Butcher jailed for whipping out beef in public place

Funny story written by KendoMonkey

Saturday, 21 June 2003

Like many a butcher, Jeff Wade had often been criticised for his apron wearing, an affront to the many people who don't wear aprons and thought by many to be 'over-egging the pudding', clotheswise.

So, Jeff Wade decided to plop out his plonker in the local part this week, and was arrested.

Wade, 32, has been bailed but is set to be jailed for up to 12 months for his naked frollicking.

"I only did what I thought was in the interest of others," Wade told us. "I've had some real abuse in my time for wearing too many clothes. But I'm a butcher, I need an apron. I don't want to get bits of Cow Heart all over my Ben Sherman now, do I?"

Wade is also said to be talking to psychiatrists about his various 'hang-ups'.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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