Fans Told to Seek Help For Amy Winehouse Addiction
Fans of the pint-sized Brit singer, Amy Winehouse, have been urged by do-gooders to seek medical help over their addiction to news about the star.
Read full storyLarry Birkhead, Howard K Stern and Judge Larry Seidlin in gay three-way porno video shag-in
New York - (Ass Mess): An explosive new Anna Nicole Smith book says that the father of her baby Dannielynn - Larry Birkhead - along with her former lawyer cum business partner Howard K Stern and Florida Judge Larry Seidlin were captured in a gay thre...
Read full storyNow we are Greek.....
London - (Ass Mess): At last the douchebag 40-something bastard son of George W Bush and a former UK social worker has finally wormed his way out into the limelight as a self-invented Greek tycoon shoring up the London property market and bidding to...
Read full storyDear Mars; An Angry Letter
I'm sure some of you will of picked up on this crazy term, 'Funsize' and were outraged by it. The following is a draft letter to Mars.
Read full storyShe ain't Hillary, she's Lyndon Johnson's daughter
Washington - (Ass Mess & ReUterus): Hillary Rodham Clinton isn't Hillary Rodham Clinton - she's Lyndon B Johnson's daughter Susan, according to a new book published today by Pierre Salinger's biographer.
Read full storyRon Paul Is Supposed To Be President
South Texas, yesterday-- Here's what's in the news. Ron Paul wants us to have lower taxes, less government, and Ron Paul gives us more protection for our borders. The most important thing about the straw poll is: it was a rehearsal vote, so R...
Read full storyTiger Woods teaches Dick Van Dyke how to spin web
Golf master Tiger Woods has taught "Mary Poppins" dancing fool Dick Van Dyke how to spin a spider web.
Read full storyBishop Desmond Tutu wins big in Las Vegas
Former Chairman of South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission, Bishop Desmond Tutu, struck it rich at the slot machines on a wild weekend in Vegas.
Read full storyPrincess Leia indulges in spot of torture
[4Q News report] -Princess Leia from the "Star Wars" movies, accepted an invitation to tortureFalong Gong members while visiting the Chinese Communist Party stronghold of V...
Read full storyMatlock makes rare appearance to promote Lil Kim clothing line
TV's "Matlock" turned up to promote Lil Kim's new fashion line for oversized short women.
Read full storyRon Paul nominated to become Vice President
Immediately following the violence at the Straw Poll for the Republican Party in Fort Worth Texas campaign advisors for Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani, and Fred Thompson gathered to discuss how to deal with the BlowBack generated by the YouTube Video p...
Read full storySurvivorman Has Head Shrunken by Irate Natives
Quebec, Ontario (IP) - Survivorman Les Stroud was captured by irate natives of the Bongo Bongo tribe in the Amazon Jungle yesterday and had his head shrunken down to the size of an orange. They did not kill him, they just shrunk down his head.
Read full storyBush in Iraq Delivering Rubber Turkeys Again
Bagadad, Iraq (IP) - George Bush is back in Iraq today delivering a huge load of rubber turkeys for the troop's Thanksgiving dinner. They had enough room in Air Force One for each soldier to get his own turkey.
Read full storyVatican police officer committs suicide with three bullets to the head
Vatican Shitty - (God's Banker Mess): A Vatican Police Corpse officer was found suicided today at a police barracks bathroom near the Sistine Chapel.
Read full storyVoyeuristic pal of Lord Walker crashes through tanning salon ceiling
Chippenham, Wiltshire - (Ass Tanning Mess): Just days after former Thatcher cabinet minister Lord Walker admitted crashing through a Worcestershire couple's living room celing as they were sitting down to a cuppa and the six o'clock news on...
Read full story"Two hairs of the dog and a stiffener for our pal in the limo, landlord"
Soweto, South Africa - (Ass Mess): South African film studios are planning an updated 21st century remake of the 1956 classic Invasion of the Body Snatchers following an incident in Soweto this week.
Read full storyAnn Coulter's rhetorical style praised by underachieving adolescent boys
Ann Coulter, the right-wing political commentator who is called "attractive" because she's one of the extremely few Republican women who doesn't have a bigger moustache than Saddam did, has found a new generation of admirers. And it...
Read full storyManchester United In 'For Sale' Shock
Manchester United fans are in shock today after reports from people living near their Old Trafford ground spoke of having seen 'For Sale' notices outside the stadium.
Read full storyKarl Rove Spotted in Paraguay
After mysteriously disappearing from public sight 2 days ago, Karl Rove has succeeded in eluding angry Democratic Congressional leaders, and flocks of bloggers with cell phone cameras. Now, there have been 3 spottings of Rove in a remote part of Par...
Read full storyRon Paul Bigger Than Texas!
3 Sep 07, HIGHLAND PARK, TX, USNA-- After winning the Texas GOP Straw Poll, presidential candidate Dr. Ron Paul was widely criticized for nonchalantly permitting T...
Read full storySenator Larry Craig Denies Resigning
In a seemingly not uncommon political reversal, Senator Larry Craig (R - Idaho) held a press conference to address news reports he has resigned from the US Senate.
Read full storyClinton Elected at CFR Straw Poll; Ron Paul Shrugs
3 Sep 07 DAVOS, SWITZERLAND, EU-- After a cordial weekend of debates, The Spoof can reveal results from the quiet straw poll held this weekend by the Council on Foreign Relations (tip of the hat to anonymous delegate from Transylvania). In related ne...
Read full storyEco-friendly pope reinstates Inquisition for polluters
LORETO, Italy (AFP) - Pope Benedict XVI hosted a colossal Catholic mass Sunday attended by half a million Italians, telling them to throw away their video games, burn their automobiles and use their cell phones to "take care of the environment.&...
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