The Los Angeles Dodgers File For Chapter 11 Bankruptcy - They May End Up Moving South of The Border To Mexico
LOS ANGELES - The popular refrain of "Play ball!" may no longer be heard around DodgerLand. Team owner Frank "Excedrin Headache" McCourt has had to file Chapter 11 Bankruptcy and has stated that he will not be able to pay the players come pay day...
Read full storyWhat? More Of This Rubbish? Letters To The Editor Yet Again
Dear Sir, may I, as an occasional reader, speak up for the humble cod? Wherever I go, I find that nary a person has a kind word for the cod. I am frequently made nauseous by the effusions of some of our more simple-minded citizens, upon the subject of their pet animals, viz. lap dogs, cats, various songsters, and suchlike. But how many endearments is the cod vouchsafed? Not one. Well? Have y...
Read full storyMichael Palin And John Cleese Asked To Take The Monty Python Dead Parrot Sketch On Nationwide Tour
After an abortive attempt to produce a biopic of New Cross wrestling legend Mick McManus, featuring Peter Andre and Alex Reid, with a boob flashing cameo from Katie Price, and an unproductive period as hopelessly inept internet search diverter, 'Skoo...
Read full storyBritain: Has-Been Nation Flexes Sporting Muscles
Long regarded as being an over the hill nation, oft derided by its many detractors, lampooned for its relaxed immigration policies, mocked for failing to keep the 21st Century pace, its broken infrastructure, its lack of any significant military or i...
Read full storyStrange Religion Causes Controversy
A new religion has formed called Factology, a religion supposedly based entirely on fact. The religion was started when Reverend Babba Yagga Yuga (formerly know as Peter Simmons) was meditating in a field when a strange vision came to him. He said...
Read full storyLocal man starts acting responsibly. Close friends concerned.
A local man has taken the unprecedented step of changing his sheets recently and ironing some of his clothes, even if he isn't 'on a promise' that evening. According to close friends he 'just started acting a bit more responsibly' Along with a...
Read full storyGormless consumer behaviour on show as Pop does, in fact, continue to eat itself
There was brief excitement today as some band got into the charts with a song that sounded a bit like a good song that an older band did years ago but everyone had forgotten about. Both songs contain a reasonably catchy riff and a decent chorus, a...
Read full storyOrgan playing Dorking pensioner in rhubarb scandal
A Dorking vegetable grower has barricaded himself in his garden shed after being accused of stealing rhubarb from an adjoining allotment. Retired maths teacher Cyril Nonce, aged 88, had been reported to the police by his vigilant next door neighbo...
Read full story60's Pop Combo The Applejacks To Form Lottery Syndicate
The 1960's pop combo from Solihull in the West Midlands, the Applejacks, who had a monster 60's hit with 'Tell Me When' have announced that they are to form a National Lottery Syndicate. Initially, it is thought that the syndicate will only involv...
Read full storyThe Headless Twins: A Lord Peter Flimsy Mystery, Part I
Lord Peter Flimsy sighed. "Oh dash it, Shunter, I've forgotten me posset pot catalogue. We shall have to go back, don't you know!" "Very good, your Lordship." Percy Shunter, former batman and now butler, butler and former batman, once batman, now butler, now butler, once batman, gritted his teeth (he kept a supply of grit in his pocket; the old toothy-pegs could get dashed slippery at this tim...
Read full storyRyan Cleary Prediction Rocks The Psychic World
A prediction by an unknown psychic has shocked the world of computer hacking and sent shivers of excitement through the psychic world. It was predicted on Friday by Spoof Writer Katarina Frogpond (that's me), that Ryan Cleary would be released on...
Read full storyWhen your student child comes home
Parents who experience the relief of their children gaining university or college places far away after many years of putting up with them at home are sometimes driven to despair, especially when sonny boy (or girl) decides to visit mum or dad at home during the semester holidays or weekends. Parents normally attempt to avoid the visit by boarding up their front windows, doors and porches actin...
Read full storyAndy Murray Blows Gasquet at Wimbledon Today
Not since the days when John McEnroe roamed the turf at Wimbledon has so much controversy been heard of. When he complained that "the ball was definitely in!" There was room for human error. However, within a decade all that changed and the decisions...
Read full storyGary Numan Out Of Tubeway Army To Form Pub Quiz Team
White faced seventies electro pop sensation, Gary Numan, out of Tubeway Army, best known for his 1979 hit single 'Are Friends Electric,' has announced that he will be forming a pub quiz team down his West Sussex local, the Android Ploughman, somewher...
Read full storyIncentives for New Teachers "Not Realistic"
Leading education experts have today pointed out that proposed incentives to attract teachers are poorly thought through and will not work in the real world. Unions, school governors and parent bodies have pointed out that there is no recognition...
Read full storyEngland women's footy team prove that the men are just a bunch of "pussies"!
The England women's footy team got off to a great start at the World Cup in Germany today by taking the lead against the Mexicans something that their male colleagues failed to do at any time in South Africa last year. The England coach, Hope Powe...
Read full story'He was my rock' says Cameron amid dead Tory 'cocaine claims'
Oxon - Officials at Central Orifice are said to be 'cracking up' amid admittedly unsubstantiated reports that Christopher Shale 'had traces of the class-A drug on him'. The 56 year-old Tory appartchick (sic) vanished for some 20 hours before being...
Read full storyChina at the Table
Under my china plate at a meeting to greet Prime Minister Wen Jiabo I found several £50 notes with a message: 'Accept this gift and rejoice in china as the service which supplies your needs'. I realised this was a discreet way of saying 'Avert your eyes from the shortcomings of china - the fact that we break people and smash their brains in - remember we are at the Top Table now!' My instinc...
Read full storyCrap Tips And Money Saving Ideas - with Mickey Thomas
Welcome to the first, and probably the last edition of Crap Tips and Money Saving Ideas - with Mickey Thomas. We are hoping to make this a regular feature in the Magazine Section of the Spoof.com, although it will probably never catch on. Any similarity between this and other tips and helpful hints columns in the TV Times, Viz Comic, or The Economist is purely coincidental. Honest! It is! Micke...
Read full storyTrains operate only in 'Goldilocks Zone'
Heat on overhead power lines has caused the cancellation of trains from London to other places. Questions have been asked as to why these same routes were similarly effected during the winter, but due to temperatures being too low. It appears tha...
Read full storyQueen Latifah and Charles Barkley Have Agreed To Star In "Serena and Venus Williams - The Two Big Mamas of Tennis"
LOS ANGELES - Noted motion picture producer Sheboygan Saddlewood has just announced that he will be producing and directing the TriMoon Films production of Serena and Venus Williams - The Two Big Mama's of Tennis. The film will star Queen Latifah...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Gets Attacked On Stage By An Australian Fan Who Gets Kicked Out To The Third Row
MELBOURNE, Australia - Miley Cyrus had just finished singing the last two words of her song "The Climb" when an over-exuberant fan jumped on stage and hugged the songstress from behind. The fan who was later identified as Matilda Spanferkel, 27, w...
Read full storyAmerican Border Patrols Checking All Vehicles Returning To Canada. Fireworks Being Smuggled.
All vehicles returning to Canada from trips to the US of A are being inspected meticulously for smuggled items. This month it is NOT drugs they are looking for but FIREWORKS. News quickly spread through Canada at the beginning of the month that t...
Read full storyHugh Hefner, Newt Gingrich, and John Edwards Are The Three Billy Goats Gruff
LOS ANGELES - Hugh Hefner was dumped by his fiancee four days before their scheduled Hollywood wedding. Newt Gingrich was dumped by his campaign workers and John Edwards was dumped by his 'baby mama.' All three men have been called collectively "T...
Read full storyWorried? Give It Half An Hour
Here's a bothering statistic: the average Brit spends 36 minutes a day worrying about something. A survey of 2,000 people showed that we worry about paying bills and keeping healthy, but the chief issue keeping us awake at night is: "Am I too fat?...
Read full storyJuly 1st solar eclipse will bring down Hong Kong astrologers warn Wen Jiabao
London - Visiting Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao took the announcement 'on the chin' as British astrologers issued their warning at crunchtime today. The gung-ho PM has steadfastly stonewalled on years of Hellfire Club, Triad gangster and Pyongyang co...
Read full storyPolitical Biscuits
Hot on the news that David Cameron is to release his own range of biscuits: David Cameroons, other politicians are to jump on the bandwagon and release their own ranges of biscuits. All politicians love a good bandwagon to jump on. "Eric Pickles i...
Read full storyDerek Acorah to run for Prime Minister
Derek Acorah, the world famous psychic, and only real conduit between the living and dead that has silver hair, has announced that he is to run for Prime Minister. "The ghost of Michael Foot came to Derek," said Acorah's close friend and adviser,...
Read full storyHydra Invasion of Swindon Narrowly Averted
Residents of Swindon had a lucky escape yesterday after a UFO crash landed full of Hydras on a health tourism trip. The Hydras had incorrectly heard that the UK has a first class health service and had flown all the way from Pluto. One of the hydras is a Siamese Hydra meaning that it has 16 heads instead of the normal 8 and had heard that it could be successfully operated on. The Siamese Hy...
Read full storyHistory Review: The Pursuit Of Italy, by David Gilmour
Subtitle: A History of a Land, its Regions and their Peoples Ever since the Risorgimento, there has been debate about whether the unification of Italy of 1860-61 was a 'a good thing.' David Gilmour argues that it was not. Ken Lucid assesses his case: Back in my student days I shared a house with six others - there were four of us guys and three girls. We were a pretty mixed bunch, and al...
Read full storyPresident Obama reveals Extra-terrestrial Intelligence
Washington, DC - An emotional President Obama held an impromptu press conference in The Rose Garden today, where he made an announcement sure to stun the international community, once the information is processed and confirmed. "My fellow world c...
Read full storySaddam Alive and Well in Trampoline
Alarmed at the recent rise in suicides over the internet in which people send emails requesting to die live via webcam, this reporter was sent to Trampoline in Libya for an exclusive. As so often happens, we were expecting a short Science and Technology article out of this assignment, but instead ended up with earth shattering headlines. This is the first part of a two part article. I arrived...
Read full storyThe Spoof John o' Groats Bike Run, Letter Home to Mom
Dear Mom, I arrived in Scotland to participate in The Spoof John o' Groats Bike Run from John o' Groats Scotland to Lands End Britain, a distance of 1410 kilometers (874 miles). I planned to have a few rounds of drinks, while meeting with my spoof writing buddies, prior to the charity bike run. However, the BOA airplane was late arriving at Edinburgh Airport, I missed my coach (bus) connection...
Read full storyLetters To The Editor - The Sunday Tomes (On A Monday)
ONIONS Dear Sir, What a swizz this Formula One motor racing lark is. My mate Jud told me to expect loads of thrills and spills, so you can imagine my disappointment when I tuned in to watch the European Grand Prix from Valencia, and all that happened was that some cars went round a track. Over and over again. I was hoping for some pile ups at the traffic lights - they didn't even have any tr...
Read full storyHow Dying Can Lower Your Cholesterol
It seems everyday there is a new way to lower your Cholesterol. You may have heard of eating Cheerios, but that would take weeks of eating and a great-deal of money spent on cereal boxes. What if there was a way to lower your cholesterol instantly with little effort. I met with Dr. Juan Hingo of Harvard University who explained to me that after numerous studies, the institute was able to au...
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