Illinois Chicago, In a move that has shocked the entire world, US president George W. Bush has resigned from the presidency a few weeks before he is officially due. The president read his resignation letter at a press conference organized by the US Secretary of State, Condoleeza Rice.
In an earlier statement released to international newsrooms, Bush gave a presidential decree which was also approved by the supreme court, effectively making him CNN's chief international correspondent.
"I am becoming a journalist so that I can accompany Ba ba bar bara what the F*ck?" Stammered the visibly confused president.
"Condi, Who changed this article...I mean speech....this is not how you spell his name...it is JaawOoown MAACAIN.....you cannot misspell the name of an incoming president" retorted Bush while staring angrily at Condi.
"Sir, I think Dick Cheney got you confused. His endorsement of McCain did not yield anything. McCain lost" Whispered Condoleeza Rice as she pointed to something in the paper Bush was holding.
"So you mean that skinny guy with a funny name will replace dubya? How come I wasn't told Condi?........anyway will sort that out later. In the meantime prepare another presidential decree banning that Obama guy from ever setting foot in the White House" added Bush.
"so as I was saying, from today I become the new CNN chief international correspondent, I have already rendered my resignation effective immediately so that I can join in the fun you journalists have while throwing shoes at presidents"
"I believe Laura has already prepared my itinerary and I start my new job now" said Bush as he dragged what looked like a white sack of size 10 shoes to the back row of the conference room that had about 100 international journalists.
Soon afterward John McCain who had accompanied the president decided to step in and give a bipartisan speech. As he climbed the podium, Bush was already at the back row grinning sheepishly as he waved 'hi fives' to his fellow 'journalist'.
"Lets do this shit, let us give this guy a taste of dubya" Bush said as he opened the white sack of shoes handing a few shoes to some of the journalists who were standing next to him.
Meanwhile McCain was delivering his speech. "Yes we can, yes we can, yes we can, fight with me, am an American, the fundamentals of the economy are correct, yes we can"
Bush hurled his first shoe and said "This is a gift from dubya; this is the farewell kiss, you dog!"
The ailing McCain didn't do anything, he couldn't duck because of his age. He stood there and absorbed all the blows. His former running mate and current wife Sarah Palin McCain was speechless, wondering what had become of her husband.
"He usually has energy and has grown a Joe six pack, those blows wont hurt him" Palin said as she ran to the back of the room either to stop dubya or find her riffle. It was not clear.
After throwing all shoes and everything he had (including his clothes) at McCain, he quickly grabbed a mic from a journalist on his right and said, "this is George dubya Bush reporting for CNN in Chicago"
Then whispered something to Condi who looked very surprised at him ".....hey Condi, recall that resignation letter, I think am better off standing up there as president. This journalist shit is boring. Throwing missiles at Ahmedinejad from Airforce One is more fun"
The naked Bush ran back to his waiting Limousine while shouting "Yes we can, yes we can, yes we can"
Then suddenly, "Bang, Bang, Bang" three shots hit Bush's ass from Palin's riffle. Sarah Palin McCain had shot the outgoing president for assaulting her hubby.
When asked to comment about the incident, Bush's family doctor said: "I think he is not well, the blow he received from the Iraqi journalist's shoe must have screwed up his brain. During our examination we found a crack on his forehead. We suspect his brain must have oozed out through the crack.......its probably the white mess the cleaner found at the press conference hall on Sunday"
Meanwhile CNN has denied ever issuing an offer letter to Bush. "Not in hell, that guy is full of shit, I don't hire crap" said Tod Torner the owner of CNN.
