous predictions including the election of Barck Obama, the breakup of Madonna and Guy Ritchie and the birth of the Brangelina tw...
Read full storyPregnant Robots to be given Right to Terminate Pregnancies
A worldwide debate has erupted after technology industry giant Cyberdyne Systems proposed that their T700 range of robots be allowed to have abortions as standard. A Cyberdyne spokesperson outlined the plans: "Here at Cyberdyne we believe that...
Read full storySex Change Weekends Are Here
Getting in touch with your feminine side could be a weekend thing with news that scientists at the Edinburgh Institute for the Sexually Confused have created a drug which allows temporary sex-changes. The drug works by suppressing the body's nat...
Read full storyMafia Receives $300 Billion Bailout From Congress
Washington DC-- Congress awarded the Mafia a much-needed emergency cash bailout for $300 billion today. The unusual early moring session was held at 2AM behind closed doors. The measure was passed in the House, 435-0. The bill was folded into a p...
Read full storyLittle Adolf Hitler Denied Birthday Cake
In Barton, Pennsylvania, the father of 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Cardwell, who was denied a birthday cake with the child's full name on it by one New Jersey supermarket, is asking for a little tolerance from the community. Heath Cardwell and his wif...
Read full storyBush Gets Booty-Call
An irate Iraqi journalist threw his shoes at almost-outta-here President Bush and it's raised more than its share of questions. The journalist has been called a Foot Soldier, and a Shoe-in for an end-of-the-year 2008 video montage, even if the wat...
Read full storyNihilists Join Non-Believers in Holiday Struggle
Nihilists joined atheists, humanists and other non-religious groups in a campaign to wrest control of the holiday season from Christians and Jews. The United Nihilist Front (UNF) released a statement yesterday promising complete cooperation with non...
Read full storyJK Rowling Condemned To Death By Spanish Inquisition
Harry Potter authoress Joanne (JK) Rowling was today condemned to death by the Spanish Inquisition. Issuing the condemnation, the leader of the Inquisition, Joseph (HH) Ratzinger, said: 'Ja, Miss Rowling has been found guilty of spreading heresy,...
Read full storyBrown takes the 'soggy' biscuit!
A recent video stolen from MI5's bugging project of 10 Downing Street, has been leaked on to You Tube showing how Gordon Brown was really chosen by Blair to become his successor. Rumours were rife in 2003 about a secret deal the two may have made...
Read full storyJesus Healed Ten Leopards
It has been claimed that Jesus once healed ten leopards, and so can add animal faith healing to his already impressive superhero's CV. He famously turned water into wine, putting his local off-licence Schmaddows out of business, walked across the...
Read full storyGangs and Guns Rule Scouseland's Streets
Chief Inspector Rigby Ratstamper, commander of Liverpool North's Plod Squad, told the media "Guns are the weapon of choice for the teenage gangs of Europe's Capital of Culture 2008." "Of course if the little scrotes can't afford a gun then any old w...
Read full storyJonathan Ross's Unpaid Wages Used Wisely For £45,00 BBC Party !
The down-to-earth bosses at the Beeb, have wisely spent the money, they probably saved on paying Jonathan Woss's salary for a week. By throwing a luxury party costing £45,000. Hooray! Many of the public can be happy in the knowledge, that their l...
Read full storyNew York Governor Proposes 880 New Taxes
New York's Governor has proposed $121 billion budget hits New Yorkers in their iPods, condoms, use of city toilets, libraries, street bum's intake for the day, shoe shines, dog turds, opening refrigerators - and nickels-and-dimes them in lots of othe...
Read full storyObama White House Leaseback Agreement
Taking a page from Bill Clinton's playbook, representatives of the future Obama White House will be meeting with the Marriott Hotels Group to arrange a leaseback agreement whereby the White House occupants, President and all, relocate to the basement...
Read full storyPaul Ince Successor Is Leader Of 'Barclays Fantasy Premier League 2008/2009'
Blackburn Rovers F.C., who sacked their previous manager, Paul Ince, on Tuesday, have acted swiftly to replace him by recruiting the leading 'manager' of an online fantasy football game as their new boss. Douw Geldenhuys, 48, the present manager o...
Read full story'British Troops Have Died Pointlessly To Keep American Colonialists Happy', admits Brown
British Prime Minister Gordon Brown today admitted that British soldiers have only been in Iraq to keep right-wing American colonialists happy, and that many of them have died simply to make Americans richer. 'I admit it all', the former left-wing...
Read full storyGordon Brown meets Iraqi press and puts his best shoe forward
UK Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, arrived in Iraq for a surprise visit today and was greeted by a large contingent of Iraqi press. Following the shoe throwing incident that marred George W Bush's visit, Mr Brown was welcomed effusively, momentaril...
Read full storyBush resigns to join CNN as a journalist - to hurl shoes at future U.S Presidents
Illinois Chicago, In a move that has shocked the entire world, US president George W. Bush has resigned from the presidency a few weeks before he is officially due. The president read his resignation letter at a press conference organized by the US S...
Read full storyJessica Simpson Releases Reggae Christmas CD
Desperate to find a recording medium and a musical genre where she might be successful, without being booed by her audience that is, Jessica Simpson is set to release a new Christmas CD done in Reggae style. Teaming up with former Ziggy Marley band...
Read full storySpoon Crime On The Rise!
As all knifes have been banned from the United Kingdom, criminals have now moved to the last vestige of weapons available to them - spoons and forks. Government propaganda outlets have released made up scary spun figures out of thin air in order to s...
Read full storyAspartame Banned World-Wide by WTO
NEW YORK - UPDATE 1 FDA approves stevia as a sweetener due to TheSpoof readers calls and letters! World Trade Organization, United States liaison, Dr. Atsdied, gave this exclusive scoop to TheSpoof, minutes ago. Dr. Atsdied told TheSpoof, "Due to the problems caused by the sweetener aspartame, we have banned world trade of this substance. That is why stevia is being prepared for us...
Read full storyDe Niro's Righteous Kill movie sued by De Menezes estate
London - (OMFG! Mess): UK anti-terror cops 'may have been adversely influenced' by a poster advertising Robert De Niro's movie Righteous Kill according to a lawsuit filed by lawyers acting for Jean Charles De Menezes' estate. The Brazilian electri...
Read full storyDroylsden v. Chesterfield Match To Be Played At Wembley To Avoid Any Further Skullduggery
In the aftermath of the Droylsden v. Chesterfield FA Cup second round abandonement last night, the FA have now taken the extraordinary decision to schedule the game for a Wembley showdown this Saturday, 20th December, to avoid any further blunders.
Read full storyFire Service Cutbacks
The Greater Manchester Fire Service has announced that it has to find savings of thirty percent over the coming financial year. Unions are adamant that no fire service personnel will be lost, with the service already running at the safe minimum numbe...
Read full storyBlack Light Could be Bright
SPACE - Strange black light, which likely causes space to keep getting darker, seems to have another effect: It prevents white light from getting too bright. Astronomers used torches to study the formation of the black light on a dark night. Thei...
Read full storyChampion of Ghazni- Part II
Mahmud: -- You wretched downcast infidel, how can this piece of f-ing marble be called a god? -- Why not. What is yours made of? -- Nothing. -- Well, well. Then, nothing comes out of nothing. -- Shut up, you lecherous carnal-minded voluptuous infidel. What does this piece of … offer you? -- Solace; peace; hope; life. -- How do you mean? -- Well, after a day's backbreaking w...
Read full storyJehovah's Witnesses to Deliver Mail
In a move that proponents say will save the federal government millions of dollars, the United States Postal Service announced today that the Watchtower Bible And Tract Society will begin having it's members deliver the mail. Known as Jehovah's W...
Read full storyJesse Jackson Jr Kept Spyin' Alive
The politico son of Minister Jackson, high priest of the Church of Keep Hope Alive and diddler of young sweet black thangs, Jesse Jackson Jr has revealed his identity as a FBI mole since the age of 11. Among Jackson Jr's contributions have been h...
Read full storyLevi Johnson wanted for questioning in Wasilla Church arson case
Levi Johnson, better known as the young father of Bristol Palin's child, momentary celebrity, and disgruntled fu@%ing redneck is considered a 'person of interest' in the arson investigation by the local Wasilla police. "Levi hasn't been seen arou...
Read full storyDr. Tucker - Therapist To The Kids
AUSTIN, Texas - Dr. Sinclair Tucker received his therapeutic pediatric license in 1999, from Solid State University in San Antonio, Texas. He later attended Winnipeg's prestigious Shania Twain College where he received his poetic license. Tucker has been practicing pediatric therapy in Austin for nearly 20 years. He has just published his tenth children's book. His latest publication is enti...
Read full storyMonica Lewinsky joins Fellow Clinton Associates on Obama Team
The change that Obama promised America appears to be shaping up to be a season of reruns from the Clinton years. Rahm Emmanuel has come, O, come to ransom O from his idealism. John Podesta is managing the transition team and he has chosen former...
Read full storyFed Splurges on Toxic Securities
Chicago, IL - UPDATE 2 - Despite low demand for toxic securities and commercial paper, prices are rising due to Federal Sugar Daddy Fed Chairman, Ben 'Helicopter Monkey with it' Bernanke. No, we don't mean toxic like aspartame, these are toxic in...
Read full storyBush Leaves Briefs for Obama who Says that He's a Boxer Kind of Guy
When Obama heard that Bush was leaving briefs in the White House for him, he courteously yet firmly declared himself a boxer man. Further investigation revealed that Bush and his band of losers were preparing briefs to help Obama deal with possible c...
Read full storyCleaner Wiped out in Court
London - A bogus toilet cleaner accused of not cleaning thousands of toilets, was jailed for more than three years by a court today. Toddy Mcquire forged his toilet cleaners qualifications and posed as a licensed toilet cleaner for nearly nine yea...
Read full storyFederal Reserve Renounces Usury
In a moment of religious repentence the US Federal reserve has announced that it believes that the national and global economic crisis is due to violating the biblical injunction against lending money at interest. Fed Chairman and newly ordained...
Read full storyBlagojevich Sells Kennedy NY Seat
Rod Blagojevich who is closer to impeachment than Monica was to Slick's willie is now infamous for political bribery. The FBI investigations however have focused on the rank world of Chicago corruption. His crass bidding war for the Obama Senate...
Read full storyNicole Kidman To Do More Things Only Men Are Supposed To Do
Fresh of her didgeridoo scandal, or "didgerigate" as it is being called, Nicole Kidman is looking forward to offending more people by doing things previously only done by men. She has already made arrangements to pee in a urinal, and is currently see...
Read full storyBanks latest scam - Madoff revealed as poor OAP in Scunthorpe
In a bizarre twist last night, the latest revelations that the banks were duped by a multi-billionaire American fraudster have themselves been revealed as a fraudulent scam. Global financial institutions claim to have lost billions on a pyramid inve...
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