There were 51 spoof news stories published in June 2003. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Lonely-Hearts ads to become entirely acronyms
Lonely-Hearts adverts that you may see at the back of any tabloid newspaper or magazine, are set to become even more cryptic. Many tabloid newspapers have released a statement to the effect that all adverts will become entirely acronym based, in orde...
Read full storyGhost Porn hits the net - it's everywhere!
Ghost pornography is the latest internet craze that's unlikely to go down well in your local church. But according to internet expert Mark Thomson, its popularity is rising: "Ghost porn is a fairly strange phenomena - if you'll excuse th...
Read full storyTennis Craze Hits UK Pubs
As is usual at this time of year the tennis craze has hit the UK hard, with the Queens and Wimbledon tournaments making the brits literally drool whilst watching in an often comatose and inebriated state. Pubs have been quick to latch on to this craz...
Read full storyThe real deal on food
A.A. Gill is a damn liar. 'The Sunday Times' columnist has, for many years now, fooled the nation's broadsheet-buying public into thinking that he was a food critic. Fools! "Gill" (if, I very much doubt, that is his real name) can now be exposed as the fraud that he truly is. For while the words underneath his name may say 'Food Critic', have you ever actual...
Read full storyDusty Bin to become gay icon
3-2-1's most famous asset - the Bin - has been taken high upon the shoulders of self-proclaimed "gay people", and is set to become the next big thing amongst queers.
Read full storySMS Blamed for New Spate of Illiteracy
In a study carried out in England and Wales, it has been found that children who send over ten text messages (txts) per day are producing increasingly poor work.
Read full storyHome Office tighten security after Parker-Bowles break-in at Windsor
Home Secretary David Blunkett has apologised to the Royal Family and promised tighter security after last week's break in at Prince William's 21st birthday 'bash'. Invited guests at the party were shocked to see Camilla Parker-Bowles...
Read full storyTennis, it's a funny old game
I was watching tennis last night on the telly, and I didn't quite understand what it was about. Two people just hitting a ball around, I mean come on! At least with football you have some kind of team action going on. But with tennis it's just like, what?!...
Read full storyShroud of Turin - just a handkerchief!
Researchers at Oxford University have found evidence that the infamous 'Shroud of Turin', said to be the death-cloth of Jesus Christ, does indeed date back to the first century AD.
Read full storyTroops find Saddam's hidden stockpile!
The US and the UK today announced the finding of a massive stockpile of hidden Grecian 2000, hair dying products!...
Read full storyI want to form a progressive rock band
How old are you? Are you young? Are you reasonably trendy? Can you play some sort of instrument? Do you know people similarly....afflicted? Fine. Then everything's set up for you. All you have to do now is find a song writer.
Read full storyMy White Plastic Chair
My White Plastic Chair by Phrank Phraser. I should be feeling guilty. I really should be hanging my sunburnt head in shame and pleading for forgiveness for having idled away so much precious time doing nothing. But strangely I’m not. And what’s more I don’t care.
Read full storySaddam's 'Y' Front Shocker
The Allies were shaken by intelligence reports suggesting that Saddam has made an audacious escape from Iraq by wearing a pair of ?Y' fronts.
Read full storyGirl Survives Bitch Attack
A young grammar school girl, Felicity Crockett, aged 13 and 3/4, survived a horrific bitch attack today. The young Welsh girl was assaulted by other girls her own age from her Grammar school in Yorkshire.
Read full storyThe state of the world
I don't want to start some cocksure diatribe about how everything is dumb except me. I don't want to stick my fingers in my ears and shout endless incantations about wishing death and disease on everyone I encounter. I don't want to go to work in a morning. But these are all things that I do end up doing.
Read full storyBring back Birds of a Feather!
Sometimes we all wake up in the morning and ask ourselves this question: "How do I fill the gap in my life that's been left gaping, by the departure of Birds of a Feather from our TV screens?" Well, I know I woke up this morning with exactly that question on my brain. Oh, how I would laugh at Dorien's constantly rancid sexual practises, Sharon's compulsive obses...
Read full storyWomen to come with warning
Health ministers today declared that in future all women would come with a warning.
Read full storyPlutonium Sneaks into Windor Castle
There was public anger this afternoon after it was discovered that three tonnes of weapons-grade plutonium managed to sneak past Windsor Castle police officers, enter the Royal bedroom, and make love to the Queen.
Read full storySchool Underachiever 'Comes Good
School boy Callum Horrocks (7) was pronounced World Champion Thumb Wrestler at the Internation Thumb Wars (ITW), Blackpool UK.
Read full storyAuction Channels Shorten Life Expectancy
Various health groups say TV shopping auction style channels should be banned on evidence which indicates they shorten life expectancies. Channels such as bid-up.tv and Auction-World.tv sell highly-marked up goods at knock down prices in an aucti...
Read full storyJames Randi pays out $1million JREF Challenge prize to Uri Geller
James Randi, head of the JREF Foundation, a foundation dedicated to debunking the paranormal, supernormal and other "ending in normal" things, has this week been forced to admit defeat.
Read full storyBlair offends royals with 'Alistair McGowen style' poses
Beloved PM, Tony Blair, has today angered royals with his recent portrayal of Prince Charles on top TV show "Alastair McGowen's Big Impression".
Read full storyMan finds joke in 'Rack of Wine'
The day was just like any other Tuesday, when this intrepid reporter came across the image as shown. For a second, maybe two, the image meant nothing to me - it was just a couple of bottles of wine.
Read full storyDon McLean writes 47 minute song for new album
Veteran musician, Don McLean - famous for recently murdered song 'American Pie' - has released plans to include a 47 minute song on his new Album: "Screw Madonna".
Read full storyTennis stars - are they holograms?
The internet...it's a wonderful place where knowledge, wisdom and common-sense are thrown out of the window. But if we've learned anything, it's that real life sometimes is as crazy as Internet life. And that's certainly true...
Read full storyBig Brother Bosses Condemned
Bosses at Channel 4 have received hundreds of complaints by rejected entrants saying their selection process was far too discriminative and unfair.
Read full storyComputer giant to release new 'Dell-boy' PC
Computer Giant DELL are to release their new brand PC, the 'Dell-boy'. The machine is a 2.5Ghz P4, with a zirconia-encrusted gold case.
Read full storyAlien Tech-No-Logy
If I was to say to you that aliens existed, you'd probably stop punching me in the face and kick me in the nuts. But for one small town in the north of England it seems alien technology is high on the agenda.
Read full story'Luckiest' man alive dies in horrid accident
Dan 'Lucky' McLuck, died earlier this week in what can only be described as a shocking and horrible accident.
Read full storyElton John told to 'fuck off'
Somehow popular musical entertainer, Elton John, was today told to 'fuck off', by me.
Read full storyNew 'Pop Idle' TV show
Contestants are now being head-hunted for a new television entertainment show 'Pop Idle'. The aim of the show is to pick the most able but least motivated out of a group of 15 to 25 year olds.
Read full storyBlunkett sacking shock
Shock has spread throughout the political landscape tonight after the news that Tony Blair has sacked Home Secretary David Blunkett for "not knowing what people look like".
Read full storyTatu joined by young male!
Controversial lesbian pop "duo" Tatu have surprisingly announced another addition to their band: a baby boy!...
Read full storyButcher jailed for whipping out beef in public place
Like many a butcher, Jeff Wade had often been criticised for his apron wearing, an affront to the many people who don't wear aprons and thought by many to be 'over-egging the pudding', clotheswise.
Read full storyWeetabix to be 'enhanced' with Viagra
Cereal favourite, Weetabix, is said to be launched within the next few months in a new variety: "Weetabix Ultra". This 'enhanced' version of the cereal is said to include small chunks of popular erectile tissue encourager, Viagra.
Read full storyAmerican Football to be renamed 'socca'
The NFL, American Football's controlling board, have stated that American Football is to be renamed 'socca'. To fit in with what they called 'the 21st Century way of being', the NFL have decided to rename the sport simply because...
Read full storyRooney gives England coach Selection headache
England's footballing child-wonderstar, Wayne Rooney, has been cautioned after giving Sven Goran Eriksson a pounding headache. The injury was bestowed on Eriksson by Rooney's insistence in playing his heavy-metal records (by a band called Sel...
Read full storyClassroom investigation: Stress caused by hard times
Scientists this week announced plans to investigate the hypothesis that stress is caused by difficulties in peoples' lives.
Read full storyRussian Steelworker Arrested
The NYPD have detained a Russian holiday maker, Dimiti Gloopy (32), today for attempting to import steel illegally into the US. The offending article was a container of stainless-steel cutlery, which Mr Gloopy had allegedly concealed within his l...
Read full storySports star re-writes history book
A sports star who we're unable to name for legal reasons has been arrested for unlawfully re-writing a history book.
Read full storySETI@Home results accidentally deleted - no backup!
The SETI@Home project has been running on many a computer for the past 4 years, downloading peta-bytes of 'narrow band signals' to their computers 'searching for extra-terrestrial life'. However, the project's organisers have anno...
Read full storyMan claims woman 'nagged' him
A man in Essex has today announced that his girlfriend of 1 year has nagged him.
Read full storyBlind man says: 'stop licking my eyes!'
A blind man in Turesca, Italy, is said to be suing family members following allegations that they would sneak into his room whilst asleep and lick his eyeballs.
Read full storyThe future is bright - but smelly!
Scientists at Caltech University, FL. have started research on small bacteria that will process or eat, faeces whilst still in the body. Microbiologist, Mark Thompson, explained:...
Read full story'Most pretentious band' awards hot up
The first ever annual awards show for 'most pretentious band' is ready to announce it's candidates this week. Many tip Rock and Rap bands to top the awards list, including artists like P Diddy and bands like Limp Bizkit.
Read full story'Bums!' says world's most expensive computer
Sources at Datcomp, the US's largest military and science computer manufacturer, have leaked reports of a large-scale blunder at their headquarters in New Mexico.
Read full storyAlice admits that 'wonderland' was "trippy as f**k"
Alice, star of famed children's book 'Alice in Wonderland', has today announced that her experience was 'trippy as f**k'. Alice's language has shocked many people, whilst the rest seem rather blase about the announcement.
Read full storyWomen found to have larger knees than men
In the latest battle of the sexes, it has been found that most large legged women have bigger knees than most small legged men. The startling results, discovered by Research Group 'Kneetech' are said to be causing a stir.
Read full storyHasselhoff to become ITN's latest newsreader
News company, ITN, have lured Knight-Rider star David Hasselhoff into a £2million deal to read the evening news. Hasselhoff is said to be 'extremely hungry.
Read full storyCherie Blair to change sex - revealed by husband's gaffe.
Media personnel were shocked today as Tony Blair has announced that he announced: "I am 100% behind my wife's decision to change sex", during a press conference about the Gulf War II. Blair's gaffe caused shocked outbursts by those...
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