Karl Rove Quits His Post (in accordance with the Prophecy)
Outside the Beltway (Damnation Press) - Karl 'Christian' Rove, who actually carries a piece of wood that may or may not be from Jesus's cross with him wherever he goes, has announced his resignation as Deputy Chief of Staff to President G...
Read full storyIntelligent Design Theory challenged by new "Stupid Design" Theory
This is not an easy time to be a proponent of Intelligent Design theory {"ID"}. The public remains unconvinced that ID is anything other than creationism. This despite ID scientist Dr. Michael Behe's explaining the difference: "Hec...
Read full storyAishwarya decries Bollywood Brangelina comparison
Delhi - (Rioters): "Don't call us Bollywood Brangelina!" an angry Aishwarya Rai told reporters today as she and her husband Abishek Bachchan fended of comparisons to Hollywood's golden couple.
Read full storyGunned down M40 Hell's Angel was born-again evangelical pastor
Junction 19, M40 - (Ass Mess): The 35 year old Canadian Hell's Angel biker gunned down at 70mph on the Warwickshire stretch of the M40 last weekend was a Bible-thumping evangelical pastor who moved to South London to take up a missionary position...
Read full storyNew space travel plans announced
At a press conference today, President Bush stunned the nation by announcing that the U.S. is radically changing its space travel objectives. Bush said, "To ensure America remains number one in space, it's not enough to return to the moon an...
Read full storyBergman's Ghost Films Bergman's Funeral
The ghost of legendary film-maker Ingmar Bergman has made a short movie of the funeral of his earthly remains according to senior spiritualist Icy Deadfolk.
Read full storyDiana memorial service fiasco as two hundred ex-shags demand tickets
Chapel Royal -(Ass Mess): The August 31st memorial service for Diana, Princess of Wales is in danger of imploding after two hundred former shags, smack dealers, one night stands, male 'escorts' flings, personal 'masseurs' and assorted...
Read full storyMaldives holiday bombs as Kate gets her period
Maldives - (ReuterUs & Ass Mess): Prince William's desperation management publicity stunt to whisk Kate Middleton on a make-or-break holiday in the Maldives has bombed.
Read full storySnow White House Exit
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): White House shock-jock Tony Snow is quitting his post claiming he's run out of money and can't go on subsidising the Bush Administration and paying for expensive chemotherapy at the same time.
Read full storyUFO's Reclassified as Undocumented Aliens
(Washington) - In keeping with current guidelines for political correctness, the U.S. federal government has reclassified the occupants of UFO's as illegal immigrants and put them in the same category as other undocumented aliens.
Read full storyEastEnders Phil Mitchell To 'Get Angry' In Christmas Day Special
Phil Mitchell, the soft-centred bully boy of Albert Square, has been given the limelight again in the Christmas Day edition of the BBC soap EastEnders.
Read full storyMan Gets Engaged To The Wrong Jenna
A guy named Henry has become engaged to Jenna Bush, the alcoholic party-girl daughter of President George W. Bush, and has now realized his mistake.
Read full storyWhitney Houston announces comeback & new album
Wholesome Christian pop singer Whitney Houston has announced plans for a comeback. A new album, "It's Still Me," will be released later this year and will feature newly recorded versions of her greatest hits.
Read full storyMcClaren Panics And Recalls Has-beens For 'Friendly'
Steve McClaren, the least popular England football manager in the history of the game, has given 'one last chance' to two veterans of the English game, goalkeeper David James and his Portsmou...
Read full storyLily Allen Confirms Cancellation Of US Tour
Following an earlier report in the pages of The Spoof last week, Lily Allen Gets Boot From US , it has now been confirmed that pop star and loudmouth Lily Allen has had to cancel...
Read full story"I'll Massage Fergie's Shoulders" says Sven
SVEN GORAN ERIKSSON promises to patch up relations with Sir Alex Ferguson - by giving him a hot stone massage!...
Read full storyBig Brother Gerry Deserted By Gay Voters
Gerry Stegosaurus, the clever-clogs 31-year-old Greek-born Big Brother contestant, sensationally became the 10th person to be evicted from the show last night, when the gay voters he had been dependi...
Read full storyFirst Lady beheaded for not bearing President a male heir
In a surprising development, First Lady Laura Bush was beheaded last week on the orders of her husband, President George W. Bush. The decapitation was to express the President's displeasure with Mrs. Bush for her never having given birth to a son...
Read full storyLaw lonely, depressed and senile
Australia, Melbourne (Asian Federation) - John Law was at it again today, describing all Asian drivers as small, angry people who have trouble keeping their eyes open.
Read full storyChina to remove cars (and Asians) off its streets
China, Wnker (Communist News) - The Chinese government is set to enforce a new set of laws that are to yank cars of its street in a bid to reduce the amount of citizens seen during the Beijing Olympics.
Read full storyDwarf Planets, Insulted By, Dwarf. Prefer to be called, Little Planets
For 72 years our known solar system had 9 planets, that was until the scientific community took a vote as to what constitutes a planet. Scientist debated the issue and decided a planet is a celestial body that orbits our sun and clears the area surro...
Read full story"Kate Middleton sexier than Di ever was" survey claims
In what appears to be more of a list of names than a serious news item, 'The Spoof' today claims that more men have one off the Oliver thinking about sexy Kate Middleton than they do about Royal outcast Diana Spencer.
Read full storyMattel cancels production order from its Chinese-toy manufacture of its latest Transformer character, 'Lead' Zeppelin
New York, New York - It would have been one of the greatest examples of synergy product-tie-in placement ever, say industry insiders, Based on this summer's blockbuster movie, Transformers, Mattel's introduction of the least Transformer chara...
Read full storyQueen admits to multiple orgasms!
In a rare break from Royal protocol the Queen sensationally admitted to George Bush yesterday that she regularly has multiple orgasms and further that her sex life was better now than it had ever been.
Read full storyBush and Brown split widens
Washington - Scottish President, Gordon Brown met with US President, George W Bush, for a meeting to further cement the special relationship between the two nations; however difficulties arose because of Bush's use of strong language.
Read full storySatirist Peter Musgrove at last gets the "Stop-Warning" sign
At last after years of trying, satirist and part time Psychiatric Nurse, Peter Musgrove has finally received the critically acclaimed "Stop-Warning" sign for a piece of his work.
Read full story50% of "Children in Needs" donations go on Wogan's wages.
In a statement that will shock viewers throughout the UK, the BBC announced today that almost 50% of the profits they make from this year's Children in Need appeal will go on Terry Wogan's wages.
Read full storyRudy Giuliani to end illegal immigration; vows to detain and deport anyone in America with an ethnically sounding last name
Washington, D.C. - Republican Presidential contender, former mayor of New York City, Rudy Giuliani, announced he would put an end to all illegal immigration in the United States if he were elected President by detaining and deporting anyone in Americ...
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