Written by Mr X

Monday, 30 June 2003

If I was to say to you that aliens existed, you'd probably stop punching me in the face and kick me in the nuts. But for one small town in the north of England it seems alien technology is high on the agenda.

On the morning of the 16th a passer-by in the town of Woodfield noticed a smoking hole in a nearby field. On closer inspection he found a small round metal object which was burning red hot at the time. In his stupidity and curiosity, the man decided to pick the object up and was instantly burned. On the way to the hospital, the officers who were with him at the time stated that the burn seemed to get worse. Upon arrival at the hospital, the man was told, under the guidance of a trained doctor to "let go of the damn thing you crazy fool!".

Later, scientists studying the object were quoted as saying:"The object has clearly come from the sky, and we have on closer inspection discovered a strange alien like language imprinted on to the object."

News of this discovery travelled fast, but when one of the scientists dropped the object and picked it up the wrong way round, the writings became clear 'Property of British Armed Forces Live Grenade'.

It was also said that upon dropping the grenade the pin was accidentally pulled out. The rest of the story speaks for itself.

That's all from the town Woodfield for now slightly more chared than ever before. Thank you for reading from your number one reporter, Mr X.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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