England Look Forward To Missing Lampard

Written by Mister Meaner

Tuesday, 4 September 2007

image for England Look Forward To Missing Lampard
Come on England!

England manager Steve McClaren can look forward to his team's Saturday kick-off against Israel with renewed optimism following the news that Chelsea midfielder Frank Lamp-post is ruled out through injury.

Lamp-post tore a thigh muscle last week in training, and will definitely not play in the Israel game, and is rated only 50-50 for next Wednesday's Cold War Clash with Russia, in games England must win if they are to stand a chance of qualifying for Euro 2008.

Speaking on the England website this afternoon, McClaren told fans:

"What with all the new talent we have at our disposal, we don't really need Frank, who hasn't really performed anyway. Joleon Whatsisname of Everton, and that big Heskey fella aren't bad, and we've always got Steve Gerrard, even though he's not 100% fit."

If England do not win both games, they will be eliminated from the Euro 2008 championships, and would then doubtless be pelted with eggs.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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