Written by Robert W. Armijo

Tuesday, 4 September 2007

image for Italian divers attempt to live underwater for two weeks as part of a new test pilot witness protection program
Specially trained CIA hit man dolphins spotted off the coast of Sicily

Rome, Italy - Somewhere under the Sea, 15 meters beneath the surface of the water off the island of Ponza near Rome, six very brave men in diving bells hope to realize their mutual dream come true: to live long enough to see tomorrow, oblivious to them what is going on the choppy watery surface above.

Originally, announced to the public that all six divers were apart of a scientific experiment to determine if man can successfully sustain himself underwater, it was discovered today they are, in fact, participants in an undercover Italian police operation, a test pilot underwater witness protection program.

Italian law officials were in the midst of testing that pilot program when all six of the divers actual identities, not their pseudonyms, where inadvertently leaked by officials to the media. All six of the divers names are known mafia informants, due to testify in an up coming very public criminal case this month.

Now officials, although, concerned for the safety of the all six divers, refuse to pull them off the pilot program, insisting it is still the safest location they could find to hide them from the mafia until they have an opportunity to testify at the trial in a couple of weeks.

At the very lest, it will save officials time in locating the bodies, say critics of the pilot program.

With the exception of the oxygen and fresh water, which they have a two weeks supplies, the six divers are expected to hunt down their own meals. While avoiding being hunted by specially trained CIA hit man dolphins purchased by the mafia at a U.S. military surplus government auction and spotted somewhere off the coast of Sicily, headed in their general direction.

Reportedly a Hollywood producer has already bought the rights for another American reality TV show to be called, "Sleeping with the Fishes," depending on the outcome of the divers' fate.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Italy, Italians, Diving, Sea, Ocean

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