Ron Paul Is Supposed To Be President

Funny story written by Kara

Monday, 3 September 2007

image for Ron Paul Is Supposed To Be President
If Ron Paul is good, then he will get three things to do.

South Texas, yesterday-- Here's what's in the news. Ron Paul wants us to have lower taxes, less government, and Ron Paul gives us more protection for our borders. The most important thing about the straw poll is: it was a rehearsal vote, so Ron Paul was winning the election. Ron Paul is better than Hillary Clinton.

Ron Paul wants us to have lower taxes so that government won't take your money. And he doesn't want the government to take your money, that's why he gives us lower taxes. The taxes are when someone, like the government, takes your money. The government spends your money on Foom. Then your money gets to Dr. Debt. The government says, "Would you hold the money?" Dr. Debt says, "I will," and then he doesn't hold it, he gives you someone else's money. He works at a secret place, and the place that he works at is the Federal Reserve.

Next, Ron Paul lets us have less government because smaller government is good. Then he wants us to have smaller government, which is the same as lower taxes because the government takes your money. The government is like a big group of people who spend their whole day writing rules, if they're good or bad. They spend a lot of their time writing rules, and if the government is smaller, then there are more people having fun, sharing, and doing a lot of good stuff. And the government should be smaller because Ron Paul says, "We need smaller government, and they take your money, which is called a tax."

And then he gives us more protection to our borders, and they'll be safe from Mexico so that Mexico won't break some of the borders into pieces. Because Mexico is not supposed to break them up into halves. Mexico is running into the borders, and everyone says, "Do not cross the line! This is the special line! You're not supposed to cross it." Ron Paul says, "Don't cross the border," and Ron Paul keeps it safe from Mexico. And then, when they get to another border, he says, "Don't cross it," and he keeps it safe. Ron Paul keeps them safe so that Mexico won't break them. "Crossing the border is against the law," Ron Paul says. And then Ron Paul will keep our borders safe.

But some people went to Ron Paul's straw poll in South Texas. Kara did, she was in North Texas and went to his straw poll in South Texas. And it's just a rehearsal of voting for Ron Paul; it's not the president votes, it's just a vote that will start some time to vote. They had a little breakfast and then they started voting a rehearsal vote. Ron Paul was going to be the good guy and Hillary Clinton was going to be the bad girl. In the straw poll they had a breakfast in the morning, and at the night the rehearsal vote was going to be ready. Ron Paul won the vote. And then Hillary Clinton is not going to be president, Ron Paul got the most votes, so he won the election. That's good that Hillary Clinton didn't win, but Ron Paul got election at his straw poll. The straw poll was a rehearsal in South Texas, where Ron Paul lives.

Ron Paul is better than Hillary Clinton. And Hillary Clinton wants to do something different, and the different thing she does is bad, and Ron Paul is better. That's why he's supposed to be President. Now Hillary Clinton is not going to be President today. And Hillary Clinton is not supposed to be President, because Mom says she's bad. And what about her voice? Hillary Clinton's voice sounds bad. Her voice sounds yucky, sounds like her. Her voice is not very soundful. Ron Paul is going to be president soon, but not this year. He's gonna be president next year, '08.

--Kara, age 4

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more