China to remove cars (and Asians) off its streets

Funny story written by arkticcool

Saturday, 18 August 2007

image for China to remove cars (and Asians) off its streets
China to remove cars (and asians) off its streets to control population growth.

China, Wnker (Communist News) - The Chinese government is set to enforce a new set of laws that are to yank cars of its street in a bid to reduce the amount of citizens seen during the Beijing Olympics.

A spokeswoman representing China stated that, "The point of this law is not to control the population, that has already been done, it is to reduce the amount of Chinese citizens seen on our streets, a part of the larger 'If you can't see it it isn't there' plan.".

Starting with a four-day trial ban it uses a system of even and odd number plates to decide which cars and citizens are allowed in the city at any one time. Reaction has been luke-warm to the new laws with people on the street saying;

"Go to hell you capitalist pig-dogs!" said Hen Yi a supporter of the government, "You come to our country and think you can just ask us questions, you democratic slave."

"I don't think its a good idea to get Chinese citizens off the street, where would they go, Mongolia?" said Zhang Wee a so called 'Banana' supporter.

"Its a good move, what kind of tourist would want to see the real China, it's polluted, dirty and smells like dim sims." said Li Wan, a realist.

Violators of the controversial law are said to be issued with a 100 yuan fine (a bowl of rice or $16 dolaa). Most citizens are expected to follow the law and use the subway system, with the government hoping to slow population growth through a series of unfortunate train accidents.

The law is expected to come into effect tomorrow and is hoped to reduce the amount of citizens seen by up to fifty percent. A trial run for the highly anticipated 2008 Beijing Olympic games, a experienced traffic consultant had only this to offer, "It'll never work, its like trying to buy something from a 2 dollar shop without it breaking.".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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