Chinese Sports Additions for Beijing Olympics Wreak Havoc
Forget the extensive training now going on Worldwide as athletes prepare for the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games, scheduled for August. The Chinese have added new games to the Olympics competition and these are virtually all unknown sports outside of the...
Read full storyAldrich Ames parole plea-bargain hears Pentagon approved torture of witnesses to Bush's assassination of JFK
Washington AC/DC - (Mercenary Mess): A Parole Board hearing has listened to a plea bargain by former CIA/KGB double agent Aldrich Ames about Pentagon complicity in the sanction of torture of key JFK assassination witnesses.
Read full storyTheSpoof.com logo dead
TheSpoof.com- Spoofists all around the world have dropped their king sized packs of cheetos and stopped all the clocks in their homes to mourn the tragic death of TheSpoof.com's logo and mascot - Globey.
Read full storyAn Interview With Daniel Radcliffe.
I meet Daniel, star of the immensely popular Harry Potter series in a bar of his choice. To be bluntly honest it looks a bit rough and I am uncomfortable, though I can see why the young actor would enjoy visiting here. What with all the girls in low tops and skirts that some would mistake as belts.
Read full storyHillary Clinton Shoots Self In Foot
Managing to shoot herself in the foot over the sniper fire story in war torn Bosnia, Hillary Clinton has killed her candidacy. It's a done deal! In an attempt to present herself as an experienced presidential candidate, she gild the lily for the...
Read full storyScience Discovers Toxoplasma Gopii
Scientists have announced the discovery of Toxoplasma Gopii, a parasitic protozoa that attacks the human brain and causes the disease Gopoplasma.
Read full storyCorrupt Bastard Irish PM Ahern Says He's Leaving
Irish corrupt politician Bertie Ahern has announced today that he is retiring from the leadership of the potato-loving country and exiting from political life completely so that he can instead focus on collecting
Read full storyChina to Boycott Summer Olympics!
Chinese President Hu Jintao issued a statement stating that the People's Republic of China will not send a team to Beijing to participate in the Olympics. Jintao cited China's poor record on human rights and the environment as primary reason...
Read full storyAlex Jones Ventures Into Children's Toy Market
AUSTIN, TX - National talk show host and documentary film-maker Alex Jones will soon add "Toy Maker" to his resume following the announcement he made on his daily radio show yesterday. During the broadcast, the conspiracy...
Read full storyGeorge Bush Concedes Defeat in War for Iraqi Oil
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - President George Bush and presidential candidate John McCain have conceded defeat in the US war for Iraqi oil, the pair indicated at a White House press conference on Thursday.
Read full storyObama's Pastor Apologizes
In a press release issued this afternoon from the underground bunker in his new $10 million home, retired Pastor Jeremiah Wright of Trinity United Church of Christ offered the following apology:...
Read full story"Hope Now" Becomes "Hope-Less" as Distressed Homeowners Shafted
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - Nearly 5,000 distressed homeowners call Hope Now, the White House-backed organization formed to help them, every day.
Read full storyMugabe Has His Own Press Conference; Announces Win
Following MDC Party President Morgan Tsvangirai's lead, Robert Mugabe called a press conference to announce his win in the Zimbabwean elections.
Read full storyMugabe Wins Election After Recount
Dr Robert Mugabe, the President of Zimbabwe for the last 64 years, has been announced as the winner of the country's Election after a recount of votes was carried out this morning.
Read full storySordid Arabia's mile high skyscraper erection branded as brothel fantasy
Jeddah, Sordid Arabia - (Camel's Ass Mess): Plans by Riyadh's top second hand car salesman Prince Alwaleed to erect Sordid Arabia's first mile high skyscraper have been branded a lurid brothel fantasy. The 5,200ft erection would consist of thousan...
Read full storyFrom Depp To Diapers
International Baby Nappies Giant Cuddles has reportedly offered Johnny Depp 30m dollars and nappies for life for any future child or grandchild he's going to have if he stars in a succession of television ads.
Read full storyNASA fears predators may exploit newly discovered 'baby planet'
NASA HQ - (Ass Mess): Scientists at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration have warned that predatory molesters are ready to cash in on images of a newly discovered 'baby planet'.
Read full storyHarry Potter Film Cursed
The sixth film installment of the hugely successful "Harry Potter" franchise is off to a rather dreary start. Plagued with collapsing sets and diseases running rampant through the young actors (mostly STIs) many are beginning to wonder if t...
Read full storyPrince leads school storytelling
American pop musician Prince led a storytelling circle yesterday at a small village school in Aberford, Leeds. He read Beatrix Potter's The Tale Of Peter Rabbit to 10 enthralled youngsters at Borrowdale Primary School.
Read full storyRoller Coasters: the Refuge of Cheap Thrill Seekers
Amusement park researchers have discovered that avid fans of roller coasters are cheap thrill seekers.
Read full storyWhat is it Girl? Has Iraq fallen into the well, again?!
Since Broadway can't seem to come up with any new, original hits, its latest recycled plot is Lassie: The Musical.
Read full storyJohnny McBushit: The Republican Presidential Franchise
The same old burgers, fries, shakes and foreign and domestic policy will be sold this fall to gullible consumers in the Republican Presidential Franchises calling themselves, Johnny McBushit.
Read full storyGlobal Subprime Mortgage Crisis
In a stunning interview that left the reporters stunned, and perhaps a little shocked and awed, today the head of the largest banking cartel in this solar system explained the recent collapse of our worldwide financial system.
Read full storyStudy: Number One Reason to Become a Marine Biologist? The Octopussy
Wild octopuses are far from being the melancholic and forlorn losers of their captive brethren. At Berkeley, a team of sexually deprived marine biologists were assembled and sent to the coast of Indonesia to party with the octopuses, and study their...
Read full storyDig yields ancient Parisian, accessories
Scientists have discovered the oldest human remains in western Europe.
Read full storyWhat's in a name No#666/911: IRAq's Newry Al Malarkey
Was IRAq Puppet Prime Monster Newry Al Malarkey chosen by the Bush Administration on the strength of his name alone?...
Read full storyPsychiatrist Discovers New Planet, Blames Its Erratic Orbit On Chemical Imbalance
While looking through the main telescope of the Winkenblinken Public Observatory last month, prominent psychiatrist A. Gorden Crumgranit discovered a previously unknown planet revolving around a nearby star. Astronomers have confirmed that the plane...
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